shortc8k Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 I've been dating this man for about a month. It started out too fast, but after a week we slowed things down to a slower pace. He would take me out on romantic dates about 2 or 3 times a week. Afterwards, we would go back to my place and and hold each other and talk about everything, from hopes and fears to favorite movies, until about 2 a.m. On the weekends he would spend the night. There was no sex involved after the first week, but there was "2nd base" action. We get along extremely well and he has opened my eyes to new ways of seeing myself and the world. Six days ago he told me that he wasn't sure what he wanted in his life right now and because of that he felt like he was leading me on and it made him feel guilty. He said he just wanted to be friends for right now until he got things figured out. [We both got out of long relationships (his-4 years, mine-3years) over 8 months ago] I told him that was fine and that I would be here for him if he needed anything or anyone to talk to. I called him two days later and left a message telling him that I appreciated his honesty and hoped that we could be friends and said that when he was ready for a relationship, I hoped he would keep me in mind. I haven't called him since then (4 days ago) because I thought he needed space and he hasn't called me. Was this the right thing to do? Do you think he'll call? I really like this man and I want to give him the space he needs, but I don't want lose contact, even if all we will ever be is just friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Since he has alread expressed having feelings of guilt, your very sweet call probably made him feel even more so. I think you did the right thing, though, but I just have a strange feeling that you are way too kind for this guy. If you want to reserve a spot in your heart for him, by all means do so but I hope you will considering going out with other people. Meanwhile, don't call him or contact him in any way again. And during this separation, leave 85 percent of the contact up to him no matter how tempted you may be. I know it's hard sometimes. Your relationship, it sounds, ran sort of a weird course....no sex after the first week. It's usually much the other way. I think this was something that started off way too fast...don't ever do that again for your own sake. I also have a strange feeling you were much too nice to him. Believe it or not, some guys aren't very mature and get bored when everything is going without a hitch. But don't change, you'll find a sane, mature guy eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shortc8k Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 It's kind of difficult not to contact him again because he works with and is friends with my sister's boyfriend. So we will run into each other at times. I'm not sure how to handle those situations. He is an awesome guy and he's fun to hang out with and if I can't be his girlfriend I really would like to be his friend. He has a very positive influence on me. Link to post Share on other sites
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