Anyone have a revenge affair with MP spouse?

[Hey]

Yes I did sleep with her H,I told my H and I told her about it.

 

My H did stay with me I basically would tell him when he cheated on me and I stayed with him he basically gave me a free ticked to cheat,I told him when I cash in that ticket is up to me.

 

My H stayed with me,will your W stay with you well that is a gamble you will have to take.

 

I did not feel bad for OW or my H,as crazy as it sounds it did make me feel better afterwards.

 

I was hurt,humiliated the thought of them two having sex disgusted me I wanted them to feel what they made me feel,the tears that they seen on my face was not enough I wanted to see them hurt,tearful,humiliated the only way for that was to sleep with her H so I did.

 

Yes I rubbed it in her face I basically called her up and told her we're even.

 

I told my husband the same thing and of course I reminded him that I stayed with him after finding out of his affair it has been 4 months since my revenge and my husband and I are still together.

 

Another thing when I decided tostay with my H I told him that I am struggling with getting revenge on him and OW and this is something he needs to accept,I guess he never thought I would do it

[Darth Vader]

lorenzo, on the other hand you could end up having a happy life with this woman. Never know. Dont count it out.

 

You will never get the thought of your wife ****ing this guy out of your head, I guarantee that.

 

 

From the looks of it, he won't be able to get this OW's orgasms out of his head either! Just curious though, are you concerned that the OM may try to kill you if he knew that his wife was RIDING you hard? I know he banged your wife and all, make no mistake, but, cheaters can hardly take their own medicine! They can dish it out, but, they can't take it!

[Darth Vader]

I was in that situation my husband had a affair on me,I was feeling horrible bitter angry I thought the only way I could get over it was to cheat on him but I wanted to cheat on him with the OW husband.

 

The way I seenit I had a free ticket to cheat and it was up to me when to cash in that ticket.

 

I know EXACTLY how you feel I can relate I felt like the only way I can go on and get over it was to cheat I wanted to make them feel the way they made me feel and the only way to do it was to sleep with her H.

 

We are all different some people may get revenge and do an act like this and other's will just go on with their life.

 

I think you should do it I know people say 2 wrongs don't make a right,but if you feel it will make you feel better got for it.

 

 

So...... Did you cheat on your hubby?

[Darth Vader]

Look, don't get to attached because right now her(ow) emotions are through the roof and she may even believe that what you two are feeling is love but when push comes to shove she probable isn't going to choose you even if she does leave her H. She is using you to get revenge against her H and even more against your W.

 

 

I don't think he really cares, I mean the sex has to be mind blowing! Of course I'm not for these kinds of actions.

 

Hey, what kind of consequenses are you referring to concerning OM's Wife?

[Darth Vader]

Yes I did sleep with her H,I told my H and I told her about it.

 

My H did stay with me I basically would tell him when he cheated on me and I stayed with him he basically gave me a free ticked to cheat,I told him when I cash in that ticket is up to me.

 

My H stayed with me,will your W stay with you well that is a gamble you will have to take.

 

I did not feel bad for OW or my H,as crazy as it sounds it did make me feel better afterwards.

 

I was hurt,humiliated the thought of them two having sex disgusted me I wanted them to feel what they made me feel,the tears that they seen on my face was not enough I wanted to see them hurt,tearful,humiliated the only way for that was to sleep with her H so I did.

 

Yes I rubbed it in her face I basically called her up and told her we're even.

 

I told my husband the same thing and of course I reminded him that I stayed with him after finding out of his affair it has been 4 months since my revenge and my husband and I are still together.

 

Another thing when I decided tostay with my H I told him that I am struggling with getting revenge on him and OW and this is something he needs to accept,I guess he never thought I would do it

 

 

They both were hurt weren't they? Did you give them the details?

 

When I got the hard copy report from the PI I wrapped it up and gave it to my wife as her b-day present on June 17th 2008. I made sure OM's wife had a copy as well. Not only was she busted on her b-day but she got kicked to the curb by OM as well. He sent her a brutal NC letter.

 

I could not help but gloat. I mean what kind of soul mate sends a NC letter on someones b-day?

 

That sounds like the gift that keeps on giving! So, what was her reaction to her present? She musta been pissed!

[blueintheface]

While I don't condone what he did one iota, what kind of guy is he that you wouldn't want to get involved with?

 

The kind of guy that if you cheated on him, it would be your nightmare that he'd cheat back?

