unhappy cos needs not being met?

[djidzou]

For the first 5 months he took me out every weekend to the cinema, restaurants, we spent lots of time together, he came round during the week too, every now and then we'd go round his family's house for a barbecue.We practically spent the whole weekend together.

 

However, this past month my bf changed.

 

He didn't want to take me out. When we did go out he made sure we didn't go to a restaurant and since thats what I was used to I hadn't eaten before we left.I thought at least he could have told me so I could have eaten before hand.

 

Once he made a comment about a nice restaurant and I said we could go there and he said in a grumpy tone that he had no money. He had always paid for me 'with pride' in the past.

 

And now the past few weeks he avoids taking me to his family's house. Or he goes, eats and comes back to me.

 

Also, he has been working some late shifts the past couple of weeks to and comes to my house late at night, but we don't go out at all.

 

Last week we had a rough patch, plus I didn't get to see him much, he didn't call much. He came round on saturday night, said he missed me and was very loving.

 

And on sunday morning started talking of our future, communicated really well. But then he said he had to leave and go to his family's for a barbecue. Again he didn't invite me. I said ok and later he asked me quickly 'you don't want to come do you? you can if you want'

 

But I got the impression he wished I would say no. So I said no. And he didn't press for me to go like he usually would.

 

Then he said we could all go for a drink later. I asked who 'all' were and he said the gang. These are a group of his friends.

 

I was a bit disappointed cos we hadn't seen eachother much, had the rough patch and I believe we needed the alone time especially since we haven't been going out much or spending much time together at all .

 

And I was also disappointed that he didn't want to spend alone time with me too. I must have looked like I wasn't sure cos he said he'd call me later to check if I want to go.

 

When he called he said 'you either come or you don't, but I am going'. And that he'd call me later again cos he was gonna have a nap.

 

When I realized I preferred alone time with him and thats why the thought of going out with the gang didn't appeal to me I texted him explaining how I felt about it.

 

He called and kept asking me to go and when I didn't give in he seemed to get an angry tone.

 

I really feel that my needs are not being met this month, I feel that he has taken away things he used to do and time he used to spend with me for no reason, with no explanation. I did not ask him to take me out so much or spend so much time with me, I felt its what he wanted.

 

But I get the feeling he resents me for it and somehow I feel punished this month.

 

His words are 'you are my priority' words of love, promises of the future. But his actions this month are bordering on the mean. I feel thrown to one side. And if I don't like what he is dishing out he gets angry and withdraws. Then he gets over it and apologizes and it has been a pattern or cycle this month.

 

Whats going on, is it a phase? Is it his true self now?

 

Its like one the one hand he is the knight in shining armour and on the other hand he is the evil villain.

 

All I know is that I am unhappy now.

 

Do you think I should talk to him about it?

 

If so, how should I handle it? What should I say? or what shouldn't I say?

[niko1999]

Well, what it sounds like is that the honeymoon phase is over. Right now, he has been kind of bitten by what is going on by the two of you , and is a little freaked out by it probably. Guys get frightened with the relationhsip easily, a lot easier than we do(generally). Be patient, and give it some time, things will turn out one way or another, and when they do, youll know. But dont push it o him, becuse it will make things worse, believe it or not.