hereforever Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 My bestfriend, over the past 6 months has been reaching a very low point. Its a very long painfull story which i am very involved in.if i wanted to tell the story..i dont no if i could..its to long with to many turns. Currently she is at home, she was let out of hospital a few weeks ago, she was only in for a month. About a week ago she attempted suicide, for the 4th time in a few months.Thankfully shes fine , physically, but its only brought her down more. The trigger to all this was the abuse from a 25 year old man and his friend.they rapped her in there car and she told no1 for months, until she overdosed and afterwards it spilled out. I along with her and her parents are the only ones who no of the rape.her parents do not no who they were.i do, i no even no where they are right now.her parents wont seem to do anything.she wont say anything to the police, meanwhile texting her asking to meet up.it breaks my heart. If i could do anything right now it would be to ame them pay.i want to walk up and tell them now that i no and if they ever **** with her again il ****ing ruin there lives, take away there jobs and throw them in jail. I dont no what to do. They caused this Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 contact the cops and see what you're able to do at this point. And get your friend involved in counselling so that she understands what happened was an aberration, not the norm, and that she's not some horrible person because of what happened to her. meanwhile, call a rape or abuse hotline to see what YOU can do on your end. Just by being her friend, you've done a tremendous amount, but this will give yo the tools you need to help her. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
dcgirl33 Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Even if she will not go tot he police, she needs to go to rape crisis counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hereforever Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 shes objecting to go to crisis counselling, shes also made it clear if i do anything she, well wouldnt forgive me.that she wont be able to move on.but then i think of how they could be doing it to some other kid at camp. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 keep encouraging her to go, even if it's a week or a month down the line that she finally decides to get the help she needs. Otherwise it's like ignoring a festering sore ... it'll get under her skin and SERIOUSLY hurt her. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 shes objecting to go to crisis counselling, shes also made it clear if i do anything she, well wouldnt forgive me.that she wont be able to move on.but then i think of how they could be doing it to some other kid at camp. At camp? Does this mean that your friend was raped by older people working at a camp she went to? You're absolutely correct to worry that they could be doing this to another child. I appreciate that your friend has told you she won't be your friend any more if you pass this information on, and it must be extremely difficult. On the other hand, your friend has already attempted suicide - and from what you say, her parents don't seem equipped to deal with this situation head on. Your friend must be feeling extremely confused and isolated right now, on top of the trauma of having been raped. Do you have a guidance teacher/counsellor you could discuss this situation with in more depth? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hereforever Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 Yea it was like a communinty thing for teenagers and children. They work with people of all ages on a regular basis. They were teaching them i think. iv gone to my consuller and they assure me the parents are aware. Why there not being arrested i dont no. i keep just holding her, letting her let it out. Telling her shes an amazing person. I dont no if its going to sink in Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 honey, this is going to be a very courageous thing to ask you to do, but if it's esp. taking place in a so-called safe environment AND THE POLICE HAVE NOT BEEN NOTIFIED, contact authorities directly. Because the camp staff is supposed to be protecting YOU CAMPERS, not covering their butts. remember all the news in the past years about priests molesting kids and the Catholic Church covering it up? Well, now we church employees must take ethics and integrity training and sign a form saying that not only will we take advantage of vulnerable kids and adults, but we will contact proper authorities once we hear of such allegations. Because those people deserve to be protected, not the powers that be. you're a good friend for helping your buddy the way you have, hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 honey, this is going to be a very courageous thing to ask you to do, but if it's esp. taking place in a so-called safe environment AND THE POLICE HAVE NOT BEEN NOTIFIED, contact authorities directly. Agreed, totally. Hereforever, you could contact social services about this anonymously if you wished. Or if you google the words "child protection" "hotline" and the name of the area you live in, you might find a free telephone service where disclosures like this can be anonymously passed onto trained staff who will talk you through it then refer your friend's details to the appropriate agency. In some circumstances you have little real option but to break a promise. This is one of them. What you're saying suggests that the camp organisers are brushing this incident under the carpet (which would be a horrific breach of trust) and that your friend's parents are maybe going along with that. Sometimes people do that because they honestly believe it's for the best. "Least said, soonest mended." Your friend's actions are demonstrating that brushing this under the carpet isn't mending anything for her. Meantime the guys who did this are free to carry on working with kids and to do something like this again. Link to post Share on other sites
shanta Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 rather she stays your friend or not GO TO THE POLICE do not let them do this to someone else cause if they do some of the blame will be on you for knowing and not doing nothing about it. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 She will forgive you, I am sure of it. You must do the right thing and somehow notify authorities in some way shape or form. These men can be damaging more young girls out there and they think that nobody is going to stop them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hereforever Posted September 17, 2008 Author Share Posted September 17, 2008 im trying to get there second names.And then il ring them.im only afraid of them turning up at my friends door and how theyl make her talk about it.im going out with her today, im going to get the full names, i no where they work so the police will be able to do something. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 im trying to get there second names.And then il ring them.im only afraid of them turning up at my friends door and how theyl make her talk about it.im going out with her today, im going to get the full names, i no where they work so the police will be able to do something. hereforever, you are such a good friend for doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 im trying to get there second names.And then il ring them.im only afraid of them turning up at my friends door and how theyl make her talk about it.im going out with her today, im going to get the full names, i no where they work so the police will be able to do something. I'm not sure whether you mean you'll ring the police or you'll ring the guys who did this to your friend. Just in case it's the second one...don't call these guys yourself, hereforever. Please don't. It's great that you're going to get their names from your friend and tell the police...that honestly is the best thing you could do here, but there's nothing gained from you trying to contact the men who did this directly. You could be putting yourself at risk if you try. Not just that, but if you get involved and call them, their lawyers might actually use that that as evidence to help the men if they do get charged. The police deal with this kind of thing all the time, and they understand how scary and distressing the whole thing is for victims of these offences. They'll know what to do. Depending on where you live and how old your friend is, they might want to interview her together with a social worker. Or the alternative would be for you and your friend to go to the police station together and ask to see someone in the station. If you're from the UK - this is a useful number for you and/or your friend to call: 0808 800 5000. That's the NSPCC helpline. Provided no names are given, it's confidential (callers' numbers aren't traced) and free if you call from a landline. If you pass these men's details onto them, they will contact the police straight away. Link to post Share on other sites
vascogirl Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 You have to contact law enforcement, that is not right what is going on. Made me somewhat sad. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 hereforever, How old is your friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hereforever Posted September 18, 2008 Author Share Posted September 18, 2008 she was 16 when it happend but shes 17 now.they wer both over 25.i told her im going to the police an in a way i think shes relieved.im working on her coming with me.i think she will . Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 if she's hestitant, contact a rape hotline or even the rape-case officer at the police station and ask what is the best way to handle it since she's still pretty sensitive (and rightfully so) about it. People are wonderful about helping, you need only ask. hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
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