How long do you think it will take for her to realize I will always be there for her?

[tracys toy soul]

Originally posted by Leikela

Putting some space between you two might be a good idea, but only so she can miss you. Don't stay away too long. Just say you have been very busy. If you play your cards right, it might work out in your favor.

How true that is. last time I talked to her was a week ago on friday I think. Until yesterday, I called her and she was DEAD TIRED. I said hi, and she sounded like she was about to fall asleep when she said hello, I said you sound tired she said "I am". I then asked if she wanted me to let her go and she said no thats ok. we talked for about 10 minutes then my neighbor came over to use the phone so I told her I had to go. I asked her to call back tomorrow and she said yeah. I wasn't going to call back last night because I think she fell asleep after we hung up.

 

Originally posted by siljie

Anyway, what makes you so sure that she's the one for you? Like they say, there ARE other fish in the ocean.

I don't want a fish from the ocean, I want the treasure that was hiding in the bottom of it.

 

I just wanted to say thanks for all your help with her. Like I said, the last person i told my feelings for laughed at me, so I feared telling Tracy about my feelings for her but I had to.

 

I know if it doesn't work out between us then I just have to be alone forever because I quit. My heart is gone to someone who peiced the parts together for the last time, Tracy has my soul and now I'm just empty. This whole thing is tearing me apart just like last time, I can feel it. I just can't do this again, it hurts too much. It's slowly making me go insane, I know it is.

 

I hope we will be friends forever but I'll always want more. As a friend I can't hold her in my arms all night long, or get lost in her eyes looking into her soul. I can't paint "I love you" on her toenails or tickle her all over with a rose. And I can never see her smile when I tell her how much I love her and know she feels the same way about me.

[iloveash]

Originally posted by tracys toy soul

How true that is. last time I talked to her was a week ago on friday I think. Until yesterday, I called her and she was DEAD TIRED. I said hi, and she sounded like she was about to fall asleep when she said hello, I said you sound tired she said "I am". I then asked if she wanted me to let her go and she said no thats ok. we talked for about 10 minutes then my neighbor came over to use the phone so I told her I had to go. I asked her to call back tomorrow and she said yeah. I wasn't going to call back last night because I think she fell asleep after we hung up.

 

 

I don't want a fish from the ocean, I want the treasure that was hiding in the bottom of it.

 

I just wanted to say thanks for all your help with her. Like I said, the last person i told my feelings for laughed at me, so I feared telling Tracy about my feelings for her but I had to.

 

I know if it doesn't work out between us then I just have to be alone forever because I quit. My heart is gone to someone who peiced the parts together for the last time, Tracy has my soul and now I'm just empty. This whole thing is tearing me apart just like last time, I can feel it. I just can't do this again, it hurts too much. It's slowly making me go insane, I know it is.

 

I hope we will be friends forever but I'll always want more. As a friend I can't hold her in my arms all night long, or get lost in her eyes looking into her soul. I can't paint "I love you" on her toenails or tickle her all over with a rose. And I can never see her smile when I tell her how much I love her and know she feels the same way about me.

 

hi friend, i know you are feeling very painful deep inside, i understand that feeling cause i feel the last paragraph is talking about myself too...seriously i understand, because i have been going out with "her" last weekend and this weekend and like what you said "I can't hold her in my arms all night long...and so on...i really dont know how to make you feel better because we are in almost the same kind of situation...lets just say, time will heal the wound...

[siljie]

Hey how's everything going? Havn't had time to come back here the last few days, hope it's all ok, or at least that you know it will be. I understand what you've said, and the truth is that time will tell whether you can actually look into her eyes knowing you won't be sharing a bed at nite and still want to be close. I don't know if we'll still always want more with them; it is real for me yes but the future's really not for anybody to tell.

 

What actually happened in the past where you said you had your heart shattered? You know that you don't move on when you don't accept the past and let it go. I'm sure there's really more to why you're feeling upset.

