Kinda coonfused :\

[scottk51]

Not too long ago, my ex gf and i broke up. It hurt me a bit and i had the longest time seeing girls in the same way i saw her in, and i didnt think i'd find someone that would catch my interest like her. About two weeks ago i met this one girl, and i pretty quickly found the same physical attraction as i did to my ex, which was something i didnt think i'd find again. It surprised me, and excited me at the same time bc i finally thought i was going to find some happiness in a girl again.

 

After talking to her and getting to know her a bit, i found out she had a bf. It kinda downsized everything but i still was interested in her. She told me she wants a friendship, but every now and then i'll get texts initiating flirting and ill go along with it. We'll talk early and late into the night and actually have plans to hang out all day and night this upcoming friday. She told me their relationship constantly goes through ups and downs and she sometimes doesnt know who to turn to. Not to sound like a creep but it made me feel semi good bc now i can be there for her when the time's bad.

 

I'm just confused what to do? Any help and suggestions will be appreciated

[norajane]

She told me their relationship constantly goes through ups and downs and she sometimes doesnt know who to turn to. Not to sound like a creep but it made me feel semi good bc now i can be there for her when the time's bad.

 

I'm just confused what to do? Any help and suggestions will be appreciated

 

I'm sorry that you're not going to like what I say, but you really have to step back and stop this immediately.

 

This girl is using you. When she's in a 'down' with her bf, she turns to other guys to make her feel better, and then she drops them when things go back 'up' with her bf. You just happen to be the guy she's going to use for attention and affection and fun this time. But she will drop you, too.

 

And even if you don't believe that, think about what she's doing. She is willing to talk until all hours of the night with you, under the guise of frienship. She thinks it's ok to turn to another guy even though she has a bf. I'll bet her bf would NOT agree that it's ok. And I'll bet that YOU would not like it if she were your gf and started talking to some otehr guy until all hourse of the night. A girl who does that sort of thing is NOT the kind of girl you want to fall for.

 

And even if you don't believe that she'd ever turn it around on you, then believe this: Don't mess in other people's relationships. Don't go down that road. You'll always end up regretting it, for one reason or another.

[whichwayisup]

Don't be that guy she can come to when she needs an ego boost.. That's not friendship.

 

Honestly, I would tell her you like her but don't want to get involved (like flirt and get close) until she breaks it off with her boyfriend. Don't put yourself in the line of fire where you could get too attached to her and get hurt.

 

Also it wasn't that long ago you and your ex broke up, so you're not over her either. You're kind of vunerable so don't allow yourself to be second fiddle to someone else.

[scottk51]

Alright thanks for the advice guys. She actually hasnt come to me yet bc of her boyfriend and hers problems, if anything she kinda isolates herself a bit. I'm kinda just keeping it cool and just being the friend, i just wanted to get it off my chest that i do kinda like her and its the first time ive rkinda felt like this since my last ex.

[norajane]

Alright thanks for the advice guys. She actually hasnt come to me yet bc of her boyfriend and hers problems, if anything she kinda isolates herself a bit. I'm kinda just keeping it cool and just being the friend, i just wanted to get it off my chest that i do kinda like her and its the first time ive rkinda felt like this since my last ex.

 

No, actually she is turning to you:

 

every now and then i'll get texts initiating flirting and ill go along with it. We'll talk early and late into the night and actually have plans to hang out all day and night this upcoming friday.

Hanging out all day and night on Friday is her stepping over the boundaries. She has a bf and he would not like her spending a day and night with another guy. And she knows it. And you need to recognize it.

 

Just because your spark has been lit again, doesn't mean you need to set your sights on this girl. You've woken up, great. Now open your eyes and look around for a girl who is not seeing someone else and ask her out.