college girl Posted March 28, 2000 Share Posted March 28, 2000 My boyfriend and my 4 year anniversary is coming up this week. For about two months prior to this and especially this week he's been freaking out about "how long 4 years is". I've tried discussing why he feels like this, but I think I might be making it worse by talking w/ him about it. We've been dating since high school and all throughout his college career. We both go to the same college and moved from the same home town. We are best friends which is why I don't understand what the big deal is w/ how long we've been together. Things are good--or at least I thought they were. I think he's feeling the "real world" pressure w/ his upcoming graduation. But why does 4 years freak him out? Is he going to freak out every anniversary now, because time will only increase? I feel like I can't really enjoy our anniversary, because he's so scared of it. He's even talked w/ me about telling people we've only been together 2 years instead of 4 (because the 2 years we were long distance "don't count"). I'm kind of scared of what he might really be feeling. Do you think he wants to see other people? Am I suffocating him? We really do have a wonderful relationship. He treats me soo good and I'm there when he needs me. How can I comfort him w/ this 4 year issue and make our anniversary something he'll enjoy instead of dread? Please help--I love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Nicky Posted March 28, 2000 Share Posted March 28, 2000 My boyfriend and my 4 year anniversary is coming up this week. For about two months prior to this and especially this week he's been freaking out about "how long 4 years is". I've tried discussing why he feels like this, but I think I might be making it worse by talking w/ him about it. We've been dating since high school and all throughout his college career. We both go to the same college and moved from the same home town. We are best friends which is why I don't understand what the big deal is w/ how long we've been together. Things are good--or at least I thought they were. I think he's feeling the "real world" pressure w/ his upcoming graduation. But why does 4 years freak him out? Is he going to freak out every anniversary now, because time will only increase? I feel like I can't really enjoy our anniversary, because he's so scared of it. He's even talked w/ me about telling people we've only been together 2 years instead of 4 (because the 2 years we were long distance "don't count"). I'm kind of scared of what he might really be feeling. Do you think he wants to see other people? Am I suffocating him? We really do have a wonderful relationship. He treats me soo good and I'm there when he needs me. How can I comfort him w/ this 4 year issue and make our anniversary something he'll enjoy instead of dread? Please help--I love him. Hi there, I think you should be scared of what he feels. With the right person, I can only imagine feeling pride and happiness if I reached the 4yr mark. You've weathered the storms and still together. That's great. It sounds like he may be reflecting on where he wants his life to go, and may feel in a bit of a rut. I suspect if he doesn't want to discuss it, it's because he doesn't have anything pleasant to say. Maybe the thought's suddenly hit him, that soon 4 yrs will be 6, and 6 will be 8, and does he really want to be with you. As his friend you should only really want the best for him. It's important that you are both very honest with each other about what you want. There is absolutely no point in living lies, and being in relationships which somebody no longer wants. It's not fair to either of you, and you owe it to each other as best friends and partners. So, I think it's time for a talk! This has to be discussed in case anything is there. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
J Posted March 28, 2000 Share Posted March 28, 2000 I have a question. Doesn't it make you wonder why he wants to deny 2 of the 4 years you have been together? Anybody who really loves Link to post Share on other sites
Losing It Posted March 28, 2000 Share Posted March 28, 2000 Sorry that you are having a little trouble. If you read what I posted yesterday under Boyfriend: Losing It you might feel a little better. My advice - take a couple of days off and enjoy yourself, try and find yourself (not a month like I did). Four years is a long time - look at all the things would learn and do in four years. My boyfriend and I always joke that we are getting old and its almost time for a 2000 model. Don't take it so serious - unless his behavior and attitude towards you and "hanging out with you" changes. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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