Stuck in a rut.

[silentcharon]

Hello all,

 

I'm stuck in a rut. I used to be passionate about painting, taking pictures and so on- that was a couple of years ago. Now all I'm interested in is passing my courses at school and simply living. I have to struggle to be a good employee at work because I can't afford to lose my job, and struggle to finish my projects on time because I want good marks. I suppose I'm a good student but.. like my job, it's a struggle. I used to be so passionate about these things. I feel dead inside, and I've been struggling to find the passions I used to have. How do I reignite the torch??

 

I don't want to simply live my life. I want to be HAPPY, and I have no idea where to start. I hardly show emotions in public, that's how dead I am. I don't want to be the walking dead. I want to be able to show my happiness and whatever else emotions I may be feeling instead of burying it. I feel like I'm a boring person because of this. Any ideas what I can do to change this? Or my attitude?

 

You might say I'm depressed- I'm chronically depressed and have been on anti depressants for a few years now. I don't think that's it- all it does is regulate my moods better so that when I hit a low, it's not rock bottom. It may be a factor though.

 

Help!

[Angel1111]

Taking anti-depressants for years is going to backfire on you eventually, if it hasn't already. See if you can get off of those things and go to a dr. who will prescribe you something for your hormones. They have a HUGE impact on how we feel and how we view the world. Some dr's will give you tests for your hormones and tell you that you're fine. It's hard to detect sometimes. There's something out there called bio-identical hormones and even though they're expensive, there are some dr's that practice using those and regular (i.e. cheaper) hormones who will be able to identify your problem better than most dr's. It may be worth a shot.

 

It sounds like you have a lot to live for, and seems more like a chemical or hormonal reaction in your body. I've never been on anti-depressants but once I started taking hormones, my whole mental attitude changed. I just had this 'what's the whole point in life' attitude; a very low-level but persistent type depression.

 

Keep in touch and let us know how you are.

[silentcharon]

Hormones? What sort of hormones are you talking about? I wasn't aware that something like that could help. To tell you the truth, I don't like how I feel on the anti depressants, but it is certainly a better alternative than feeling like crap all the time. So I am somewhat hesitant about coming off them, because I hear that people go through crazy withdrawal symptoms coming off them. I'm aware that it can screw me up after a few years- it was either this or sign a deal with the devil for life.

[Kristine]

Is there any way you can incorporate some of your painting into your schedule? I know school is important, I returned to complete my degree myself. But you have to find balance, you're out of balance which is why you're feeling the way the you do. As far as going off the meds, that's a bad idea. Speak with doctors before making any kind of changes like that. Talk with your family doctor about hormonal options first.

[westrock]

I don't want to simply live my life. I want to be HAPPY, and I have no idea where to start. I hardly show emotions in public, that's how dead I am. I don't want to be the walking dead. I want to be able to show my happiness and whatever else emotions I may be feeling instead of burying it. I feel like I'm a boring person because of this. Any ideas what I can do to change this? Or my attitude?

 

This may sound simplistic, but two very simple suggestions you can do right now to be happy: make a list of 3 things you are grateful for, even it is as simple as "I am so grateful that I used to paint!".... the other thing is when you are at work next time, make an effort to smile at everyone you meet that day.

[beautifulearth83]

Hey there. Don't die for your art. Do what you need to do to stay stable and happy. What you feel right now is what you would consider happiness if you were at rock bottom. You've probably come a longer way that you realize. You have a job and you go to school, you have your youth and you're keeping busy.

 

As for your art, you just need to be inspired. Listen to some music you used to listen to in the old days or look at some art you used to like back then. Search for new and exciting things. Take an art class. Have fun with life. Shake it up.