Getting over a celeb obsession/crush.

[one goal]

Hi everyone. I'm new. Anyways I have a question. What is the best way to get over a celeb crush? You see mine is kinda serious. I'm a 24 soon to be 25 yr old guy, and I have a bit of a crush on a celeb. Her name is Katharine McPhee. She was on American Idol, and she's now a actor and singer.

 

Anyways I became a fan of her's during Idol in 2006. She's known about me since summer of 2006. You see I posted on her first fan site and forum. I used to post how I wanted to date her, think shes hot, want to sleep with her ect. Anyways she was told about me, so was her mom and she even saw some of my post and complained.

 

Anways over the months it got worse. I mean like when the Idol tour came to st louis they had extra security I heard. I went to the show but was unable to meet her cause she didnt come out to sign autographs. I was pretty upset I didnt get to meet her. Anyways after that It only got worse especially last year. Anyways last year I finally met Katharine! I went to her concert at Six Flags and got to meet her after the show. She knew who I was and was kinda hesitant around me when I asked her for a hug she said "no sorry I cant" shes never said that to a fan before. Well things only got worse after that when I was banned from her fanclub. When she took her myspace over last fall last year I started messaging her, and I message her everyday. She reads them but never replies to me. Fans also report stuff to her people what I say and do on the forums. Like when I wasbanned from her fanclub last year I was so upset, I looked up Katharine's phone number and thought about calling her, or writing a letter to her house. I didn't though because I felt it was wrong. She found out about it and I apologized to her though. I dont think she likes me much though. Last Oct I had the fanclub moderator who also happens to be the only one who has kats email addy, friends with kat agree to send a letter from me to her along with some other fan gifts. Since I didnt apologize to her when I met her at six flags for all the stuff I did. Anyways The fanclub moderator asked Kat what she thought of my letter. Kat wouldnt reply to her, then she had her people to tell them not to send kat anymore stuff from me.

 

Anyways I message Katharine everyday on myspace, and she has my phone number and that, but she never contacts me. What should I do.

 

I know she's a married woman now, but she'sthe prettiest girl I've ever met, and I'm just so into her. I want to continue being a fan of her, but I know I can't keeping going on like this. If i had a girlfriend I think it would take my mind off Kat. It's that kat is everything I like in a girl especially looks wise.

[Lucky_One]

Hi everyone. I'm new. Anyways I have a question. What is the best way to get over a celeb crush? You see mine is kinda serious. I'm a 24 soon to be 25 yr old guy, and I have a bit of a crush on a celeb. Her name is Katharine McPhee. She was on American Idol, and she's now a actor and singer.

 

Anyways I became a fan of her's during Idol in 2006. She's known about me since summer of 2006. You see I posted on her first fan site and forum. I used to post how I wanted to date her, think shes hot, want to sleep with her ect. Anyways she was told about me, so was her mom and she even saw some of my post and complained.

 

Anways over the months it got worse. I mean like when the Idol tour came to st louis they had extra security I heard. I went to the show but was unable to meet her cause she didnt come out to sign autographs. I was pretty upset I didnt get to meet her. Anyways after that It only got worse especially last year. Anyways last year I finally met Katharine! I went to her concert at Six Flags and got to meet her after the show. She knew who I was and was kinda hesitant around me when I asked her for a hug she said "no sorry I cant" shes never said that to a fan before. Well things only got worse after that when I was banned from her fanclub. When she took her myspace over last fall last year I started messaging her, and I message her everyday. She reads them but never replies to me. Fans also report stuff to her people what I say and do on the forums. Like when I wasbanned from her fanclub last year I was so upset, I looked up Katharine's phone number and thought about calling her, or writing a letter to her house. I didn't though because I felt it was wrong. She found out about it and I apologized to her though. I dont think she likes me much though. Last Oct I had the fanclub moderator who also happens to be the only one who has kats email addy, friends with kat agree to send a letter from me to her along with some other fan gifts. Since I didnt apologize to her when I met her at six flags for all the stuff I did. Anyways The fanclub moderator asked Kat what she thought of my letter. Kat wouldnt reply to her, then she had her people to tell them not to send kat anymore stuff from me.

