Men don't need women anymore

[Rooster_DAR]

It's sad to see some of the people who get hurt by relationships gone bad. I seem to here a lot of women stating they don't need men anymore. While that is probably true to an extent, I don't think men need women anymore unless they have a specific goal such as children.

 

All you guys who feel lonely and think you need to find misses right, how about finding yourself and embracing a love with yourself instead? If you need sex, find a women to have sex with and then lose her, there are plenty of them out there. If you want someone to share moments at home with, get a dog they are a much better investment plus they are much less complicated than a women.

 

There are tons of women out there now that don't want anything but a sexual relationship, to me this the perfect scenario for the single man. Not only that, but you don't get hit at the pocket book when your marriage goes sour.

 

Cheers!

[Tony T]

The very sad part about what you have written is that there is some truth to it. The absolute dream of every person is to find someone where an equally satisfying relationship is possible, where there is love, sharing, caring, conversation, sex, commitment, forgiveness, shared goals, shared religious views, etc. Oddly, some start out similarly but rarely do they sustain that level of excellence.

 

I think it could be a source of depression of people gave up all hope of ever finding that someone special. I haven't given up hope of winning the lottery. The chances of either are probably the same...the somebody always wins the lottery.

[Lizzie60]

I agree.. some men do not need women.. but you have to agree that men have a harder time living alone than women do.

 

but if someone is independant enough and happy why bother with a partner... who will most probably mess up your life at one point..

[Groovy]

This post just sounds bitter and jaded, like it's easier to quit trying to meet someone and give up then risk being hurt. I see a lot of this and promised myself I would always keep faith that there are still good people to meet, even if my last date wasn't one of them. And trust me, I have dated a lot and been dissapointed.

 

Sexually or financially maybe we do not need people as women or as men. There are other ways to those means. But when you meet someone who makes you a better person, helps you acheive your goals, is a friend at your side and makes you laugh on a bad day it is wonderful!

 

No one should be with someone because their friends are, or their family or the church thinks they need to be wed. But don't be so quick to shut the door to meeting a better half. Enjoy being single and keep options open for other paths in life.

[Tony T]

...No one should be with someone because their friends are, or their family or the church thinks they need to be wed. But don't be so quick to shut the door to meeting a better half. Enjoy being single and keep options open for other paths in life.

 

Very excellent advice. Good points.

 

Everybody's reality is different. Some people have been stung so many times they'd prefer to be out of the game. For those lucky people who still hold out hope, keeping your options open is a wonderful choice.

[marlena]

I like strong and independent people. I think that they display many admirable traits.

 

A person should get married only and if only he/she finds a suitable partner.

 

Never out of fear of loneliness, desperation or need. JMO.

[Ronni_W]

In an ideal world, no adult* would NEED any other adult. We would ALL be connecting for sole (and soul) purpose of enhancing, expanding, supporting and encouraging each other in pursuit of self-defined happiness, peace and success.

 

We would ALL be well-functioning, self-reliant, self-confident individuals with surplus self-esteem and self-worth. In my ideal world.

 

 

*Adults who are able/competent, mentally, emotionally and physically, that is.

[Trialbyfire]

Rooster, if that's where you're at, go for it. When trapped in that mind frame, it's better that you don't try to enter into a relationship because you'll rip someone else's heart out by self-sabotaging anything remotely caring.

 

Men and women don't need each other. Some want the incredible experience of being in love, the give and take required to get there. Sure, there will be bad experiences but it's ultimately your choice to allow those bad experiences to temper or embitter you. I prefer the former, to the life sucking black hole of the latter.

[Tony T]

In an ideal world, no adult* would NEED any other adult. We would ALL be connecting for sole (and soul) purpose of enhancing, expanding, supporting and encouraging each other in pursuit of self-defined happiness, peace and success.

 

Regrettably, in the world today with selfishness and self centeredness abounding, many people who are with a partner are quite alone in reality.

 

I don't think anybody really NEEDS anybody, as romantic as it may sound. I think we all long to partner with somebody who we are happy with and who makes life more joyful...over the long term.

[Ronni_W]

Regrettably, in the world today with selfishness and self centeredness abounding, many people who are with a partner are quite alone in reality.

I know. But I am quite prepared to wait as long as I have to, for my ideal world to become at least a vision in the Collective Unconscious .

