tkgirl Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Here's the story: Last week I went to a concert, had a great time and ended up sort of hooking-up with a very cute, but much younger man. It was just an "in-the-moment" sort of thing, started off with innocent flirting, then he moved down into the seat next to mine - we danced and watched the concert together - until the last 15 minutes when we couldn't stop kissing and ended up missing the rest of the concert! It was so fun - he was so sweet and now I can't stop thinking about what happened. Not that I want HIM, because I know it was just one of those things - but I find myself thinking how I really want someone younger than me now. Maybe it's because I just had a birthday - I'm now 38, but I feel (and look!) much younger. I'm pretty content with my life the way it is - very independent, good career, and basically I lead a pretty full life doing all the things I love to do - active stuff like surfing, horseback riding etc. and I'm even currently training for my first triathlon! Anyways, I just see myself being happier with someone younger, probably because I feel so young myself! Is this wrong? I'm talking like mid-to-late twenties! Another plus I see is that a younger guy is less likely to have NO BAGGAGE, no kids, ex-wives and basically no hang-ups. Anyways, I'd love to hear from anyone with similar feelings or experiences! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Go for whatever you want in life. There's nothing wrong with wanting a younger man. However, I would think that a better way to set your goals would be simply to want a man who can share your life exactly as you would like to have it...no matter what his age might be. The perfect match for you may be a guy YOUR own age who looks ten years younger. Go for anything you want...just be open minded about it. For that matter, the girl of my dreams may have not even been born yet....who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Thor Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Originally posted by Tony For that matter, the girl of my dreams may have not even been born yet....who knows? Tony, As the father of a toddler, I find your last remark to be horrific and disgusting. However, as a man in his early 30's, I also find your last remark as being...intriguing. Thanks for my thought of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 YOU WRITE: "As the father of a toddler, I find your last remark to be horrific and disgusting." You have my absolute guarantee I will not come close to your toddler. As I said, the girl of my dreams may not yet have been born! Yes, I know you are just being cute. No offense taken whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Thor Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Sorry, didn't mean to imply anything there. I thought I was being cute, and didn't realize how my remark came across. Back to your original thought though. If my dream girl has yet to be born as well (if I adopted your theory), then she'd better hurry up and be born soon lest I be too old to do anything about it when she turns 21 or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted August 18, 2003 Author Share Posted August 18, 2003 I was really hoping to hear from some older WOMEN who have had similar feelings or experiences with younger guys. Tony, you started off with some good advice - then Thor came along and things just got a little too creepy. So, please - can we get off the pedophile subject now ? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 There's not really anymore advice anybody can give. You need to go for what you want. Now keep in mind that in time, this younger man may evolve into wanting a younger woman and that may result in hurt for you. But you can't live your life on "what if's". Just go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted August 18, 2003 Author Share Posted August 18, 2003 It's been a while since I've used this website, but I can always count on you for sensible advice! Was just hoping for more responses that's all... then that little chat between Thor and yourself got too weird for me. Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Like everything else, it depends on what you want. All my guys but one were younger than me but none more than ten years younger. You may find that guys in their twenties don't know themselves well - which may or may not bother you. You could just go Demi and have yourself a fling or two. I had a pal who often took up with much younger men. It didn't bother her at all that they didn't have the same life experience as her. Me, I don't want to have to explain how life works to someone - and most people only manage to know the million details of conducting a life by living long enough to learn them. OTOH, if you want to be the one in the couple who knows how to arrange funerals and hire contractors and buy and sell houses and all that other stuff, go ahead. It is sure nice not to have the whole burden when things like that come along, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 interesting post, wish i'd read it back in august. we have two things in common; feeling younger than we are, and knowing a "tkgirl." in fact, searching for tkgirl brought me to the loveshack site. i met my tkgirl almost everyday this past summer. i'd have a few beers and watch AMC with her, sometimes sharing lunch while she'd pre-tend bar. very slowly we began to exchange more information, and the more i learned about her sensativity, intelligence, likes, and humor, the deeper i fell in love. never any physical contact. when i thought she may be feeling the same way, i let her know about my very heavy "baggage." i know, especially now that it was very bad timing. tkgirl had developed what she later described as a "crush" on me. only in hindsight can i explain that i hadn't been in love for years, missed the feeling, and wanted more. i also never imagined she felt the same way. now she's moving away, and i'll probably never see her again. she accused me of being a coward for staying in my empty marriage. i agreed, but also pointed out that it wouldn't be any "braver" to leave the 3 collaterally damaged children. the more i consider it the more i feel she was right; the the real reason for hanging on to what i have is because fear of the unknown. Link to post Share on other sites
