feel like I'm in a dark hole with no way out ..

[janedoe123]

I have posted before and it was a long time ago. About a year at least. Now a year later, I have issues with the same man.

 

I will try to make it short.

 

A year ago I was going through hell with someone I thought was the one, he was an awful person and kept treating me horrible. Around my birthday we had gotten back together and the morning after my birthday I found him in bed with another girl. Well, they started dating. He moved in with her and things seemed to be fine. About 6 months ago he came back to me, told me all about doing drugs and he was so messed up and I was the only person he could see himself being with and for about 5 months he was nothing short of perfect. I was very unsure of giving him another chance but was letting him back in my life.

 

About a month and a half ago I found out I was pregnant and he flipped out on me telling me he wanted nothing to do with me. he wouldn't talk to me, and literally would yell at me any time we talked. I was so confused.

 

About 3 weeks ago I found out he was back with the ex girl.

 

I ended up getting an abortion - don't think it's because I agree or disagree with what I did, I'm still struggling, but it was the right choice because I could never bring a child up in that atmosphere.

 

2 nights ago I saw him at a wedding with all of our friends, and he was on drugs.

 

There is so much more - but I wanted to get the gist of it down so that ANYONE could comment on it. I'm having such a hard time. I really do need help, I feel as though I'm going in circles and i just don't understand.

 

He says he is happy with her again and that he couldn't be better ... what is wrong with me? Why do I care so much about him and what he's doing and HOW do I let go after such a messy situation? I know it may not sound that bad but I seriously feel like I am dying inside.

 

So now - was he cheating on me the whole time? Is he and was he back into drugs? Are all men going to leave me for another girL? Is he some sort of bipolar? I have so many questions and right now I feel like I am in a hole, a dark hole, with no way out and no one to turn to ....

[Javelin]

I'm truly sorry for what you've been through, but to answer one of your more important questions:

 

Are all men going to leave me for another girl?

 

No, not all of us are like that. Basically, you just have to find the right guy! I will admit, it's tough trying to place the good from bad, but it's possible.

 

As for your other questions, yes to them all..

 

( On phone, will post more shortly.. )

[You'reasian]

Like every other post here, if your guy has a drug problem you need to confront him about it, get him tested - in writing and get the guy some drug counselling.

 

About cheating? Find a nice, good guy. period. If you put yourself in a position to meet a bad guy, then you need to reconsider how you are meeting people.

 

Women want the bad boy and that might be fun, but if you're looking for a sustainable, monogamous relationship you need to be with a good guy.

 

Your behavior needs to also be congruent - that is you need to be in the position of being a good girl.

 

Good luck!

[sweet&simple]

I really think you should look into getting yourself some therapy. I don't think some of the things you've gone through are going to go away by themselves, and getting the extra support and insight by a professional may help you not only get over this situation, but help you a lot in future relationships.

 

This guy.. doesn't seem like a good guy at all. The drugs, the cheating.. it's all bad news. He's probably an excellent liar too given he's done all of this and been the "model boyfriend," to you for about 5 months. I wouldn't believe anything he says, and I'd stop worrying about him.

 

It's time to let go.. I know it's hard, but.. trust me, you deserve a LOT better and there's a LOT better out there waiting for you.