[fral945]

I agree.. some men do not need women.. but you have to agree that men have a harder time living alone than women do.

 

I think that is true, but more so for older men. And I think that is changing with the younger generations. There are a growing number of men in my generation (20 somethings) who actually work and cook, clean, iron our own shirts, eat properly and take care of ourselves, etc, and do many of the things that women used to deal with and nag men about in relationships. I look at older men (40s and 50s) and I consider them pretty helpless about a lot of things. I notice they are very dependent on their wives/girlfriends to do household chores, tell them how to eat properly and cook for them, lay out their clothes for work, and basically what I consider mother them. I find there is a lot more co-dependency and defined roles in the relationships of older people. The relationships of my generation tend to have less defined roles and women expect a more egalitarian relationship (though not equal, because they still seem to want the chivalry and romantic benefits).

 

I'll admit sex and physical intimacy is the primary need for me from a woman at this point (although I would like children as well). There is probably some emotional need as well, to be loved. I honestly could care less if a woman holds a job, cooks, cleans, etc. Mainly what I look for is sexual compatibility and accountability (especially financial and being able to maintain a healthy weight long term) on her part. Of course, those requirements right there eliminate a large percentage of the female population. I doubt my grandfather or his father or his father had such high standards and expectations. Life was more fleeting then, they took what they could. I have more options.

 

The bottom line is expectations, requirements, and options for relationships keep going up and most people haven't really changed much to keep up with the expectations and requirements. Marriage and relationships in the past had simpler and more basic motives and were less about romantic and sexual gratification and more about family ties and property. I don't think it's a bad thing but it's obvious why they are more unstable. People won't put up with the BS they used to and hold the other sex to a higher standard of accountability.

 

I don't think we need each other, but all of us feel a need for each other at some point in our lives. I'm not sure I'll find anyone, but I do feel the need to find someone.

[Rooster_DAR]

This post just sounds bitter and jaded, like it's easier to quit trying to meet someone and give up then risk being hurt. I see a lot of this and promised myself I would always keep faith that there are still good people to meet, even if my last date wasn't one of them. And trust me, I have dated a lot and been dissapointed.

 

Sexually or financially maybe we do not need people as women or as men. There are other ways to those means. But when you meet someone who makes you a better person, helps you acheive your goals, is a friend at your side and makes you laugh on a bad day it is wonderful!

 

No one should be with someone because their friends are, or their family or the church thinks they need to be wed. But don't be so quick to shut the door to meeting a better half. Enjoy being single and keep options open for other paths in life.

 

I'm not bitter, I'm a realist and make my observations based on experience. I was not trying to project negative connotations, I was simply trying to state that many men feel like their doomed because they can't find a good woman, and they need to realize that it starts with yourself.

 

Some of these men (including myself) need to take a bit of time off and get comfortable with who they are and establish emotional (as well as others) independence.

 

Perhaps my topic outline was a bit misleading.

[Rooster_DAR]

I like strong and independent people. I think that they display many admirable traits.

 

A person should get married only and if only he/she finds a suitable partner.

 

Never out of fear of loneliness, desperation or need. JMO.

 

 

Exactly my point! I think wayyyy to many people jump from one partner to another because they are not mentally established. One has to know and trust themselves very well before taking on the complex task of any relationship.

 

Cheers!

[carhill]

Reasonable assertion, IMO. I lived alone for 16 years before getting married at 41. If I get a D, I'd have no issues living alone until I'm dead. I don't need a woman to take care of me; never have. I do most of the domestic chores in our M anyway and enjoy it. It's nice to share happiness with a partner. That part would likely be the thing I'd miss, but it wouldn't rule me. So, there are exceptions to the over-40 male rule

[Groovy]

I'm not bitter, I'm a realist and make my observations based on experience. I was not trying to project negative connotations, I was simply trying to state that many men feel like their doomed because they can't find a good woman, and they need to realize that it starts with yourself.

 

Some of these men (including myself) need to take a bit of time off and get comfortable with who they are and establish emotional (as well as others) independence.

 

Perhaps my topic outline was a bit misleading.

 

 

The title did confuse me. I agree, you have to be happy with yourself first. I'm 36 and have never been married or lived with anyone until this month when my BF moved in! It is hard finding someone good hearted and honest. I think anyone who isn't married needs to take a break from the dating game from time to time. Even a year is fine. We all have times we need to get on our feet emotionally, financially or deal with a situtation life throws at us (death, career issues, etc).

