Anyone have a revenge affair with MP spouse?

[signedin2008]

2Long,

 

Do you ever dream or picture yourself fall in love with a woman that have and will never cheat on you?

[Trimmer]

... 2uestion ....

Oh, that one was a bit of a s2retch.....

[Lorenzo76]

First to settle the debate on what part my lawyer played in my false reconcilation. He gave me my options. It would be in my best interest to wait and file for a divorce. D-day was in June. She does not graduate until December. My lawyer knew I had no intention of taking my stbx back but it's not like he sat there and gave me tips on how to string her along. I did that all on my own. I am paying him to look out for my best interest and all the advice legal advice I have gotten from him is what he considers to be in my best interest. He's doing his job.

 

As for an update. My stbx finally came home playing the victim. I had to remind her yet again she has no right to judge me. There was no point in fighting with her. I packed a bag and left the house and went to my parents. They are gone right now and won't be back until TG.

 

I was sorting through their mail to forward to them and I find a letter from OM. That ****er wrote a letter to my parents. Now I will have to tell them sooner rather than later. They are going to give me so much hell. I asked the rest of the family not to tell them anything as not to interrupt their vacation. He does not need to go crying to my family. They have nothing to do with this.

 

Now that OW and I are now single we have been trying to have a real relationship by dating. We are not rubbing in our spouses face. We are being discreet. The OM is not making this easy for us. He is going to fight for his marriage. I can't say I blame him. OW is an amazing woman and he realizes what he has lost by getting involved with my stbx.

 

Ironically he is calling me a chicken **** for not talking to him. I have no desire to gloat to him so what is the point of talking to him? Everything is different now. I have absolutely nothing to say to him.

 

My lawyer has advised me never to be alone with my stbx. He says after the stunt I pulled she might try and get me arrested on false charges of domestic violence. I am going to heed his advice.

 

My lawyer says there is no point in waiting until December anymore to file so I started divorce proceedings. My stbx could be served at anytime. I am now protected should she decide to run up a bunch of bills out of spite. I am monitoring my credit report very closely.

 

I have been under a lot of stress but I suppose it could be a lot worse. I could be in OM position losing the woman I love. You know if he had not messed with my life I might actually feel sorry for the pos but I don't.

 

I believe I actually did OM a favor in the long run. He will think twice before sleeping with someone elses wife. If he gets married again I think there is a good chance he will be faithful to his future wife. I wish it was not me that taught him that lesson but it's one he needed to learn.

[pkn06002]

Oh this story just keeps getting better and better!

 

I particularly like the

 

"Now that OW and I are now single"

 

sorry dude you are still married you are NOT single.

 

Also like how you posted you intercepted mail, not intended for you. Did you keep the letter or did you leave it on the pile?

[Lorenzo76]

Also like how you posted you intercepted mail, not intended for you. Did you keep the letter or did you leave it on the pile?

 

My parents will get the letter along with all their other mail when I forward it to them. It just means that I will have to tell them sooner than I had planned. Since OM can't leave my family out of this I am going to have to put a damper on their vacation. Knowing them they will be on the first plane out and tell me how I ****ed up my life. At the end of the day they will support whatever decision I make. That does not mean they will not give me hell. My dad is a Southern Baptist and my mom is Catholic. I dread telling them.

 

sorry dude you are still married you are NOT single.

 

In my heart I am divorced so I consider myself single.

[pkn06002]

In my heart I am divorced so I consider myself single.

 

Said like a true wayward spouse.

[signedin2008]

I don't understand why you guys are giving Lorenzo such a hard time. If his wife didn't cheat on him and if the OM didn't cause the pain to Lorenzo, I don't think he would have done what he did. I don't even think Lorenzo would have slept with anyone's wife other than this OM's (correct me if I am wrong).

 

There are tons of OWs and OMs who are wrecking homes on this site and some of you are here posting attacking Lorenzo instead of them.

 

Lorenzo, if your parents knew about your wife's betrayal, they should be on your side. Just tell them how hurt you were by her cheating and that you still are. They are your parents, they will be there for you (as the way you described them).

[trubella]

Good luck.

-ol' 2long

P.S. I'm starting 2 wonder, again, if this is a story. Nobody is really that despicable, are they?

