Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 So I have been dating, seeing 2 guys. Both are very different. So the Irish guy, I feel more of a connection with...He says all the right things, we have had sex and either text, call or see eachother every day for the past week (we have been talking for 3 weeks altogether). He told me it was fate that we met and my hand fits in his like it was made to be there, and he feels so comfortable with me. My dog does not bark around him like with the other guy and I said my dog likes you and he said to me "I like you" and I love your smile. This guy is so romantic and amazing. He walks me to the bathroom when we go out, he always asks me if I need something, he opens all the doors for me. He tells me that when I meet him mother I will learn alot more about him. He says he knows I am not used to be treated this way and that is why I doubt things. I told him that I was a bit scared to have feelings for him, he said just give it time andhe will prove it to me...I don't know what he meant but I did not harp on it. But He was supposed to call me last night but he texted instead..."I think your amazing" and then an hour later "Just thinking about you" ...he said he would call me in the morning. My question is what do you think about the things he had said so far, and when do I start letting my guard down so I don't go crazy trying to decipher each thing he says and does for me, when will I know he is for real? Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 mm u still need some time, i got out froma relationship 2 days ago which lasted 17 days and it was soo amazing I felt we were made for eachother and she was perfect and I loved her or thought i did and i let my guard down quik, but we ended itbecause it went too fast, I suggest u go through the stage where u know where he is in life...test him, see how he deals with his problems...etc.... but dont rush things and if they are going too fast take it slow.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 What do you mean when I say test him? and why do guys say they will call but don't? is it just they don't want to seem too desperate? Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 BY test him I mean use your trump card,,,although u may think it's a childish move but it will show u how he deals with pressure....fake a problem u have and just disappear, turn off ur mobile and go to ur mom's house or something and dont contact him for 2 days.....but let one of ur friends maintain contact with him so he could tell u whats going on....worked with me...u cna only use it once guys dont call sometimes because it may be that they are playing hard to get, they want u to miss them, rarely is it because they have little time or a busy schedule, u also have a point on seeming desparate, they dont want to seem desparate because it will make them look weak and helpless and they fear it will make u like them less, so its practically a hook to keep u on...afterall the guy is your boyfriend and NOT your girlfriend....the mistake I made in my recent relationship... Link to post Share on other sites
shockandawed Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Sorry, I cant advocate playing games of any sort in a relationship. Other than not calling last night, he appears to be really into you. I don't see the non-call as any big deal. He did text you a couple of times. There could be many reasons for it. Yes, he could be afraid of coming on too strong. How do you respond? Do you initiate calls, etc? He could feel his feelings are stronger than yours. Also, he could have just gotten busy. It has only been three weeks. Be yourself, be honest and go with how you feel. It's ok to be a little guarded and to take it slow, but it's not ok to make up lies to "test" him. If you want a relationship with this guy, then the foundation is important and beginning it with bs will only multiply it. Where does the other guy you mention at the very beginning fit in? Link to post Share on other sites
Intellectualbrat Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 BY test him I mean use your trump card,,,although u may think it's a childish move but it will show u how he deals with pressure....fake a problem u have and just disappear, turn off ur mobile and go to ur mom's house or something and dont contact him for 2 days.....but let one of ur friends maintain contact with him so he could tell u whats going on....worked with me...u cna only use it once guys dont call sometimes because it may be that they are playing hard to get, they want u to miss them, rarely is it because they have little time or a busy schedule, u also have a point on seeming desparate, they dont want to seem desparate because it will make them look weak and helpless and they fear it will make u like them less, so its practically a hook to keep u on...afterall the guy is your boyfriend and NOT your girlfriend....the mistake I made in my recent relationship... YES!!!!!! This is so true, this works, I did it and he drove 140 miles and got to my place at 1am because he was worried, called my son, my mother and everyone he could think of, and we were only talking, had not been together intimately or anything...True you can only use it once, but I have gotten away with 3 or 4 and it always works...Just last night I left his house and i felt like he was not being himself so i decided i would test him one last time..ofcourse i live 3 minutes from him now..i turned phones off and 2 hrs later he was at my apartment..Games women play..lol..but your heart will tell you what to do, listen to it. Good Luck!