Milkflavor123 Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 I was in a terrible relationship before all of this happened. Everything about the relationship was terrible and I questioned myself all the time. I tried breaking up with the person, and nothing ever ever seemed to work. Finally one day, I met this guy, it was almost like a miracle, a blessing in disguise. I broke up with the horrible relationship and started spending all my time with the new guy. Everything we had was so passionate. Then one day his ex girlfriend came in the picture. I was still happy that I had met someone who took my mind off the horrible relationship that took me so long to get over. Even with the ex girlfriend back in the picture, the guy and I continued to talk. Almost having a relationship on the side. About 7 months, this continued. Him and I spent more time together then his girlfriend and him. So to me, it didnt bother me. After awhile, after my heart couldnt take anymore of him and I not actually having a relationship, it more or less just being a cheating fling , It started becoming less and less we would hang out, since he was still in love with this girl. I myself was having problems at home, and was about to move out of my house, and when I moved into this house, I starting dating one of my roommates. We got along so well, and I know its never a good idea to date a roommate. But I was falling for him and chose to disregard it. My feelings for the other guy were starting to fade, so everythiing was going good. Well the guy breaks up with his girlfriend and comes crawling to me, since now he is ready. At first, I was just polite with him, since I had found someone new. Then as time went by, I realized I was still secretly in love him. I tried to avoid my feelings, but everytime he would tell me how much he loved me. My heart would become weak, eventually leading to me cheating on my boyfriend. I felt terrible for what I had done, so i told my boyfriend. He forgave me since it was still very early in the relationship. I stopped talking to the guy for about a month, just to keep thinking about him since my boyfriend and I were having problems with him being addicted to drugs. I told my boyfriend that I still had strong feelings for this other guy and he tells me to stay with him while I get over the feelings for the other guy. Well now on month 9 with my boyfriend, I grew strong feelings for him. Where I felt it was love- but clearly its not if I am still thinking about this other guy still- plus him and I are still good friends. Its a weird situation- and I am confused. And I am pretty much an idiot, but h*** live and learn right. But now- in lust/love with two people. Am I still in love with this other guy because he is the one who saved me from the terrible realtionship? Link to post Share on other sites
sweet&simple Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 Why are you still friends with the original guy? You realize he cheated with you and when he ended up single again just came crawling back right? He doesn't love you, that's a ridiculous thing to claim considering he was with another person the entire time he was talking to you. As for the roommate, yeah.. it is a bad idea to date someone you live with. Especially when that someone has a drug problem. Here's my advice: date neither. Cheaters and drug addicts don't sound appealing. If you're this confused, obviously you have some issues you need to work out with YOURSELF before trying to commit to a relationship. If you're not sure why you're with someone, you shouldn't be with them. As for the other guy.. I think if you stopped talking to him you might actually give yourself a chance to get over him instead of holding on to the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Milkflavor123 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Share Posted September 17, 2008 Your right- holding on to him is pathetic. The drug issue on the other hand is no longer a problem. I almost left him for it and he stopped which is why I feel bad for having feelings in the first place for this other person who is a dumb a** I know I have issues though- Its not easy to hide. The person I dated for two years screwed with me so bad that I lost a lot of people for it. I was never able to get over him- even with him sleeping with my best friend. He was a manipulating loser. Then I start dating someone right after who I guess is basically the same person. Im too blind to see it. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 Well now on month 9 with my boyfriend, I grew strong feelings for him. Where I felt it was love- but clearly its not if I am still thinking about this other guy still- plus him and I are still good friends. Its a weird situation- and I am confused. And I am pretty much an idiot, but h*** live and learn right. But now- in lust/love with two people. Am I still in love with this other guy because he is the one who saved me from the terrible realtionship? Have you thought about breaking up with your 9 month boyfriend thinking maye he doesn't deserve this? Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 you need to learn how to be on your own before you get into relationships. It sounds to me like you have spent a lot of years jumping from one man to the next with no break in between. Your emotions are confused because you didn't allow your heart anytime to heal between these men...and you are likely not even in love with the man you are with now. You are probably still suffering from that first relationship you mentioned(self esteem wise). You should make an effort to make your life a little less complicated and leave this other man alone. Just focus on your current relationship and if that doesn't work out then spend some time alone before you move on again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Milkflavor123 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Share Posted September 17, 2008 I did try and break up with him. and I explained to him what was going on- that I still had feelings for this other guy. I even told him I cheated on him with this other guy. He cried to me and told me not to leave him and that he would work with me through it. It was hard enough to even tell him in the first place that I still liked this other person, and when he cried. I didn't know how to react. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 I did try and break up with him. and I explained to him what was going on- that I still had feelings for this other guy. I even told him I cheated on him with this other guy. He cried to me and told me not to leave him and that he would work with me through it. It was hard enough to even tell him in the first place that I still liked this other person, and when he cried. I didn't know how to react. You say, sorry, sex is better with my X. I'm moving on. And walk out. you can handle that can't you? Link to post Share on other sites
sweet&simple Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 I agree that your current boyfriend doesn't deserve this and I think it would be very beneficial for you to be on your own and take care of yourself for a while. I understand that he has told you not to leave him etc... but there is no "trying to break up," you either do it or you don't do it. He doesn't get to call the shots in a break up.. you do. It's your choice, not his. Link to post Share on other sites
MindsEyeBlind Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Ditch the original guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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