 

judgemental much? lol i dont understand the hatred towards the OP either, i say whatever works for you lorenzo. seems like the OM is getting a taste of his own medicine now.

[Reggie]

I agree. You should let your parents know the circumstances leading up to your affai. I doubt they will judge you as harshly.

As for considering yourself single after discovery, I can understand it. The contract was already materially breached. Essentially, once it was broken by your wife's cheating , it was null and void. All bets were off at that point.

I really do not think what you did was all that wrong. Your wife cheated and she deserves to be treated the same way. She opened a Pandora's box.

I know I would not have handled thingas you have, But, I see nothing terrible about this. May not be PC but that's my view.

[pelicanpreacher]

As for an update. My stbx finally came home playing the victim. I had to remind her yet again she has no right to judge me. There was no point in fighting with her. I packed a bag and left the house and went to my parents. They are gone right now and won't be back until TG.

 

I was sorting through their mail to forward to them and I find a letter from OM. That ****er wrote a letter to my parents. Now I will have to tell them sooner rather than later. They are going to give me so much hell. I asked the rest of the family not to tell them anything as not to interrupt their vacation. He does not need to go crying to my family. They have nothing to do with this.

 

Now that OW and I are now single we have been trying to have a real relationship by dating. We are not rubbing in our spouses face. We are being discreet. The OM is not making this easy for us. He is going to fight for his marriage. I can't say I blame him. OW is an amazing woman and he realizes what he has lost by getting involved with my stbx.

 

Ironically he is calling me a chicken **** for not talking to him. I have no desire to gloat to him so what is the point of talking to him? Everything is different now. I have absolutely nothing to say to him.

 

My lawyer has advised me never to be alone with my stbx. He says after the stunt I pulled she might try and get me arrested on false charges of domestic violence. I am going to heed his advice.

 

My lawyer says there is no point in waiting until December anymore to file so I started divorce proceedings. My stbx could be served at anytime. I am now protected should she decide to run up a bunch of bills out of spite. I am monitoring my credit report very closely.

 

I have been under a lot of stress but I suppose it could be a lot worse. I could be in OM position losing the woman I love. You know if he had not messed with my life I might actually feel sorry for the pos but I don't.

 

I believe I actually did OM a favor in the long run. He will think twice before sleeping with someone elses wife. If he gets married again I think there is a good chance he will be faithful to his future wife. I wish it was not me that taught him that lesson but it's one he needed to learn.

 

My parents will get the letter along with all their other mail when I forward it to them. It just means that I will have to tell them sooner than I had planned. Since OM can't leave my family out of this I am going to have to put a damper on their vacation. Knowing them they will be on the first plane out and tell me how I ****ed up my life. At the end of the day they will support whatever decision I make. That does not mean they will not give me hell. My dad is a Southern Baptist and my mom is Catholic. I dread telling them.

 

Ya know, I predicted this at the outset (albiet the OM busted the affair instead of your wife) for it always seems that cheaters become supervigillent about the activities of their spouse because they know all the red flags to look for. Now all your well laid plans to strip your wife financially bare during the divorce lay in ruins. Add to this, I sense a bit of uncertainty for your OW who you don't want to leave her marriage on account of you which opens another can of worms as to your intentions for a longterm commitment with this woman. You've also got to deal with the exposure of your affair because of a campaign orchestrated by the OM to tell all your family members, friends, and business associates who you know will be shocked, displeased, and disgusted by your actions. The question that still begs though, is what about your son who seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle of this pathetic melodrama. Do you still believe he's still happy and proud of his dear old dad now that its all out or is he as self-absorbed as you are and doesn't have a clue?!

 

You say you're stessed now but, buddy, you haven't seen nothin yet for the road you chose is not only bumpy and rough it also ends abruptly at the cliff's end! You'll understand what I mean when all the dust has finally settled.

[Reggie]

I rather doubt this will have any impact, financially. His wife is still almost done with her schooling and will be capable of earning a living. The fact that she has not quite yet graduated makes little difference, big picturewise.

[Trimmer]

judgemental much? lol i dont understand the hatred towards the OP either, i say whatever works for you lorenzo.