 

Anyways I message Katharine everyday on myspace, and she has my phone number and that, but she never contacts me. What should I do.

 

I know she's a married woman now, but she'sthe prettiest girl I've ever met, and I'm just so into her. I want to continue being a fan of her, but I know I can't keeping going on like this. If i had a girlfriend I think it would take my mind off Kat. It's that kat is everything I like in a girl especially looks wise.

 

You should start seeing a psychiatrist. You are bordering on being a stalker. She doesn't contact you bc you are frightening and she doesn't want to have anything to do with you.

 

Good luck.

[Green]

Your completly insane and thats why I like you. When ever a girl says something to me like jokingly calling me a stalker or what ever I say something like " Please I would only stalk a celebrity". Anyways if she knows who you are and is scared of you that is nothin to be proud of. If you had a gf that would definetly or should definetly solve this problem but I'm sure you'd be crazy with ur gf... Tell me have you ever had a real gf before??? you don't really know this celeb you just tricked urself into thinking you do. And yes she is hot and lots of guys would F her but dude there are tons of hotter single chicks in your area who would just cave under the kind of stalking pressure ur putting on mcphee.. if you put half this energy onto the girls in your area who arnt famouse you would be screwing them right now and you could even pretend they were mcphee. Heck there are girls who look just like her. Good luck man take my advice stalk a girl in your area

[Citizen Erased]

Your completly insane and thats why I like you. When ever a girl says something to me like jokingly calling me a stalker or what ever I say something like " Please I would only stalk a celebrity". Anyways if she knows who you are and is scared of you that is nothin to be proud of. If you had a gf that would definetly or should definetly solve this problem but I'm sure you'd be crazy with ur gf... Tell me have you ever had a real gf before??? you don't really know this celeb you just tricked urself into thinking you do. And yes she is hot and lots of guys would F her but dude there are tons of hotter single chicks in your area who would just cave under the kind of stalking pressure ur putting on mcphee.. if you put half this energy onto the girls in your area who arnt famouse you would be screwing them right now and you could even pretend they were mcphee. Heck there are girls who look just like her. Good luck man take my advice stalk a girl in your area

 

Now that is insane.

 

More like pick someone to stalk with a bit of talent at least. Someone from Idol? Like wtf.

[one goal]

I don't know if Kat would consider me a stalker, but certainly a persistant fan. Her fans think I'm her first stalker though. She knows alot about me.

[Green]

I don't know if Kat would consider me a stalker, but certainly a persistant fan. Her fans think I'm her first stalker though. She knows alot about me.

 

so have u ever had a gf?

[Jilly Bean]

If you keep this up, you will wind up in prison.

 

Your manufactured attachment is NOT normal nor healthy.

 

As Lucky suggested - seek professional help immediately.

[jen's mind]

This is not healthy behavior. You are not displaying a grasp of reality. You have invented this 'relationship' with her in your own head, and you have no awareness of normal interaction and boundaries.

 

Regardless of whether you've ever had a girlfriend, you should talk to a therapist and try to get a grip. You are way too old to be this caught up in imagination.

[Green]

Nah I say if you never had a gf that is your problem right there

[theobserver]

First off, if you can afford it and you have the balls please seek some help perhaps a group help session with other people who have similar obessions with celebs it actually happens a lot.

 

There comes a time whever most of us will down right worship or fancy the pants off a celebrity most of us get over it and realise it's just a fantasy mixed in with hype sticking them on pedastools. Most of us get over it move on with our lives we might still like them but it's not on our minds 24/7. Others may downright worship them as Gods on earth.

 

It's very hard to put down someone for this many people will devote a part of their life for a sports team spend money that could be on their family for a high priced ticket? I know husbands and wifes that if given the chance would drop their spouse like a hot brick if a celebrity wanted to be with them romantically. So I can see where you are coming from.

 

 

However come on man, YOU ARE borderline stalking her, just one more step and you'll cross the line. You can read every bio, look at every picture and you just wont know her and sadly she doesn't want to know you. She's scared of you mate, she does not want to know you please respect that. You need to back off cut the contact and just enjoy her from afar and slowly try to stop reading about what she's doing. Take up a new hobby.

