how to approach women

[daZed&confUsed005]

Hi.. i was just wondering if you guys could give me some tips as to how to approach a girl at parties and flirt with them (especially if you don't know the gal).. Also, how to stick out from the rest of the pack.

 

i would like both guys and gals to give me a advise on how to do so.. thanks

[Rooster_DAR]

Hi.. i was just wondering if you guys could give me some tips as to how to approach a girl at parties and flirt with them (especially if you don't know the gal).. Also, how to stick out from the rest of the pack.

 

i would like both guys and gals to give me a advise on how to do so.. thanks

 

Be yourself is the first thing, and show your sense of humor. Sometimes it's a little risky, but women usually like men who don't care what people think about them as long as they are confident. Don't be to catering though, if you make yourself to available it will bite you in the a$$. Take your time and be comfortable being yourself, a good person will come along eventually.

 

Good luck,

[Taramere]

i would like both guys and gals to give me a advise on how to do so.. thanks

 

There's lots of advice out there on the art of seducing women - but there are (as with everything) drawbacks. While some techniques strike me as making sense psychologically, they're pretty well known. If your approach results in a woman thinking "here we go. I'm being negged." or "freezing me out to teach me a lesson, eh? Bye then..." you're going to look cheesy and she's might see you as an idiot who's insulting her intelligence by assuming she won't know what you're up to."

 

Which is part of what must make it so difficult for men to approach women. Reading a few books on pick-up artistry isn't necessarily a substitute for growing up absorbed (as women often are) in the dynamics of human relationships and interactions, but if it increases male awareness as to how to create a good social/flirtatious interaction then I think that's generally more of a good thing than a bad thing. The notion of men manipulating women with these techniques is unpleasant, but I think a lot of men out there are less interested in becoming Lotharios with 1,000 notches on the bed post - more interested in just finding a woman they click with.

 

There's absolutely no way you can expect to be given a fail-proof technique in chatting a woman up and getting her interest...but there are certain things you can do which will probably make the exchange more interesting - and the PUA books going around will no doubt list some of them. Confidence and practice are probably the main things. A rejection might not feel nice, but it'll teach you something about yourself....and the better equipped you become to handle rejectionand move on from it, the more successful you're liable to be in the long term.

 

Female views probably vary widely on this, but mine is that PUA approaches won't necessarily get you the most gorgeous woman in the bar (despite all the "any woman you want" sales promo) unless you bring a lot more than talk to the table - but they're more likely to get you talking more easily to women....and to be more attractive to those who are on a similar level (eg intellectually and in terms of social confidence) to you.

 

If a woman likes you, even while she might recognise some of the pick up techniques you're applying, she'll respond to you...though not necessarily in accordance with a scripted approach. Which is why it's rarely as easy as men probably think it should be.

[ed-205]

Go to the Wikipedia, and search for "flirting". I'm serious! It actually explains it pretty well.

[daZed&confUsed005]

thank you that was very helpful.. embarassed to say that i have read a couple of books but they all seem pretty fictional to me with lots of stereotypes.. ur right confidence is key.. i got that down.. but rejection is something that scares me the most idk way.. maybe cause my ego and pride is too big.. guess i will have to work on that ..

[monkey00]

confidence and being yourself goes a long way. that is of course if you know who you are and is comfortable with yourself. It really shines through.

 

I know it sounds like really broad advice or advice that isn't specific to techniques or picking up women/approaching. Or what you're really in search of here. But you'll realize the truth to it when confidence in yourself manifests.

 

Confidence affects everything about you, including those subtle little body languages that women are great at picking up. The way you stand, talk, walk, speak, smile, carry yourself, your personality, the way you're with people.

 

Don't forget to dress well and practice good hygiene.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Brush and floss your teeth

[D-Lish]

first and foremost- look for the green light.

If a woman is interested in having you approach her- she'll make eye contact and smile.

 

If you get this clue- that's a go-ahead to approach.

 

Saying "hi how are you" works...

[Taramere]

thank you that was very helpful.. embarassed to say that i have read a couple of books but they all seem pretty fictional to me with lots of stereotypes.. ur right confidence is key.. i got that down.. but rejection is something that scares me the most idk way.. maybe cause my ego and pride is too big.. guess i will have to work on that ..