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Well the other guy is someone who is taking it very slow with me but has recently stepped up knowing that I am seeing someone else. But I feel a deeper connection with the Irish guy... Now last night in a text he said he will call me tomorrow morning and if he does not ...I do not know if I shouldtext him or call him...I usually let him do that because I don't want to care him off...i do text him once a day telling him to have a great day...he is leaving for his monthly reserves weekend today so he said he will see me sunday night if it is not too late when he gets back... if he doesn't call by 1230 I will text him.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 and how do I know he is just not saying all these things? I am so untrusting with other guys now because of my last relationship... Link to post Share on other sites
Intellectualbrat Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 I will be honest with you, my guy says im spoiled and proud, but I hardley ever call him, he calls me in the morning before he goes to work and he calls me at lunch and then he comes over and when he leaves he calls me again and sometimes during that period he calls a few times more..that only lets me know he thinks about me and he is thinking of me..I will text him during the day sometimes and say something like "have a great day or I miss you, or I love you..I would wait and not text or call, If you are on his mind and you really want to know if he cares then let him take the next step, I mean I don't think that's a game, i think It's about knowing and letting him decide if you are what he wants..think about it..if he misses you or if you are on his mind he will call..If not then it's not worth it...let it just go and see what happens. I wish you lots of luck Link to post Share on other sites
shockandawed Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 My personal feeling is once you had sex, it time to stop the "should I or shouldn't I" games with each other. I'm not being moralistic, but that is the so called trump card for me. You don't have it for the other guy, you need to let him know and move along. Don't string him because you are concerned about this one. Again, no one knows why he didn't call. My guess from what you say, is he is a little concerned about making all the moves. Pick up the phone and call him. It's the only way you know. Don't blast him about not calling, but show him you want to talk to him as well. I don't understand why you are comfortable enough to have sex with him, but not to call him? Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Erm, if you're sleeping with the Irish Guy and you're interested in the other guy... no offence intended here but do these two guys know this, if they do then great. If not, then would you mind please defining your idea of 'trust' because it would seem that you're asking for something from one of them which you're not prepared to give. If he's doing and saying things which make it seem he's into you, then pretty much with a guy, it's my experience that they do and say how it is, most guys can't be arsed with game playing and they'd not thank you for doing so. So what is it that you are doing...? Is one of them back-burner guy in case the other guy falls foul of the games...? If that's the case, do they know it and are they happy with it...? Also whilst we're here... how would you be feeling if these two guys also told you about some other girl they were seeing or sleeping with...? Would you be okay with it..? If you would I don't see why trusting them is an issue in that case because they're already being up front with you. I guess I'm kinda confused by this whole situ really. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Yes, that's true but I hate it when they don't answer the phone, that is the honest truth. I guess by 1230 if i get no call I will call him and leave a message if it goes to voicemail...i will let everyone know how it turns out. Link to post Share on other sites
Intellectualbrat Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 OOps sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopelessly_Devoted Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 The Italian Guy knows about the Irish guy and this is when he startedstepping up and asking me out more...We are basically friends, he wantes me to date and he is dating as well. He is no backburner bitch for me at all. We give eachother advice,etc but now he is starting to get jealous,etc so tonight I will talk to him about it. The Irish guy i snot sleeping with anyone else or dating. I really want to be exclusive with him but I do not know how to bring it up to him without looking like a fool... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Jam Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Girl I am dating right now was waaaaaay into me from the start, but I kept the pace slower. I was nice, a gentleman, respectful, manly, BUT I did not just leap into things like she's doing. Just set the pace and lower your guard when you feel ready, but stay in communication and honesty with him. If he likes you enough he'll wait for you, but he needs to know you're into him as well, but aren't ready to get as emotionally invested as he is. Link to post Share on other sites
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