Ahhh, indeed. And if it really were "working for him," and if the only people directly affected were the 4 adults who all consciously made their own bad choices, then I might be willing to just shake my head and chuckle and not care.

 

But how's it really working for him? He's under a lot of extra stress that he brought on himself, he's confused about the emotional relationship he has started when that wasn't part of the original plan, he's essentially forfeited the "no alimony" plan he originally had in place and is now having to take care to protect himself and guard against possible false domestic violence complaints, credit revenge by his wife, etc., his parents are now involved in a way that he is dreading, etc....

 

So yeah, as long as it's working for him, it's all cool then.

 

The question that still begs though, is what about your son who seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle of this pathetic melodrama. Do you still believe he's still happy and proud of his dear old dad now that its all out or is he as self-absorbed as you are and doesn't have a clue?!

...and that's the major factor that brings it home for me, too. If it had been just the 4 adults, making their stupid, genital-driven decisions, then I would say "whatever." Heck, in that case, I'd probably say, tell his parents to piss off, it's his business.

 

But the OP is the one of those 4 who could have, should have had the responsibility, the decent parenting sense, the class, to think about the effect on his child, and at least let that one factor ground him and keep him somewhat sane. But even that wasn't enough.

 

But as long as it's working for him, I suppose that doesn't matter.

[Owl]

I think this all sounds rather hilarious to me.

 

I find it funny as heck that Lorenzo is offended at OM writing a letter to his parents and angry that he's "involving his family".

 

As someone else said...this is all "spoken like a true wayward".

 

The most humerous thing in all of this is that Lorenzo IS totally following the "wayward script". He's saying all the same things, doing all the same actions that OM and his wife took...only now...he's all offended and upset when they fight those actions and when people "judge" him for being an affair.

 

Just shows you how "on the money" that script well and truly is.

 

There is NOTHING that makes Lorenzo's affair any less cheesy than any other one around here...worse in fact, given the motivations that started it and keep it going.

 

I really hope he keeps posting here whent he whole thing crashes. That'll be interesting to see.

[pelicanpreacher]

To paraphrase Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption ..."It's always refreshing to find a man willing to indulge so deeply in his own emotions"!

[Lorenzo76]

My son knows that my stbx and I are getting a divorce. He does not know about either of our affairs. His mother and I share joint custody (50/50). Like I mentioned before he has a good relationship with my stbx but she is not his mother. He is not in dispair because we are getting divorced. He asked me if there was any chance we could work it out and I said no. He asked if he could still see her and I told him yes. He asked why we split up and I told him we both made mistakes and that they are adult issues and not to worry about it. I handled it the best I could. I asked my ex to keep him during my time until I got my living situation settled. My ex and her husband have been very supportive. They don't approve of my behavior but I believe they are sympathetic.

 

I called up my parents and was all prepared to tell them about what happened. I first told them I had filed for a divorce and was staying at their house. They were very supportive. I then told them that OM wrote them a letter. My dad was pissed at first that OM would dare send them a letter so I explained everything that happened. He said sleeping with a married person was wrong and I had no right to do such a thing no matter the circumstances. He went on and on how I was sinning against god and they raised me better. I tried to explain to him the world is not black and white. I am not the kind of man that can turn the other cheek and be **** on.

 

He told me I needed to end my relationship with OW. I informed him I could not do that. He said I will end my relationship with her. I reminded him that I was 32 years old and he could not tell me who I could sleep with. He said he did not care if I was 100 if it takes him to the day he dies he will break up my affair and I will be right with god again. I told him he was wasting his time. He said it was his time to waste.

 

They support my divorce 100% but will not support my relationship with OW. They think I have lost my mind. They have decided to "save me" and fly back home. I knew that would happen. That OM is such a ****ing little bitch. He can't win back his wife on his own so he cries to my parents.

 

Now I regret telling them about his stupid letter. I should have thrown it in the trash.

[pkn06002]

Well welcome to the Wayward side (big hug).

[pelicanpreacher]

And the hits just keep on coming!

[Reggie]

Just a really bizzare story.

[signedin2008]

Your dad sounds like a very good man.

 

What did your mom say or feel about this?

 

Do you have any siblings? And, what did they say?

