How can I let Him Know i'm interested?

[dcgirl33]

OK. I need your help everybody. I am 40 years old and there is this really handsome gentleman that i see on the subway platform each morning. He always smiles at me and if i am talking to my girlfriend, he'll mouth the word "Hi." If i'm alone he'll say hello and ask "How are you this morning?"

I say fine or sometimes i choke and don't say anything. he always says this in passing. he does not stop to talk to me. He keeps walking as he says it. When wer are on the train, i can feel him glancing back and forth at me. both we are both pretty good at not letting the other one catch us. Friday, he said "Have a good day" as i was getting off. I said you too. when he stood up, he accidentally bumped into my arm and said excuse me. I choked and ignored him. i don;'t know if he ius married. he does not wear a ring. How can i let him know that i am very interested? He's really good looking. he's about late 40's. Surely, he should have some old line he can use on me. Would it be appropaite for me to say, "Hey, is that your wife I see playing in the tunnel?" the next time i see him on the platform? if he says no, i will say how do you know? he should say because i don't have a wife. i really need a date and i don't want to let him get away. how can i turn this up. i look much younger than i really am and so he might think that i don't like him.

[High Plains Drifter]

I have this sorta thing happen from time to time. You don't mention it but I'm guessin' you get a good vibe from this fella.

 

I like to take this sorta thing slow, but it sounds like you two are in sorta a rut. I think you oughta just say something about the weather, and let'er roll from there:

 

You: Gittin' a might coolish

Him: Yep.

You: I been noticin' we're always on the same train

Him: Yep

You: Well, my name is DCgirl.

Him: Yep

You: You gotta name, or is all you say "Yep."

Him: My name is "Shy Charlie. I'm glad we're on the same train 'cause I think you're right purdy, and I like coolish weather."

[dcgirl33]

But I would have to follow him down the platform to say anything to him. He keeps walking when he says, hi. Would it be too much for me to follow him? He's shy because when I position myself where I usually stands, he's standing further up and when I'm further up, he goes further down. I will literally have to chase this guy. I could muster up the courage to walk over to where ever he ends up. You know if all of this goes wrong, I won't be able to get to work on time because I will have to take the bus. I feel like I really need to know if he is married.

 

Give me your best move. I need something BIG.

[ianandris]

Show up a little later than you usually do to the platform, scope him out, and sidle up next to him. Turn to him and start a conversation. Easy peasy.

[Legend]

show affection, touching always works....

[DaisyBelle]

I think because you're nervous, you're making it harder than it is.

 

If the guy likes you, the smallest, smallest reaction from you will yield a result. So I don't think you need a big line, simply something joking like, "Oh! It's you again! Haha!" or some such trivial thing. So when he breezes by on the platform, come up with something simple (e.g., not a yes/no answerable question) that will cause him to stop and talk to you. Something like, "Hey! How have you been?"

 

Alternatively, if you do have to "chase" him somewhat down the platform, go to it. You can be professional about it, but you're going to have to command the situation and not stand idly by waiting for this cat to say something. You might simply say, "I notice we travel on the same train and thought I'd introduce myself. I'm DCGirl." Shake his hand. Watch him be tongue-tied. He might be too stunned at that moment to make great conversation, but he'll respond. If he seems overly nervous, gently bow out with, "Well, here comes the train. Have a good day." It might take a day or two while he churns up a line for himself, but he'll come around if he's interested. At least you've opened the door.

 

Now, as for the "wife" comment you suggested, I'd steer very clear of that. At this early stage, it sounds a bit assumptive. I mean, you don't even know at this stage if you'd even WANT a date with him. You could start talking to him and find out he's unintelligent, or rude, or psycho, in which case it wouldn't matter if he has a wife. So I'd keep it light for now and talk about how much Metro sucks (which as you know, is pretty much a common denominator topic for everyone in DC) or about the high number of tourists in town (again, also a common DC topic) or about the Redskins or whatever DC topic is generic enough not to be overly personal at this stage.

 

Good luck! Can't wait to hear what happens!

[paddington bear]

Some pre-made signs on white card, black felt tip pen.

 

Card 1: Are you single?

If the answer is in the affirmative, discard card.