 

 

To explain myself better ..... Lorenzo actually seems like quite an intelligent guy (protecting his assets, err grammar and spelling =P, from his general posts basically, etc) but this action he has taken is very passive aggressive. Intelligent passive agressive people freak the hell out of me because frankly you never know what they're capable of and able to do. I have never even thought about cheating though so i guess that is outside my level of expertise. ...... Anyway, since Lorenzo has calmed down a lot - he is not so scary badass anymore.

 

James: if i was IN a boat with Lorenzo and i was drowning, i would have to assume that someone is holding me down ....

 

Lorenzo - i apologise for my comment before. Thank you for not losing your cool. You definitely deserved more empathy than that ..... With your current situation, i have always heard that people forge a deeper emotional connection when they're vulnerable and help each other through a tough time ....... i think either way, you might've made a friend for life.

[bish]

To explain myself better ..... Lorenzo actually seems like quite an intelligent guy (protecting his assets, err grammar and spelling =P, from his general posts basically, etc) but this action he has taken is very passive aggressive. Intelligent passive agressive people freak the hell out of me because frankly you never know what they're capable of and able to do.

 

I'd say he only exhibits this behavior because of the betrayal that was handed down to him.

 

And there would be no need to fear someone that is capable of being passive aggressive if you never betrayed them.

 

People that screw other people over should be afraid of the consequences.(not talking about you here, just people in general)

 

 

I have never even thought about cheating though so i guess that is outside my level of expertise. ...... Anyway, since Lorenzo has calmed down a lot - he is not so scary badass anymore.

 

Too bad more people that were betrayed display some level of "badassedness":cool: If they did, they wouldn't be walked all over so easily.

[Lorenzo76]

From the looks of it, he won't be able to get this OW's orgasms out of his head either! Just curious though, are you concerned that the OM may try to kill you if he knew that his wife was RIDING you hard? I know he banged your wife and all, make no mistake, but, cheaters can hardly take their own medicine! They can dish it out, but, they can't take it!

 

Physically he is no match for me. I could toss him around like a little rag doll. If I ever see him behind the wheel it would be in my best interest to take cover.

 

What he should be worried about is that his wife now knows what good sex is. She says the man does not know the meaning of foreplay and she's lucky if he lasts more than 3 minutes. I have been thinking about the conversations I have had with my stbx and she said sex was not a big part of their relationship. I never believed her. Still he must have done something for her that kept her going back for more.

[JamesM]

Physically he is no match for me. I could toss him around like a little rag doll. If I ever see him behind the wheel it would be in my best interest to take cover.

 

 

But are you a match for a knife or a gun? In this day and age, nothing is out of the question.

 

It is one thing that he banged your wife...and he is probably hurting due to the loss, but it is another thing to find out you have been banging his wife. He may feel that his life is over, and when he does he may take you with him.

[Lorenzo76]

But are you a match for a knife or a gun? In this day and age, nothing is out of the question.

 

It is one thing that he banged your wife...and he is probably hurting due to the loss, but it is another thing to find out you have been banging his wife. He may feel that his life is over, and when he does he may take you with him.

 

I was in the military so I can hold my own with guns and knives. For some reason I don't know why if he were to come after me I see him running me over in a car.

 

The man is not stupid and I don't see him risking jail. I wanted to beat the **** out of him on d-day but I was like my wife and this POS is not worth jail time and legal fees. What can I say.....I am a lover not a fighter. I only fight when I have to defend myself.

[JustBreathe]

Lorenzo,

 

You've gotten your revenge on your wife and the OM. I can understand why you did it, I think everyone who has dealt with their spouse's affair can understand why you did it.

 

Okay.

 

So now you can't be angry or resentful at your wife anymore because you did exactly what she did. You can't hate the OM or resent him either because you are no more and no less a man than he is. You can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself because you have nothing to feel sorry for yourself about. You have no right to feel screwed over by anyone anymore.

 

At this point everyone is operating on the same crazed level.

[Lorenzo76]

That sounds like the gift that keeps on giving! So, what was her reaction to her present? She musta been pissed!

 

At first she was confused but when she came to the pics of her and OM in the parking lot of the Super 8 kissing and holding hands she broke down in tears. What really pissed me off is that she begged me not to tell his wife. It was all about protecting him.

 

I think it was at that point I realized beating the **** out of him would not be worth the trouble. I would have to get my revenge another way.

[Lorenzo76]

Lorenzo,

 

You've gotten your revenge on your wife and the OM. I can understand why you did it, I think everyone who has dealt with their spouse's affair can understand why you did it.

 

Okay.

 

So now you can't be angry or resentful at your wife anymore because you did exactly what she did. You can't hate the OM or resent him either because you are no more and no less a man than he is. You can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself because you have nothing to feel sorry for yourself about. You have no right to feel screwed over by anyone anymore.