 

Do you have a girlfriend/wife? it's a cliché but you need to get laid, never put a woman on a pedastool especially one so out of reach there's always a tiny chance a celebrity could be interested in your average joe but

1. You creep her the f*ck out .

2. she's in a happy relationship

3. you creep her the f*ck out.

 

I'm 100% sure there's another girl out there just waiting for you who really does share your interests, will find you interesting but you need to wake up and start living life for YOU again not some singer.

 

Right now you need to get back on track.

I do not want to see you on the news one day having done something stupid my friend, and you do not want to go to prison. Believe me or you might find your backside becomes the focus of some new fans .

[D-Lish]

You are a stalker.

or you are a troll poster.

Either way- seek help.

of course she didn't want to hug you when she met you face to face- you terrify her. Wtf?

[jen's mind]

Do you have a girlfriend/wife? it's a cliché but you need to get laid, never put a woman on a pedastool especially one so out of reach there's always a tiny chance a celebrity could be interested in your average joe but

1. You creep her the f*ck out .

2. she's in a happy relationship

3. you creep her the f*ck out.

 

I'm 100% sure there's another girl out there just waiting for you who really does share your interests, will find you interesting but you need to wake up and start living life for YOU again not some singer.

 

Right now you need to get back on track.

I do not want to see you on the news one day having done something stupid my friend, and you do not want to go to prison. Believe me or you might find your backside becomes the focus of some new fans .

 

Now that's a healthy slap of reality. Heed it, man.

[Green]

I always wanted to be celebrity stalker. I bet I'd be good at it too. I'd probably suceed in screwing my celebrity. I'd be like Matt dillons character in something about marry. Your horible stalker, if you really wanted a chance with this girl you would have stalked her right, u did it all wrong, you have to have just the right amount of creep and fear mixed in with mystery and promise

[reservoirdog1]

YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE WITH HER. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER.

 

Repeat that to yourself as often as you have to. Even if there was a chance once, in the beginning -- which there most likely wasn't -- that chance is now gone, because to speak frankly, you ARE stalking her.

 

Being a stalker doesn't require that you follow somebody physically at a distance. It simply requires that you have obsessive thoughts about somebody and act on them in some manner designed to get their attention. That's exactly what you're doing.

 

Dude, seek professional psychiatric help immediately. Because -- and I'm not being flippant here -- nobody here wants to read someday that you've done something foolish. Reading what you posted made me feel uneasy... it could have been John Hinckley writing about Jodie Foster (before shooting Ronald Reagan). What you've got going on is, among other things, totally unhealthy for you.

 

Get help. Please.

[jen's mind]

I always wanted to be celebrity stalker. I bet I'd be good at it too. I'd probably suceed in screwing my celebrity. I'd be like Matt dillons character in something about marry. Your horible stalker, if you really wanted a chance with this girl you would have stalked her right, u did it all wrong, you have to have just the right amount of creep and fear mixed in with mystery and promise

 

When the real stalkers start dissing you, you know you've got a problem.

[Green]

I'm actualy trying to use humor to get through to this person, I've found that attacking a person dircetly instead of the problem stands a slim to none chance at being effective communication. I feel for this guy he is obviously reaching out for help and though it seems he hasnt set down a path to seriously put an end to his obsession this is atleast some kind of start

[paddington bear]

From: http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fv-vf/pub/har/part1.html

 

 

Erotomania is a delusional disorder in which the central theme is that another individual is in love with the stalker. The erotomanic stalker is convinced that the object of their attention, usually someone of the opposite sex, fervently loves them and would return the affection if it were not for some external influence. The person about whom this conviction is held is usually of a higher status than the stalker but is often not a celebrity. The victim could be their supervisor at work, their child’s paediatrician, their church minister or the police officer who stopped them for a traffic violation but did not charge them. Sometimes it can be a complete stranger.

Love obsessional stalkers, on the other hand, can be obsessed in their love without possessing the belief that the victim loves them.4 Very often, the love obsessional stalker suffers from a major psychiatric illness, such as schizophrenia or mania, and wants to “win” the love of their victim.