Card 2: My number - 1232444660890

Hand him card 2.

 

Or, if he keeps talking to you while walking...simply slip your name and number into his pocket with 'train girl' or some such written on it. A friend of mine slipped her number into the cigarette packet of the guy she liked (and subsequently had a child with years later), so these kind of silly, cheeky things sometimes work.

[High Plains Drifter]

But I would have to follow him down the platform to say anything to him. He keeps walking when he says, hi. Would it be too much for me to follow him? He's shy because when I position myself where I usually stands, he's standing further up and when I'm further up, he goes further down. I will literally have to chase this guy. .

 

Well, I wouldn't say this is a real good sign that he's smitten with you.

 

Move on.

[dcgirl33]

I had thought about saying somehting like, "Oh, look who's here. I was hoping I'd see you this morning." I might do that tomorrow. If he doesn't know i'm waving him in with that then he's retarded. I'm a very good sizer upper. I know he's not a jerk of ignorant. This is going on seven months. I used to only see him on Tuesday mornings and them i didn't see him all summer because of summer camp hours for my 6 year old. Last week was the first time I saw him in a couple of months and he came to the platform all week at 7:30am. I know that he could keep this up forever. These older guys can find joy in just seeing you eachdayand just be satisfied with that forever. I want him to know that more is availbable and he can see me up close and personal.

[2sunny]

i'd say no go. if he wants to approach you he would.

 

as or the wife comment? NO! NO! NO!

 

if you ever want to say something - keep it simple to start. like how long have you been riding the train?

 

he might answer with more info about himself... like where he works or what kind of work he does - that's a good reason to continue a conversation.

[dcgirl33]

How long have you been riding the train? No.

I don't want to say welll if he wanted to approach me he would. I think that people who say those things let a life of life pass them by. I'm not bragging, but i'm very attractive and he might also be thinking i'm twenty something. I'm 5'10 and usually wearing heel so he might think that I am super confident and would show him if i was interested. He doesn't know i'm choking. I actually hide behind a wall once when I saw him coming. I think he saw me do that. If you all don't come up with anything else then i'm saying, "hey, has a women ever told you that she wanted to fly you out to Chicago via Greyhound and propose tyo you on Jerry Springer?" That should make him laugh.

[rod_in_gtown]

Well, I would say, get the free washington post mini newspaper they hand at the metro (they still do that right?) pick an article and use it to start a conversation with him. Wait until he's standing still so he won't be running. Or sit next to him on the train.

 

Lines DO NOT work. they're lame and insencere. Just say "Hi, by the way, my name is DCGirl." stick your hand out. and take it from there. Ask questions. he might be clueless, he might think you're out of his league. If anything, at least you've met someone you can talk to during the metro ride which is always a nice thing to have.

[High Plains Drifter]

If you all don't come up with anything else then i'm saying, "hey, has a women ever told you that she wanted to fly you out to Chicago via Greyhound and propose tyo you on Jerry Springer?" That should make him laugh.

 

Yeah, try that.

 

Let us know how it works.

[rod_in_gtown]

How long have you been riding the train? No.

I don't want to say welll if he wanted to approach me he would. I think that people who say those things let a life of life pass them by. I'm not bragging, but i'm very attractive and he might also be thinking i'm twenty something. I'm 5'10 and usually wearing heel so he might think that I am super confident and would show him if i was interested. He doesn't know i'm choking. I actually hide behind a wall once when I saw him coming. I think he saw me do that. If you all don't come up with anything else then i'm saying, "hey, has a women ever told you that she wanted to fly you out to Chicago via Greyhound and propose tyo you on Jerry Springer?" That should make him laugh.

 

The thing about the DC metro and people here is that it's hard to approach people of the opposite sex. everyone is usually in a rush, and there are not that many attractive women here so when we run into one of you, we tend to think "well, she's probably taken or gets hit on all the time". More often than not you'll find that we're trying to come up with a way of starting a conversation.

 

I agree with you. the whole "if he's interested he'll talk to me" approach is lame and cowardly. It's an excuse to not take chances. "well, I like him but he never said anything so it's not my fault".