[pelicanpreacher]

It's my bet that the OM will eventually attempt to make contact with your son to divulge his spin on your affair for he seems like someone who would stoop to that level to ensure your pain!

[pelicanpreacher]

To paraphrase Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption ..."It's always refreshing to find a man willing to indulge so deeply in his own emotions"!

 

Edit: Oops, that was the movie Seven with Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt! LOL!

[NewSunrise]

Your father should've smacked you with his Baptist hand and your Catholic mother should've knocked you in the head with the Bible. And the angels in Heaven would have been singing in rejoice.

 

Life's is full of sh*t sometimes. But no sh*t is fuller than this one. BTW, there is NEVER a "perfect" plan. Yet you actually thought that screwing the OM's W was perfect. Well, you get that teeny part right. As for the rest? Guess you'll be swinging it from here on, hoping to dodge more sh*t especially from you stbxw.

 

You may think you've outsmarted your stbxw, but I doubt she's going to lay there and let you bulldoze over her financially. I think part of your thread yells out the word "REVENGE", doesn't? And you're in a "no fault" state, right?

 

Well, good luck, buddy. In your mind, she may have been at "fault", but since you've "even" the score by doing the same thing when all the while she thought there was a "possibility" of a reconcillation, the game ain't over.

 

Just because she's getting her master's in Dec doesn't mean didly squat if she's UNEMPLOYED. She may seek temporary spousal support pending trial or mediation based on combined income and her monthly expenses PLUS a portion of her attorney's fees compliments of yours truly, her stbxh. And if her lawyer is better than yours and depending which courthouse D is filed within your County if there is one or more courthouses, that too, can determine the outcome of your D. Don't even think about hiding your assets or understate any of it.

 

Oh, by the way, since you also emotionally screwed the OW if you opt out on her, too, you'll have her boiling in revenge.

 

Revenge...<<<sigh>>> never pays off, does it?

 

PS. I once thought of revenge against my xWS. I thought of posting his picture on a billboard on major freeways. But he wasn't worth the effort, time and money. I kicked him out, instead. I'm happy. He's miserable, broke, and may lose his job. His OW may end up supporting him. Now, this is sweet revenge.

 

This thread is getting better well deserving an appearance on Jerry Spring.

[Reggie]

Again, I seriously doubt any of this weirdness is going to have an effect on the divorce settlement. It's all numbers, a formula in no fault states. No fault for her infidelity, no fault for his. Just crank the incomes into the formula, look at the duration of the marriage and her future earning potential and it comes out the same, regardless of who screwed who.

[NewSunrise]

Agree that D in no fault state is all numbers. Lorenzo is estimating spousal/alimony support based on his stbxw's employment in December. Her employment status and their community assets are unknown. He's made a point of gloating when it comes to protecting his $$$ n a community property, no fault state. Ten years or more of M is considered long term and W could be awarded alimony, if not, at least spousal support for half of their M, not to mention half of everything that they own, acquired or accrued during their M regardless of who bought it is deemed community property.

 

If the W's income is much less than his, and if she retains a good lawyer, a portion of her attorney's fees may be paid by him, as it was in my case when I went through my D with xWS.

 

Had he not acted on his revenge, he might've accomplished the same end result, a divorce, using a paralegal. Most inexpensive and civil way to end a marriage where both parties come to an agreement to the division of community property. BUT, the minute he fulfilled his fantasy, any adult like behavior went out the window along with the the dishes thrown at him by his stbxw. Paralagela might have only cost them under $2K if they did most of the legwork. With average lawyer fees at $250-350/hr he'll burn the $2K in no time. But, I'm sure he's probably aware of that by now.

[Lorenzo76]

Your dad sounds like a very good man.

 

What did your mom say or feel about this?

 

Do you have any siblings? And, what did they say?

 

My mom thinks if I died today I will go straight to hell. It would not shock me at all if she went to the nearest Catholic church and started praying for my soul.

 

I have 3 siblings. I have my twin and he thinks that I need to be alone and get my life together. He just shakes his head in disapproval. My other brother thinks the whole thing is funny as hell and admires me for what I have done. All my sister has said is that what I am doing is wrong and she wants me to be happy.