Why did he delete his accounts, why do I keep checking, and why do I care so much?

[Islandgirl03]

If you read my other thread you know - broken up with "out of the blue".

 

We were Myspace and Facebook buddies, after the breakup I admit I checked his profile, I wanted to see when he would change his status to "single", and when he would move me from his "top 8", or when he would start deleting the pictures of us (three things that I hadn't done yet, we were 2 days into the breakup and I couldn't bring myself to do it yet). 2 days after the breakup he deleted his entire accounts. He didn't delete me as a friend; which I could kind of understand. Deleting me and putting himself on private would hurt, but I would understand. He deleted his entire accounts! Who does that?!

 

Even more concerning than that is why do I care so much??? I can't explain it but I do. I've actually become a crazy person and checked every single day to see if he has reopened an account (he hasn't, BTW).

[baby-boo]

hmmm i think its only natural to be curious.

 

i did the same thing, religiously...

 

you need to do stuff to take ur mind off it....

 

everytime you want to go on his account, think how it would appear if he could see you doing it. Imagine he knows about it everytime you go on - dont give him that satisfaction that he still means so much to you.

[CaliGuy]

You've got to wean yourself off the internet sleuthing. None of that is going to help you heal. When people here preach No Contact, we're not just talking about in person or on the phone. We mean any and all forms of contact with the ex, including myspace, facebook, etc. Stop checking up on him because no matter what he is up to, you don't control any of his actions or behavior and the situation is completely out of your control.

 

The only thing you do have control over is you. So put the focus on you and rebuilding your life. Friends, family, exercise, hobbies, self-improvement. Treat your ex like cancer and avoid him like the plague. That's the quickest way to heal and move on.

 

If he wants you, really wants you, he knows how to find you. And nothing will stop him. Not even no contact....

[carhill]

There are IP logging software hacks that can discern "who" is looking at a MS or FB account. Just so you know

 

If the BF deleted his accounts, maybe he's just done with that part of social life. No reflection on the OP. I know plenty of people who have. He might just be generally angry at the breakup and did a clean sweep.

 

In any event, you're broken up. Heal yourself and move on. What will be will be

[Travis300]

This sounds too much like me...I was and still am the same way. I deleted both my facebook and myspace accounts for a little while..but eventually made new ones and added her back.

 

I think that's what really holds some people back..is that you always have a way to see them without actually seeing them. I know it hasn't helped me one bit. You probably care so much because you feel you need to know what's going on with him..and now you have no way of knowing.

[thirtythree]

I cyberstalk my ex...It keeps him real. Totally counter-productive, I know.

[Intergalactic]

honestly, him deleting his accounts is the best thing he could do, for him and you. it's really hard to try and move on when you can see that your ex is moving on too - you WANT them to be pining over you. try not to obsess, there will be a way to contact him in future, once you are over him and if you'd like to be friends.

[D-Lish]

I suspect he deleted his accounts because it's his own way of healing, starting fresh. When I break up with someone I get rid of everything that has anything to do with them. I don't want to know what is happening in their lives, see pics of them moving on, hear their voice, or hear about what they are up to through friends.

 

If a mutual friend wants to gossip to me about an ex- I just ask them not to tell me.

 

It's so much easier to heal and move on when you aren't reminded of them or tempted to check on them.

[lonelyandfrustrated]

I have a friend who keeps deleting his blog and then starting another one and it's because he has problems with depression. He starts one on a high note and it eventually follows his downfall into depression and he sees that (and doesn't want anyone else to), so he deletes...gets through his 'thing'...and starts another.

 

Maybe your ex deleted because he doesn't want everyone to see him go his 'thing'. Once you start down a road on the 'net, it's easier to back up and start down a different road than it is to simply 'turn'. They're still turning in RL. Don't take the deletion personally. The internet is a face that we get to choose to show the world, whether it matches what's in the mirror or not.