 

There's of cos the possibility that one day you may just want to loosen your hold on this friendship becos the option of an "us" isn't there and it hardly makes sense (or suddenly makes more sense than it ever did) to hang in there. Why don't you try letting yourself acknowledge that all possibilities exist? Perhaps that gives you a better perspective to start with.

[tracys toy soul]

I think I missed it all. I remembered what she was doing before, like asking me if I missed her, laughing at my jokes, asking if I'll still love her (she was asking as a joke. I think), we did everything together. Was she interested before and i didn't see it? Am I a complete f%#&in' retard?

 

I don't know if it's because she's working now that she is tired all the time, or maybe she pretends to be tired just not to talk to me. she hasnt called me in a while im always making the call. she said im a really good friend, but i don't think she wants me as a friend anymore but can't say it.

 

Perhaps she really does want to get everything in order before starting over. Then she may give me a chance. If you knew someone loved you and cared about you as much as I do for Tracy, would you give them a chance?

 

I thought that maybe she is putting me through this because when she tried to show me that she liked me, I just blew it off. I just never thought someone like her would be interested in me and i thought she might be doing it as a joke, just like before.

 

I sometimes even think that she was sent by god just to crush the life out of me to get rid of me because I was a mistake.

 

Maybe she was just using me when she just needed someone to make her feel good, and feel wanted.

 

Maybe I just never was supposed to feel loved or wanted.

 

What I do know is this is the last time. I can't fall for anyone again. Next time it might kill me. I'm hanging by my fingernails, trying not to let go because I don't want her to blame herself. It is not her fault, I know that. I don't blame her for not loving me. I don't love me either.

 

I know that if she does decide to give me a chance she has to be serious about it before I say ok. If she wants to just because I wanted to, I can't. If her heart isn't in it then I know my fingernails won't hold on anymore. I can't play these games.

 

I don't think I want to be here that much anymore. Please save the "professional help" speech ok. I just wanted to tell someone how I really feel inside without being told that im screwed up. Please don't try to know how I feel, you don't know me, or my whole life. i don't need someone telling me how to feel or what to do, thinking they got me all figured out. Im not screwed up, Im just alone and I really love this woman. I just want her to be with me so we can go on this journey of life together. We only go aroung once, and it can be too short for some and too long for others.

 

Hey, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to hurt her too.

 

 

Why does god hate so much?

[BlockHead]

Don't take it too hard. Sometimes life likes to give you a slap to the face when you least expect it. I was a surrogate boyfriend for a while, and I'm sure she had fun with her mind games. I think she is still waiting for prince charming to sweep her off her feet.

 

Just when you think you hit the jackpot, you find out it is nothing more than fool's gold. It is a thing of beauty, but it only lacks substance. Don't settle for a cheap imitation.

 

Think of this as a learning experience. Whenever you open up, you risk getting hurt. If you don't open up, you will have a lonely life. Pain is a part of life.

 

Move on with your life, and don't give her another thought.

[tracys toy soul]

Easier said than done. No, I'm in this for good. If she won't want to be with me than I really don't want anyone else. It's always been like this and always will.

 

I thought this time it might be different because I thought there was something between us. I guess I was dreaming again.

 

This whole thing just crushed everything I had left. In a way I'm glad it was her, she is a very special person who never deserved all the bad things that happned to her, and if this is what she wanted to do to me, I just hope I made her happy. It's all I ever wanted to do. If I could take her hurt an pain away, I would. I am her toy soul

[siljie]

Nobody here can tell you how to feel or live. Only you can do that. If it helps, unload your baggage here, we'll be here to listen and to talk.

 

Trust me, it really doesn't mean anything for certain for her to say those things to you. My ex was this way just before we broke up, sometimes, it's just something that people do. As much as I hate to pigeonhole, I must say that women are especially inclined to do these things. Don't ask me why, I don't even want to go there.

