yes Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 hi guys, this is about my ex-friend with benefits ... he's married, and his wife now lives with him, along with their 2 year old. i've been in doubt for months whether or not I should tell his wife he's screwing around... i've also heard he's got a new "friend", and i feel bad for her - she probably doesn't know, just like i didn't, that he's married, and it's tempting to tell her... a friend of mine who knows this whole mess said if she gets a chance, she'll definitely tell this girl what she's getting into. any tips? i know it's cleaner to stay out of it & let people look out for themselves, but i feel bad doing that as well... On the other hand, he can deny everything to his wife easily (he's a dance instructor, so that can be his excuse for dealing with all these chicks); and the girl - well, he'll find a new one again, and then what - am i gonna tell the whole city he's married?... UGH! thanks, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 Yes, I have a tip. When you get out of a situation like this, totally delete it from your memory, empty the recycle buttom and move forward. Hanging around to forewarn others about this jerk is not good use of your time. Why should you be the only one who gets to learn a good lesson? Your time with this guy is over and remaining in his proximity and keeping up with his actions only protracts your pain and humiliation. What he does now is his business. Let him be!!! I hope you get through this OK and are able to move forward swiftly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted August 17, 2003 Author Share Posted August 17, 2003 hmm, yeah, totally closing the case is likely the best idea. there's no pain or humiliation - just unpleasantness, it was a learning experience. thanks, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
timeofyurlife Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 yes leave him and dont have anything more to do with him hang up when he calls ignore when you see him act like he doesnt exist that is the best thing the not knowing will drive him nuts wondering when the other shoe will dropwill have him climbing thew wallswanna piss someone off ignore them like they dont exist that will cause anyone to loose it trust me I have done it and it is just mindboggling how these people will react Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 i dont think i would be able to walk away and not say anything. i think everyone would end up hating you if you did tell, but hey, they would all learn something. maybe you could find an indirect way of letting them know what he is doing, but do it anonymously.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted August 17, 2003 Author Share Posted August 17, 2003 hmm, i don't think i can do it anonymously. and the problem is - if i open it up now, i'll end up doing it again and again with every gal he picks up, and i got better things to do with my life... so i'll just forget about it entirely. thanks for your opinion! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Whosdatgirl_07 Posted August 29, 2003 Share Posted August 29, 2003 ur right, its not worth stressing youself out over, and its not your problem to deal with, i know it sounds selfish, but u gotta think of urself, and think about IF you went on warning other gurls about this guy, you'd just frustrate yourself. Maybe his wife knows what he's doing behind her back and turning a blind eye to it, some women do that too..... anyways, its definetly best for you if u just walk away from this situation! take care Link to post Share on other sites
Natalie Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 I've read your post and I couldn't resist to add my own experience in a somewhat similar case. I worked at an office a while ago and there was this man (a colleague) who was continuosly trying to get "closer" to me. I have always considered him as a friend and nothing more. But he was head over heels..at least that is what he wanted me to believe.... He was married so I didn't believe anything he said and had no interest in him at all...he was not my type either and not to mention his age 53 (he became a grandpapa the same year). After unsuccessfully chasing me for months, he decides to hit on another girl who just started working there and had no clue about what was going on. She fell for it...poor girl was just 18, just came into this world, never had a boyfriend....I know all this because she and I became good friends.... so took every chance she came across without even thinking further. I felt so sorry for her and told her my own experience with the guy. She believed at first, she even asked me a whole set of questions. At the end she still dated him and told me that she was better off with him, because he had money and she'd be good for the rest of her life if she gets involved with him (she won't have to worry about financial problems) ...argh....stupid. She stopped hanging out with me and told everyone whoever wanted to listen, that I was jealous of her. It was painful for me, cause all I wanted was to prevent her from getting hurt. They broke up after a couple of months. I've learned my lesson Link to post Share on other sites
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