 

At this point everyone is operating on the same crazed level.

 

I have to ride this out till December. It's all about me protecting myself financially now. I don't make her life hell at home and I have kept my anger in check. In fact she seems to be going out of her way to want to spend time with me. I just give her the I need time and space. Faking reconcilation is not as hard as you might think.

[orangesean]

So now you can't be angry or resentful at your wife anymore because you did exactly what she did. You can't hate the OM or resent him either because you are no more and no less a man than he is. You can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself because you have nothing to feel sorry for yourself about. You have no right to feel screwed over by anyone anymore.

 

This is the funny thing about this. Everyone knows two wrongs don't make a right, and that a revenge affair supposedly never works out in the end, but even if he doesn't fall madly in love with the other man's wife and they live happily ever after, it seems that Lorenzo has diffused a lot of his pain and is having a good time as well.

 

This goes against all common sense, but somehow I don't feel bad for Lorenzo nor do I want to chastise him for his actions, because he is doing what his wife did and thinking for himself, since they are no longer a valid couple and his selfishness seems to be saving him from intense emotional distress and drama.

 

You say now he can't sit around and feel sorry for himself, feel angry, or feel resentful, but isn't that a good thing?! Now he doesn't have to carry around bad thoughts all day, and he is able to feel elated.

 

I think what's happening here is he is obviously getting instant gratification: good sex and having a fun time outdoors, as well as a new "friend" to boot that is interested in him (or we can assume). Of course it's wrong of him and it's all wrong, but I'm really interested in seeing how this plays out. So he's acting just as bad, but it seems like he has no interest in staying with his wife and now he is getting revenge and pleasure.

 

So again, I don't condone what he is doing. But to me Lorenzo is a refreshing "experiment" and I want to see where he's going with this. Please keep us updated Lorenzo! I want to know, if you get revenge from an affair by sleeping with the other man's wife and providing better sex to boot, then does your individual pleasure from the revenge diffuse the agony from your wife's affair in the long run? Is Lorenzo feeling good now, only to feel like complete **** four months from now about all that happened? Even if his divorce goes through, the other man's wife doesn't run away with Lorenzo, and he is left alone, will Lorenzo feel better and less sad in the end had he not had gotten a revenge affair?

 

This is all major food for thought in my opinion. Hahah, maybe if everything works out, the Loveshack advice for those who have been betrayed is to go after the other man/woman's spouse.

[Owl]

Personally, I don't see a single difference between Lorenzo and the OM in his case.

 

Other than one did it out of some misguided sense of "love"...and the other out of revenge.

 

Given the "revenge" of doing this and faking reconciliation, I think this spells out TONS about Lorenzo's character.

 

Its hardly surprising he's right where he's at given these revelations. This appears to me to have been years in the making.

[whichwayisup]

Cliche but who cares - Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

He lowered himself to his wife's and the OM's level. Same goes with the MM's wife. ALL of them now are on the same playing field - Cheaters, liars, betrayers. Loss of respect, love and trust.

 

Really, who wins?

[Owl]

I don't think he "lowered" himself at all.

 

I think he was already emotionally/morally at that same level that they were...they just beat him to the punch.

 

His ACTIONS since the discovery of the affair clearly spell that out. It makes me question what he was like PRIOR to the discovery of the affair...and what the rest of the situation was like prior to the affair as well.

 

Most of the time, I tend to feel that while the BS may have contributed to the state of the marriage, they aren't at fault for their spouse's decision to cheat.

 

This thread makes me question that belief in this situation.

[Kenyth]

You know, it aint' right, but it sure is poetic!

 

 

 

 

As an ex-cheated on spouse (past marriage) you'll have to allow me to find humor in this whole twisted story. Admit it; if you've been cheated on, you've thought of this fantasy at least once.

[Owl]

I've been cheated on...but didn't have this particular fantasy.

 

I'll admit that he was single, so it couldn't have been an option regardless.

 

But frankly, I find this just as disgusting as the actions his wife took against him as well. Maybe moreso, since this was done out of pure revenge and spite. Her actions were done out of ignorance and sheer stupidity and self-centeredness.

[45Reverse]

underpants,

 

I am some what limited on what I can do to him. The closest I came to really getting under his skin is when I made fun of him for being sterile. I told him he was less than half a man for not being able to give his wife a child she do desperately wanted. He wanted to punch me and I think I almost made the bastard cry. If he reacted like that to me making fun of him shooting blanks can you imagine how he would react if I banged his wife?