 

I'm saying be happy living alone and keep socially active doing things you like with the possibility you may meet someone great down the road. I see too many people my age or older who just work, sleep and live in their house behind closed doors never going out. I have a friend who hasn't dated in 10 years! It sounds like you are approaching this in a smart way though:)

[soserious1]

I totally agree, marriage is basically a farce. I wish my husband had just pumped and dumped me, it would have saved me a bundle of money.

 

I don't think relationships with men are worth the time, effort and in some cases money needed to sustain them, the cost is way too high and the benefits are minimal if any.

 

I far prefer the approach of brutal honesty,tell me you'll bone me occasionally but that you're going to be bored soon and being a man you'll need variety,at that point you can be free to ogle women,surf for porn till your eyes bleed and attempt to bed as many chicas as you like... and I'll be free to withdraw any care taking efforts I've been making on your behalf.

 

I don't expect anything fom men and at this point don't want anything from them either.

[OpenBook]

I think that is true, but more so for older men. And I think that is changing with the younger generations. There are a growing number of men in my generation (20 somethings) who actually work and cook, clean, iron our own shirts, eat properly and take care of ourselves, etc, and do many of the things that women used to deal with and nag men about in relationships. I look at older men (40s and 50s) and I consider them pretty helpless about a lot of things. I notice they are very dependent on their wives/girlfriends to do household chores, tell them how to eat properly and cook for them, lay out their clothes for work, and basically what I consider mother them. I find there is a lot more co-dependency and defined roles in the relationships of older people. The relationships of my generation tend to have less defined roles and women expect a more egalitarian relationship (though not equal, because they still seem to want the chivalry and romantic benefits).

 

Fral, I think you hit the nail on the head. I have found this to be so, so true. The older men I know tend to regard me as fulfilling certain roles; it's a pretty rigid view, and they act so surprised when I do something that's outside that role. For example, my independence actually seems to bother them! They act like it's not the natural order of things... and they try to convince me that I would be better off "settled down" in marriage and my whole life revolved around taking care of a man. [OpenBook shudders.]

 

The younger guys, on the other hand, really dig my independence - and everything else about me for that matter! I don't have to change a thing about myself for them. They don't mind that I hate to cook; they're happy to show off their own cooking skills. It's so refreshing. They're absolutely wonderful!! It will be really interesting to see how they turn out as they age. I bet it will be a far cry from their elder counterparts.

[Rooster_DAR]

I'm saying be happy living alone and keep socially active doing things you like with the possibility you may meet someone great down the road. I see too many people my age or older who just work, sleep and live in their house behind closed doors never going out. I have a friend who hasn't dated in 10 years! It sounds like you are approaching this in a smart way though:)

 

I hear ya. I still very active and go out all the time. I just prefer to just date women with no serious attachments. I've become very comfortable in my own skin, although I have quite a few ladies who want something more. To be honest with myself, I do feel the jaws of loneliness sometimes, but I need more time to know myself first, then maybe I can find someone that has embraced the same values.

[morelaugh]

Why stop at that? Why don’t eliminate all your friends too? You don’t need anyone, do you? Use women when you need them, use your friends when you need them – lead a perfect little selfish life. And good luck with that! I’m sure you’ll end up a happy man.

 

And if you get sick or have a problem of any kind, that kind of attitude will help a lot.

 

Please don’t get me wrong – you have the right to live your life any way you choose. It’s just I doubt it very much this way will make anyone happy.

 

To answer your question – men do need women (and women do need men) from purely biological perspective – to have children. Simple as that. Everything else is just logistics – how to organize life around that primal biological drive. Humans are organized in those small units – called families – to help raising children and to help each other in need.

[morelaugh]

You are completely right about the co-dependency issues – men are definitely not as helpless with the practical things as they used to be. Which is great and you will never have to marry a women just to be able to eat properly and have your shirts ironed.

 

However, I find your expectation rather strange:

 

I'll admit sex and physical intimacy is the primary need for me from a woman at this point (although I would like children as well). There is probably some emotional need as well, to be loved. I honestly could care less if a woman holds a job, cooks, cleans, etc. Mainly what I look for is sexual compatibility and accountability (especially financial and being able to maintain a healthy weight long term) on her part.

