Futureshop Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I have a beginner question for you. If I invite a girl out for dinner, will she think I've asked her on a date, or not necessarily? And if the girl accepts, does it mean she likes me or do some girls accept dinner invitations even when they are not interested? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 yes, we will assume it's a date. Dinner is just something I would automatically assume meant there is interest...and if I accept, it's because I am interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Well, if your intention is for it to NOT be a date, then your question becomes "do some girls accept dinner invitations even when they are not interested in eating?" Doesn't it? Cos if you are inviting them to dinner to also find out if they are interested in YOU, then that is a date. Isn't it? No matter how much you may want to have an 'out' after the fact. But. I think it will depend on your current relationship, as to whether or not the woman will necessarily consider it a date. Personally, I would not accept a dinner invite IF I thought it had romantic overtones and I wasn't interested in some sort of dating/romantic relationship with the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Don't invite women out for dinner. Just meet for a drink. Weeds out the users and losers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Futureshop Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Don't invite women out for dinner. Just meet for a drink. Weeds out the users and losers. Why do you say that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Futureshop Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Well, if your intention is for it to NOT be a date, then your question becomes "do some girls accept dinner invitations even when they are not interested in eating?" Doesn't it? Cos if you are inviting them to dinner to also find out if they are interested in YOU, then that is a date. Isn't it? No matter how much you may want to have an 'out' after the fact. But. I think it will depend on your current relationship, as to whether or not the woman will necessarily consider it a date. Personally, I would not accept a dinner invite IF I thought it had romantic overtones and I wasn't interested in some sort of dating/romantic relationship with the guy. Thanks for answering. So if the girl is not a friend, she will most likely assume it is a date? I used to be very confident but I lost a bit of it when a girl I had dinner with twice turned out to be uninterested. Link to post Share on other sites
almost famous Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Well, dating is about seeing if you're interested. She might have decided after 2 dates that she wasn't interested. Things about people come out on dates and maybe there were just some things that made her not attracted to you anymore for whatever reason. That's why you go out on dates. Otherwise, accepting a date is "I want a relationship with you" which it's not. It's "Let's go out together, get to know each other, and see if we want to proceed to a relationship eventually." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Futureshop Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Well, dating is about seeing if you're interested. She might have decided after 2 dates that she wasn't interested. Things about people come out on dates and maybe there were just some things that made her not attracted to you anymore for whatever reason. That's why you go out on dates. Otherwise, accepting a date is "I want a relationship with you" which it's not. It's "Let's go out together, get to know each other, and see if we want to proceed to a relationship eventually." Thanks! The girl ended up telling me she thought we were clearly friends (we were not). I thought that was ridiculous. She's the only girl I had dinner with and did not have a relationship with. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Why do you say that? Because I've been reading too many 'why the man should pay' threads. But from a different, even more important angle, I don't believe a dinner date is an ideal way to get to know someone. It's a stilted atmosphere, you have to watch each other eat, there's little chance to touch, at the end of it you will probably be too full to want to go dancing or have sex, it's not 'romantic' to me, like buying flowers isn't romantic. I've successfully 'dated' for 20 years without ever going for dinner as a first date. Save it for when you know each other better. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 If I invite a girl out for dinner, will she think I've asked her on a date, or not necessarily? Yes she probably will think you're asking her for a date. And if the girl accepts, does it mean she likes me or do some girls accept dinner invitations even when they are not interested? Not necessarily, she might accept dinner just to see what kind of guy you are and turn out 'uninterested' or some girls like free dinners. My advice: if you're not sure, don't invite them for dinner.. instead, go for a drink... that way you won't waste your money on girls who end up uninterested or just going for a free lunch.. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Because I've been reading too many 'why the man should pay' threads. But from a different, even more important angle, I don't believe a dinner date is an ideal way to get to know someone. It's a stilted atmosphere, you have to watch each other eat, there's little chance to touch, at the end of it you will probably be too full to want to go dancing or have sex, it's not 'romantic' to me, like buying flowers isn't romantic. I've successfully 'dated' for 20 years without ever going for dinner as a first date. Save it for when you know each other better. This poster has a point. If you meet up for a drink, coffee or alcohol, you can spend time talking and getting to know eachother and then if you click, you can say hey do you want to grab a bite to eat? It's a bit more low pressure than knowing you could be stuck with someone for an entire meal when they could potentially be someone you're not interested in. To answer the original question, if a guy was NOT my friend, and asked me to dinner, I'd assume it was a date. However, I don't believe all guys view it as such. My current bf says our 1st date wasn't a date lol. So it seems everyone has their own definitions. Link to post Share on other sites
Balthazar Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I agree with the Collector and others. Inviting women out on dinner dates is expensive and does not yield better results than going out for a drink. Plus, all the other stuff Collector mentioned about not being able to touch so easily and the full feeling at the end which may promote drowsiness. GOing out for drink in the evening is just as much a "Date" as dinner if the woman is interested. CHeers, Link to post Share on other sites
flc Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Another vote for not doing dinner as a first date. I generally will do coffee or a drink. If you find after 30min that it was not what you expected it is much easier to bow out. If you do dinner your committed to a couple of hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Legend Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 yes, duh c'mon, asking them to dinner = date Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Ambiguous signals can defray generalized assumptions of actions, within the highly vaunted Dating Manual. In other words, before you take a girl out, regardless of what any silly dating book says, let her know you're interested in her and not as a friend. Your actions will define how she perceives the interaction. Having said the above, I can't remember the last time a first date wasn't dinner. Dinner allows the two of you to be together in a romantic setting where you can hear each other speak without shouting. The table maintains a safe distance which can be breached or maintained, reliant on how the evening goes. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeNewbie Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Ambiguous signals can defray generalized assumptions of actions, within the highly vaunted Dating Manual. In other words, before you take a girl out, regardless of what any silly dating book says, let her know you're interested in her and not as a friend. Your actions will define how she perceives the interaction. Having said the above, I can't remember the last time a first date wasn't dinner. Dinner allows the two of you to be together in a romantic setting where you can hear each other speak without shouting. The table maintains a safe distance which can be breached or maintained, reliant on how the evening goes. I agree. And I also think plenty of touching can happen during dinner... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I agree. And I also think plenty of touching can happen during dinner... I agree on the touching. It doesn't take much to make an excuse of some form to either bring your hand within contact or to get the other person to do so. Also, you can do some heavy duty flirting with eye contact and body language. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeNewbie Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I agree on the touching. It doesn't take much to make an excuse of some form to either bring your hand within contact or to get the other person to do so. Also, you can do some heavy duty flirting with eye contact and body language. And don't forget the footsies!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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