[rod_in_gtown]

A good rule of thumb is, almost everybody who lives in DC is not FROM DC, so the "where are you from originally" or "what brought you here?" questions are very appropriate and I feel they always work when starting a conversation.

[dcgirl33]

He is smitten with me!!! He races to catch up with me when we get off the train. I guess he want's to walk behind me and smell my perfume? I know that he is right behind me. See, he likes a bunch of free stuff that he doesn't have to work for.

 

I can't get a seat next to him beacuse the trains are always crowded. He won't get on if it's standing room only, but there are never two available seats together. He does ususally have the Express paper. I could ask him if there's anything in there that we can do this weekend? These older guys are just out of practice. I find that you really have to just have to explain it to them like they are children. I may have to jump on his back when he is walking away. BUT i know i'm not going to let him keep enjoys his little empty convos with me in the morning. Either he's going to say something substantial or i'm going to choke all the time.

[DaisyBelle]

NO! I beg you not to use the Jerry Springer line. You don't know this guy, his past, or his humor level. It's best to keep things generic until you get a better feel for his personality, otherwise you run the risk of alienating him. You can't go wrong with the standard, "Hi, my name's DCGirl." Totally non-offensive and non-weird in any interpretation.

 

You don't need a line. The guy has obviously already noticed you, you describe yourself as an attractive person, so...you don't need a line. You "need" to be a down to earth, approachable person who doesn't say anything to scare him off. Remember, this will really be the first-ish contact he has with you. Do you really want it to be something that could be interpreted as weird? As a rule, *anything* relating to potential spouses/potential marriage proposals/potential sex situations are off limits in the initial conversation, even if you're just joking. Remember this guy doesn't know you at all. If your first words with him relate to marriage, even jokingly so, that can come across as a bit assumptive and possessive, IMHO.

 

I also would avoid the Express paper "is there anything we can do in there" comment. Just say hi. Seriously, you don't even know at this stage if you'd want to date him, you just know you're physically attracted to him. As I said before, he could be nuts, dumb, psycho...and you won't know any of that till you talk to him, size him up, and see. I wouldn't jump the gun and ask him out just yet; that could be kinda dangerous. Talk to him. Generically. Then if the convo goes well, or if you have two or three good little substantive chats over the course of a week, you can segue into coffee.

[dcgirl33]

OK, so the jury is in. Tomorrow morning it will be, "Hii there, I was hoping I would see you this morning."

 

I don't have to tell him why, but that should answer any question he has about if i'm interested in him or not. I'll walk over to where he's standing so that he can't move. If he runs anyway, that's it!

[High Plains Drifter]

NO! I beg you not to use the Jerry Springer line. You don't know this guy, his past, or his humor level. .

 

Dern it.

 

 

I was really hoping dcgirl would do this and come back with a really interesting story....

[rod_in_gtown]

That would get me... If he runs away, he's an idiot. But I have the feeling he won't. Morning pre-coffee conversations can be slow in my world, if you work near each other and he seems like a nice enough guy maybe you could catch lunch together.

[dcgirl33]

I really did have my heart set on that Jerry Springer thing, but I do think I need to APPEAR intelligent for this first one. After I get thru this one, it's going to be pure nonsense.

[rod_in_gtown]

I really did have my heart set on that Jerry Springer thing, but I do think I need to APPEAR intelligent for this first one. After I get thru this one, it's going to be pure nonsense.

 

Where do they make you and where can I get one like you?

[dcgirl33]

We can't do lunch because he gets off in D.C. L'Enfant Plaza and I transfer trains to go to Virginia. I thought about following him out of the L'Enfant Plaza station one time just to see where he goes and maybe one day I could be there too, but that would be it if he turned around and saw me walking behind him. He knows that I go downstairs when we get off the train. So, I'm going to have to get a full blown date. I think he lives near me because he comes into the same station as I do in the a.m., but he could be taking a bus there. If I knew where he lived and it was near me, I would walk my dog near his house on the weekend.

[High Plains Drifter]

I really did have my heart set on that Jerry Springer thing, but I do think I need to APPEAR intelligent for this first one. After I get thru this one, it's going to be pure nonsense.

 

 

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dcgirl33]

Where do they make you and where can I get one like you?

 

 

Ahhh, thanks Rod. They've gotta love the humor.