 

He is the one person who never faced any real consequences. I have the ability to make him pay dearly and I feel as I am crazy to pass that up. As other posters have mentioned I have my son to think about. I have to tread very carefully.

 

Hmmm...you could always just walk up and punch him in the mouth. No need to bang his Wife. Knock out a couple if his teeth and he'll be reminded of you every time he puts his dentures in

[Owl]

I could just picture this...Lorenzo decided to do just that...went up to the poor little shrimp...and the found out the guy's a world class martial artist?

 

Its WAY easy to understimate people...your time in the military should have taught you that.

 

He's already boinked the guy's wife from the sound of the thread.

 

Now he's just pretending to try to reconcile his marriage so he can get back at his wife as well.

 

He's a real sweetheart alright.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I have to ride this out till December. It's all about me protecting myself financially now. I don't make her life hell at home and I have kept my anger in check. In fact she seems to be going out of her way to want to spend time with me. I just give her the I need time and space. Faking reconcilation is not as hard as you might think.

 

Do you have any long term plans for your OW?

[KismetGirl]

I am trying to make my marriage work but I am beginning to think the only way I can make it work is if I have an affair too. I have bonded so to speak with my wife's OP spouse. She is a knock out and we are attracted to each other. We have acknowledged the attraction but have yet to act on it. I think if we are ever alone again it will happen.

 

I know it's wrong but I want to have an affair with her. I want her husband and my wife to find out after the fact so they know the pain they inflicted on us. I want to be able to tell the OP to his face that I slept with his wife multiple times and that I have no intention of stopping. It's only a fantasy right now but if I really pursued her I could make it happen.

 

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

if you're going to do that you may as well get divorced now. The fantasy will feel alot better than the reality, which is why it should stay a fantasy. Revenge on someone you supposedly love, no matter what wrongs they did you, will never make you feel good.

 

You are thinking in a mad, betrayed state of mind. Bad state of mind to be making decisions in if you ask me.

 

The recovery process from an A is a long one, if it's possible at all. Two wrongs do not make a right. If that's what you think, don't bother staying married.

[Lorenzo76]

This is the funny thing about this. Everyone knows two wrongs don't make a right, and that a revenge affair supposedly never works out in the end, but even if he doesn't fall madly in love with the other man's wife and they live happily ever after, it seems that Lorenzo has diffused a lot of his pain and is having a good time as well.

 

This goes against all common sense, but somehow I don't feel bad for Lorenzo nor do I want to chastise him for his actions, because he is doing what his wife did and thinking for himself, since they are no longer a valid couple and his selfishness seems to be saving him from intense emotional distress and drama.

 

You say now he can't sit around and feel sorry for himself, feel angry, or feel resentful, but isn't that a good thing?! Now he doesn't have to carry around bad thoughts all day, and he is able to feel elated.

 

I think what's happening here is he is obviously getting instant gratification: good sex and having a fun time outdoors, as well as a new "friend" to boot that is interested in him (or we can assume). Of course it's wrong of him and it's all wrong, but I'm really interested in seeing how this plays out. So he's acting just as bad, but it seems like he has no interest in staying with his wife and now he is getting revenge and pleasure.

 

So again, I don't condone what he is doing. But to me Lorenzo is a refreshing "experiment" and I want to see where he's going with this. Please keep us updated Lorenzo! I want to know, if you get revenge from an affair by sleeping with the other man's wife and providing better sex to boot, then does your individual pleasure from the revenge diffuse the agony from your wife's affair in the long run? Is Lorenzo feeling good now, only to feel like complete **** four months from now about all that happened? Even if his divorce goes through, the other man's wife doesn't run away with Lorenzo, and he is left alone, will Lorenzo feel better and less sad in the end had he not had gotten a revenge affair?

 

This is all major food for thought in my opinion. Hahah, maybe if everything works out, the Loveshack advice for those who have been betrayed is to go after the other man/woman's spouse.

 

The irony is amazing. All my anger and need for revenge is gone. To be honest I am really happy since I started my affair. I can keep you posted.

[Lorenzo76]

I could just picture this...Lorenzo decided to do just that...went up to the poor little shrimp...and the found out the guy's a world class martial artist?

 

Its WAY easy to understimate people...your time in the military should have taught you that.

 

He's already boinked the guy's wife from the sound of the thread.

 

Now he's just pretending to try to reconcile his marriage so he can get back at his wife as well.

 

He's a real sweetheart alright.

 

LOL!! He is not a world class martial artist. My 9 year old could probably whip his ass. Physical violence would have landed me in jail. OM and my stbx wife are not worth that. I found a non violent way to handle it.