 

 

I agree with the others, you call it a 'crush', it is not a crush. It is an obsession. You are upsetting and scaring the person that you claim to adore. If you truly had feelings for this person, who let's face you do not actually know at all, you would refrain from posting things on her fanboard that upset her and that other posters object to, nor would you continually turn up at events and ask for hugs etc. She has obviously warned security personel to be on the look out for you, which means she is not comfortable with your level of worship. You have built her up into something she is not and what you feel about her is in your mind as she is not a 'real' person that you have had any kind of relationship with. You have endowed her with qualities and a personality based on what you've read about her, interviews you've seen and your vivid imagination - mostly your imagination.

 

 

My worry here is that if you do not get over this and soon, your obsession over her with turn into anger at being rejected (as you may see it) and could lead to actions that you would very much regret later on. Finding her phone number and even considering calling her her is not ok, it is scary. Really. To her you are a fan who has gone overboard and to find out you have her number...if it was me I'd be really afraid. Maybe you have no bad intentions whatsoever, but she doesn't know that and nothing you can say or do will convince her otherwise as your actions thus far have shown you to be obsessive. You have gone beyond an ordinary fan, who enjoys the music, will watch an interview, go to a concert and say 'wow, she's great' to something else. You are trying to force your way into this unsuspecting woman's life instead of simply seeing her for what she is, a nice girl, whose music you like, but someone who you know nothing about and never will.

 

 

 

I realise it's hard when maybe there are not girls out there in your life for you to date or hang out with (or are there? And you are missing out on real relationships due to this celebrity 'crush' as you aren't aware of the existence of any other female, or maybe they don't match up to her?) and so perhaps you cling to this ideal woman and direct all your thoughts and hopes on to her.

 

 

 

But really it is not healthy or normal and I agree with the other posters, please do try to get professional help - I'm not saying you are crazy or whatever, just that for whatever reason you've hit a blip, a temporary glitch with this obsession. The very fact that you posted about it here shows that you know there is something wrong with the situation. You want to get over your crush and it seems that some kind of therapy would help with that.

 

 

 

In the meantime I would initiate the 'no contact' rule - since you seen to think you have some kind of relationship with this person, decide that it's time to move on, to break up with her. Do not look at or post to her fanpage, do not go to see her play. Do not, for God's sake tell her that you're not contacting her any more in the hopes for a reaction. Just stop everything that you've been doing so far. Take down any pictures you have of her and get this idealised woman out of your head and make an effort to go and meet real women and go on dates and one day you'll look back on this period of time and wonder at how you allowed yourself to get so hooked on a celebrity when there are so many fantastic girls out there for you to have a real connection with.

 

 

Best of luck.

[CaliGuy]

This is one of the most disturbing threads I have read in some time.

 

OP, you need help. You may not think you do, but you seriously need to speak to a Counselor to help you overcome your obsession with this celebrity. This is not healthy at all and could lead to some very dangerous behavior.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

you are a troll poster.

I agree. There's no way this can be real. I hope?

[nopainnogain]

Wtf..............

[dcgirl33]

Anit-Stalking laws are pretty strong all over the country. No one wants to end up with a dead former American Idol. I'll bet they've got all kinds of lawyers on this looking for a way to have your arrested or waiting on you to do somehting so that you can be arrested.

I bet you will lose your freedom before the year ends.

[BrooklynBridge]

this Katherine McPhee?? http://www.handbagdesigner101.com/images/img_celebrity/18/HUGE_katharine_mcphee.jpg

 

She's not even pretty at all......there, I've crushed everything you thought about your world. Bye bye obsession........I vote for Stalker too......

[carhill]

5150 ......

[one goal]

this Katherine McPhee?? http://www.handbagdesigner101.com/images/img_celebrity/18/HUGE_katharine_mcphee.jpg

 

She's not even pretty at all......there, I've crushed everything you thought about your world. Bye bye obsession........I vote for Stalker too......

 

that was a candid pic at the airport and it was warm outside. Here is a better one. I met her in person and shes the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

 

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

that was a candid pic at the airport and it was warm outside. Here is a better one. I met her in person and shes the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

 

Yes, I'm sure the glamour shots of her madeup and phosoppedup the wazoo are a more accurate representation of what she looks like than a candid picture!

 

Tell me you're a troll. Please! My worldview is shattering!!!