 

When we went our separate ways(she left me for somebody else), I thought I would die from the pain. It drove me crazy, obsessive, and got me crawling on my knees (back to her a few times)even though I knew deep down that I didn't want to. Just when I felt like life was the pits, it got even worse when I discovered that my ex was leaving the country. I was way past functional, I no longer felt like I was a person, I just wanted to stop all that pain pain pain, and consciousness was a curse. But when life threw me into the fire, it also gave me the strength of my friends and that was what saved me from getting incinerated. Certain choices have to be made, even if the pain is immediate and immense. Time will help dull it, and time will tell you things that you never knew was there. In time, it will all make much better sense.

 

Is there a problem with talking abt this with her?

[tracys toy soul]

I just want to leave it alone for a while. i don't want to bring any of this up with her right now. I think she is just concentrating on getting everything in order with work and things. She doesn't need anymore things to be upset about now.

 

She has a part time minimum wage job that she finaly got, and 2 crazy, yet lovable, kids driving her nuts. her divorce in january which will be a mess too. Throw my problems in the mix and she might fall apart.

 

I think she really is tired from working and the kids. She is verry honest and if she was trying to ignore me she would tell me to get lost.

 

I was thinking 2 days ago, We've only known each other for 4 months, well we met 4 months ago, but we really didn't get to know each other until about a month later. Well I got to know her way more than she got to know me. I'd like to get a chance to tell her about me, but there's not that much, and she's usualy busy or tired. She also knows that if we do start somethng together, that I'm looking for something that will last a long time.

 

I'm going to talk to one of our career counselors from the school that we met at tomorrow. She stops by on her breaks a lot. I want to ask him if she says anything about being tired from working so much. I know, paranoid? Me? nooooooooo.

 

I think he also wants to get into my head, so if he thinks he can handle it, but wow is he going to be surprised about how wrong they were about me. I just wonder if I'll be able to talk about my feelings for Tracy. It's hard for me to talk about those things to people, I like my thoughts to be kept inside.I think they think why the hell would I even think I could have a chance with someone like her? WAKE UP!! YOU'RE DREAMING!! I should give him the link to this site!!

[tracys toy soul]

I asked her on thursday if she wanted to go driving my brothers dune buggy yesterday and she said if nothing comes up, but she had a siezure again yesterday morning. I was a little skeptical.

 

I called her today to see how she was feeling and she was talking to someone on the other line and said she'd call back, I thought it was BS, but she did. she was doing ok just a little tired she said. It was as if we were friends like before all the **** went down.

 

Like on thursday, we started talking about west nile cases in saskatoon. she wanted to find the article in the paper about it, my neighbor came by to use the phone, so I told her I had to go, but she said "well just hang on a second" in her bossy yet irrisistable tone of voice. That's the Tracy I fell in love with. I think I might have my friend back finaly.

[BlockHead]

I know a woman who would lead me on for a few months, blow me off another few months, and then repeat the cycle. Like Tracy, she is also bossy, and she wants to keep me around when she feels like it. It seems like these women are casting some kind of spell that blocks all reason. Reading your posts reminds me how much of a sucker I was.

 

That is your life. You are free to do with it as you please.

[tracys toy soul]

I didn't mean bossy like that, it was bossy like a child, you know like a friendly inocent type of thing.

 

I know she has me wrapped around her little finger. It is a spell that she has on me, and I just can't resist.

 

She came into where I work again today and wher I was her she was waving like a child, waving her hand like she was landing an airplane or something and smiling almost ear to ear. At least I think she still wants me as her friend.

 

Tomorrow will be a year since my grandmother died, and yeaterday I asked her if she wanted to do something tomorrow because I really don't want to be alone. She said said if nothing comes up, but she hasn't called to say no yet. If she cancels than maybe she doesn't care I guess.

[sonofhud]

Ignore women you like, they will either start callin you or try to get with you.....or you will forget about her. Its a win-win situation.