Minus Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Well Im a guy, but I use to date someone who was 15 years older than me (I was 20, and she was 35). It went well for a while but in the end it didnt work out. It turned out that she was 2 damn immature. Im not saying Im mature, but I know when to act like an adult sometimes and when 2 act like a 12 year old...that sounded wierd. Anyway, there really is nothing wrong with wanting younger men. Hell if older guys can date younger women, why cant women date younger guys? Just make sure you dont get a whiner, and someone who cant act like an adult most of the time. (FYI: Dont get me wrong, nothing wrong with acting like a little kid, its just that theres a time and place for it;) ) Link to post Share on other sites
AllyKat Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 I am not in my thirties, but in my late twenties. I dont want a younger guy! All the ones I know are not done sewing their wild oats! I mean, if you want that..go for it. Everyone has baggage...know that. Not just older people. His baggage will just be different. Link to post Share on other sites
Juicy Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 I've been emotionally involved with a younger guy (only 4 yrs younger but i'm 29) and I am married to an older guy (by 3 yrs). I guess I can't speak to the age difference you are talking about but I think that the changes that go on in your 20's are substantial. So, huge difference between early 20's and late 20's. Ya, if you are looking to experience with the youthful ways of thinking (carefree, daring, etc) then spending some time with a younger guy is a nice experience. Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 heheh.. Juicy lmao ok well.......... Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 It depends on the man, and it depends on the woman nothing is wrong with the age gap, if the two people have chemistry, and have good strong communication. Infact - I would consider two people of the same age with bad communication to be a thousand times worse off than 2 people of different ages with good communication. younger guy is less likely to have NO BAGGAGE, no kids, ex-wives Every person alive, has baggage. of some kind, or another. Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 My last signif relationship she was 18 years younger then me. Its been almost a year since "break-up day" I know, I know, I think I know what you might be thinking! I was already scolded by Tony... But it wasn't like that at all...we got along great, no one really guessed us at being more than 5 to 10 years apart, and we had way too much in common. We rode motorcycles together, she rode, I rode, etc, etc. Anyway not to bore you all. I think what did it in for us was my lack of attention to her, not doing the things a relationship needs to survive. Well...we are not together anymore, but its really more the fault of ignorance of relationship then of age difference. At least I'd like to believe so. We do have a beautiful daughter between us, she is 2.5 y.o. absolutely beautiful. she is adopted and I love her very much. So the point is I guess its not how old you are, but WHO you are. I see her still struggling to balance her life. Nothing serious like drugs/alcohol, just being 26 I guess... Thank god I see my little girl at least 50% of the time. I'm there for her! Sorry to ramble on here! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tkgirl Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 Strange that this thread started up again, when I originally started the post over 4 months ago! It's funny too, because I just had a similar experience again last weekend! I went snowboarding and met another cute, sweet and YOUNGER man! I just decided that's what I attract and what I'm more attracted to... so why fight it? Anyways, I appreciate the input - I especially liked when a few of you said that we ALL have baggage of some type or another (myself included!) I needed to hear that... Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 tkgirl, I totally agree with you. it has nothing to do with the "trophy bride" syndrome at all. I have a much harder time being around someone close to my age because it seems like there's nothing in common. I've tried it and well... Not good. Plus I never changed as I grew up, just added life's responsibilities, etc. No "mid-life" crisis. Don't have time for it. I like to play and sometimes play hard. By that I mean I'm busy all the time. Cheers to you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 I will come out of the closet about this issue. I am indeed more attracted to older women. Mind you, not TOO old, but 28, 29, 30, 31 that for me is my most attractive woman. Cause they tend to be much more mature, and often they are more empathetic, sympathetic... but i hate generalizing about things like that. Secret note: I also really like 19, 20, 21's.. but they dont make relationship material usually.. (again sorry for the generalizations..) hehehe.. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 but i hate generalizing about things like that. (again sorry for the generalizations..) Hallelujah! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 A man's age...or lack of it....is about as important to me as how long his thumb nail is. It makes no difference and has no bearing on the relationship. Love has a wonderful way of weaving thru all the 'stigmas'. You GO GIRL....and have yourself a great time!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 I'm 35 Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 last year i was in a relationship with a guy that was 20 and iam 34 now, the relationship lasted 9 months..... and he was the best medicine for me..... however thats all i seem to attract as well,,,, and since him ive made a rule to myself NEVER to date anyone YOUNGER than 30...... not that i regret it.... i just want someone whom is around the same age as me.... and not be able to sit with my son hours on end and play damn video games. Link to post Share on other sites
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