 

Don't forget that a lot of us are practically programmed to give "back off" messages as a self-protecting mechanism - so if you don't get a welcoming response from a woman you're trying to chat up, although it's a good idea to back off (or withdraw altogether if you're really getting a bad feeling from her), it's not necessarily a rejection of you. It might just be the way she is. From the other side of the fence, it can take some effort and practice to not give out those "stay away" messages as a knee jerk reaction to being approached.

 

As you've read some of those books, you'll know about some of the popular techniques. Take the "focus your attention on the friend of a woman you're interested in, to arouse the interest, competitive spirit and "why isn't he paying attention to me?" confusion of the other woman. That's how a PUA perceives the mental processes of the woman he's ultimately targeting.

 

In some cases he might well be right - but it could also be that by not immediately paying attention to the other woman, he's giving her a bit of time and space to suss him out a bit and develop interest. On the other hand, if the women are close friends then the one you're ignoring might decide she should withdraw in order to give her friend a bit of space to be chatted up. I doubt many people would want to spoil a genuine friend's night or undermine her confidence by jumping into the limelight in that situation.

 

So the safest option might be to figure out whether you and the woman you're interested in have any mutual friends, and use that as an opportunity to do a bit of subtle showing off in front of her - whereby you can avoid focusing too much on her, but acknowledge her sufficiently to keep her in the conversation. Subtly keeping an eye out for signals that she's developing an interest in you, and gradually building up the attention you give her as you see that interest (watching you as you speak, smiling a lot) building up.

 

Men think they have to entertain women, but we like to think we can be entertaining too. Laughing at something she says gives you an opportunity to lightly and playfully touch her on the arm. Hopefully that response will come naturally if you're developing a good rapport with her. If she moves closer to you, increase the frequency and duration of these playful touches until the point where you can move closer into her personal space and turn the light, playful touches into light strokes that tell her "I'm sexually interested in you."

 

What you're talking about at this stage isn't necessarily important. You don't need to be bowling her over with your incredible wit. The more important thing is that you're creating and building on physical chemistry - which involves reading her reactions to little signs of interest that you give her, and building up from there according to whether (as D-lish says) she's giving you the green light.

[NWSTRT2121]

Don't forget that a lot of us are practically programmed to give "back off" messages as a self-protecting mechanism - so if you don't get a welcoming response from a woman you're trying to chat up, although it's a good idea to back off (or withdraw altogether if you're really getting a bad feeling from her), it's not necessarily a rejection of you. It might just be the way she is. From the other side of the fence, it can take some effort and practice to not give out those "stay away" messages as a knee jerk reaction to being approached.

 

As you've read some of those books, you'll know about some of the popular techniques. Take the "focus your attention on the friend of a woman you're interested in, to arouse the interest, competitive spirit and "why isn't he paying attention to me?" confusion of the other woman. That's how a PUA perceives the mental processes of the woman he's ultimately targeting.

 

In some cases he might well be right - but it could also be that by not immediately paying attention to the other woman, he's giving her a bit of time and space to suss him out a bit and develop interest. On the other hand, if the women are close friends then the one you're ignoring might decide she should withdraw in order to give her friend a bit of space to be chatted up. I doubt many people would want to spoil a genuine friend's night or undermine her confidence by jumping into the limelight in that situation.

 

So the safest option might be to figure out whether you and the woman you're interested in have any mutual friends, and use that as an opportunity to do a bit of subtle showing off in front of her - whereby you can avoid focusing too much on her, but acknowledge her sufficiently to keep her in the conversation. Subtly keeping an eye out for signals that she's developing an interest in you, and gradually building up the attention you give her as you see that interest (watching you as you speak, smiling a lot) building up.

 

Men think they have to entertain women, but we like to think we can be entertaining too. Laughing at something she says gives you an opportunity to lightly and playfully touch her on the arm. Hopefully that response will come naturally if you're developing a good rapport with her. If she moves closer to you, increase the frequency and duration of these playful touches until the point where you can move closer into her personal space and turn the light, playful touches into light strokes that tell her "I'm sexually interested in you."

 

What you're talking about at this stage isn't necessarily important. You don't need to be bowling her over with your incredible wit. The more important thing is that you're creating and building on physical chemistry - which involves reading her reactions to little signs of interest that you give her, and building up from there according to whether (as D-lish says) she's giving you the green light.

 

Have you thought about writing your own book on the subject I would buy it lol!