helpplz Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Well, i have been seeing this girl since highschool 5 years ago. I am in love with her and everything is going great. However, I have this feeling that I should probably see other people before moving into a more permanent relationship with my girlfriend (like marriage) I want to see other people to make sure that I am making the right decision. I don't know what I need to do.. but let her go, see other people and tne if it sucks, and we think we should get back together later on, then we will. My situation and my thinking falls back onto this quote. "If you love it, set it free. If it comes back, then it is ment to be." Anyone have any thoughts? What do I need to tell her so she understands? I don't want to say we are permanently broken up.... i'm confused to tell you the least. Thanks, Kevin Link to post Share on other sites
helpplz Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Been following this post a bit.. kinda related to my topic. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t24056/ I just don't know how to tell her.. and this post doesn't help me in that aspect at all Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 I think you're out of your tree. If you're with somebody you really care about and have a lot in common with, love, etc., you don't just start seeing other people to be sure he or she is the right person. That's crazy. For your information, no matter who you happen to be seeing...there is ALWAYS a better deal out there, somebody better or at least different, who you can care about equally so. You can "better deal" yourself right to your grave if you want to.. As far as the quote: ""If you love it, set it free. If it comes back, then it is meant to be." That quote has absolutely nothing to do with what you have in mind. Holy shxt. That quote was written relative to someone who has lost a love. It's best to release a person who has broken up with you...basically set them free to move on to find their own bliss. If they come back, great! If they don't, well it just wasn't meant to be. IT DOESN'T MEAN TO JUST BREAK UP WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE TO SET THEM FREE AND SEE IF THEY COME BACK....YIKES!!! Now, it doesn't sound like you really love or care for this person very much. If you did you wouldn't be thinking about such foolishness. In that case. break up nicely and hope she doesn't try to come back. Go out and find someone who is more suited for you...and when you do, don't set her free for Pete's sake!!! Link to post Share on other sites
julieg Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 kevin, i broke up with my high school sweetheart of 4 years for basically the exact same reasons you are feeling and it has come back to haunt me somewhat now 20 years later. when i was 21 i too broke up with a great relationship that was going well and probably heading toward engagement etc for the same feelings you are having. it was so hard to do at the time and often lonely -i spent many moments crying about what i had done. lately i wistfully have been imagining what my life would have been like had i stayed with my highschool sweetheart. i probably would have been still married to him but not as "settled" in my decision as i am with my husband. you see my highschool sweetheart did not want to wait for me and that was why we never got back together. also it is possible that after we broke up and got back together in our mid to late twenties we may have grown in different directions. you see kevin there is no perfect decision when it comes to love and growing up. you are in a catch-22 as if you don't break up and marry this gal you mayl always wonder "what if" and possibly one day have a mid-life crisis as a married man/father that ends up hurting a lot of people. just read the area of this website on infidelity etc. you need to get this out of your system now. if she doesnt understand and ends up falling in love with another (and you find she was definately the "one") then that is the real hard part--its a gamble you have to take. either way you are taking a chance! hope this helps. julieg Link to post Share on other sites
Kathy1296 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 I think you need to make sure this is what you want. What happens if you find the grass is not greener on the other side (meaning she is the one for you after all) ? She may end up finding someone else and being happier with them. Then you will be sitting there wondering why you did such a thing. Maybe you are just scared of a true commitment? No relationship is perfect. Please think this through very well before you decide what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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