So you don’t need a woman, you need a blow doll.

 

Of course, those requirements right there eliminate a large percentage of the female population. I doubt my grandfather or his father or his father had such high standards and expectations. Life was more fleeting then, they took what they could. I have more options.

Yes, your requirements are going to eliminate 100% of normal female population. I can’t imagine a normal healthy woman who would be satisfied with this. Gold diggers come to mind...

 

You want a woman to be only your sex object – don’t be surprised to find out that you are only her wallet or only her green card. Normal, good women worth having would never agree to your terms, unless you lie to them – which would still end in tears on both sides.

[Lovelybird]

I think it is love that carry us on, either we are in love, or hope love in future

[fral945]

You want a woman to be only your sex object

 

No I didn't say that. Although now that I read it I can see how my post came across that way. I did say I also want to start my own family one day and a have loving relationship.

 

The point I was trying to emphasize is that I'm not as dependent on a woman in a relationship as the older generation of men. I don't think men (or women for that matter) of the younger generation are (or will be) as co-dependent or as set in their defined roles as they used to be. And I think that's a good thing. IMO the roles should be defined on an as needed basis and what works for the couple, not based on some archaic beliefs which might have been previously practical or religiously based but are outdated now.

[fral945]

Fral, I think you hit the nail on the head. I have found this to be so, so true. The older men I know tend to regard me as fulfilling certain roles; it's a pretty rigid view, and they act so surprised when I do something that's outside that role. For example, my independence actually seems to bother them! They act like it's not the natural order of things... and they try to convince me that I would be better off "settled down" in marriage and my whole life revolved around taking care of a man. [OpenBook shudders.]

 

I work with a lot of older guys, so I know a little about them.

 

It's funny, when I talk to older married guys I work with they are routinely amazed that I am a single male that can cook my own food, iron my own clothes, maintain a normal weight, etc. It's like they think my life should be falling apart without a female.

 

When I probe them a bit I usually find out that they are pretty lazy when it comes to doing things inside the home. Few of them can cook anything that doesn't come in a box. I actually had a boss whose wife told me she ironed and laid out his clothes every morning for him. At least she didn't dress him.

 

The younger guys, on the other hand, really dig my independence - and everything else about me for that matter! I don't have to change a thing about myself for them. They don't mind that I hate to cook; they're happy to show off their own cooking skills. It's so refreshing. They're absolutely wonderful!! It will be really interesting to see how they turn out as they age. I bet it will be a far cry from their elder counterparts.

 

Yea, I have to admit the damsel in distress doesn't do much for me. I like a decent amount of independence, just not so independent that she doesn't have a need for me. Some co-dependence is ok in my book.

[Rooster_DAR]

Why stop at that? Why don’t eliminate all your friends too? You don’t need anyone, do you? Use women when you need them, use your friends when you need them – lead a perfect little selfish life. And good luck with that! I’m sure you’ll end up a happy man.

 

Wow! did I strike a nerve or what. WTF? are you rattling on about? I never said anything about using women. To me friends and family will always be closer than any personal love relationship will, perhaps someday you will figure this out.

 

To answer your question – men do need women (and women do need men) from purely biological perspective – to have children. Simple as that. Everything else is just logistics – how to organize life around that primal biological drive. Humans are organized in those small units – called families – to help raising children and to help each other in need.

 

You may want to stop skimming through the threads and pay attention more, your last paragraph makes no sense at all. The topic is "men don't need women" but I'm sure you knew that. I also stated that "Unless you want children" then you don't need women so go back and start over, then I'll be glad to respond.

 

Cheers!

[morelaugh]

WTF? are you rattling on about?

I just tried to emphasize that human relationships, even though not biologically necessary, hold very important part in our lives. We don’t need love or friends or relationships, but it is wonderful to have them, they make life worth living.

 

IMHO, relationship between two people is not something that should only be pursued for procreation.

 

I admit I read only your original post and this did sound like using women to me

If you need sex, find a women to have sex with and then lose her,

I appologize if I misunderstood it.

 

I also totally disagree with this:

There are tons of women out there now that don't want anything but a sexual relationship,

There are not nearly as many women who look for sex only as there are men. Be prepared for fierce competition and make sure not to mess up with girls who want something more.