Should i give up on him, and just say goodbye? Or should I wait it out

[brunette4u]

Bare with me, please. It's a long story, but I really need advice. I dated "jake" for almost 2 years now. The first year and a half was wonderful, besides a couple fights and immature doings, but we got over them, or perhaps not...but anyways. So, after 1 1/2 years of dating, i moved in with him and a roomate this summer b/c i did not have a place to live until August 1st. Well, after 2 months, we decided that the best thing for me to do is to move out, so I did. I also broke up with him b/c of several reasons. We never spent time together, he never made time for me, vice versa, we fought all the time, we just didn't get along. I love him so much, with all of my heart, we talked about marriage and everything before all of this happened. Ok, well now I want to get back with him, but he says he is too hurt, he doesn't want me to break up with him again...however, he does not seem HURT at all. It has been about a month since all of this happened, and we have hung out several times, even slept together...but he says he does not want to be attached, so forth. So now it is a slap in MY face, because I want him back even though he is rude to me...he gets mad at me when I ask him what's up with us, and he says I'm being so dramatic when I ask about us being together. I DO get upset because I love him, but I dont know if he is right for me because he has changed so much since I first met him. He is my first love. Any advice on what I should do? Should i give up on him, and just say goodbye? Or should I wait it out and let him miss me and figure out what he wants? We talk every other day but hang out only once every week or two. Can anybody help?

[Jefferson12]

Hey, I'm not sure. I totally feel where you're at though. I know very much, that i could be happy without my ex. I'm sure i could move on and find someone else eventually. It's just that, She's MY first love as well. I've dated girls before, been in little relationships, but this felt like the one, Now she says she needs space and needs to be on her own and do her own things without a boyfriend. I'm struggling with, Do I move on? because if she truly loved me, she wouldn't leave in the first place. OR do I stick by her and suffer it out until she figures out if she wants me back or not. BIGGEST mistake ever was Moving in together. That doesn't help things!!!! Now i'm still living with her and it's sad, since i have to see her everyday and all i can think about is when we first met and all the fun we had together. She's changed a bit too. She's kind of different.

But i still love her. Sorry, i don't feel like i helped any, but, just from what i've seen on these boards, seems like we just need to get on with our own lives and focus on US for the time being, eventually everything will possibly come clear. I hope.

[Sarrow]

Same boat pretty much. Lost love. The first Love at that. I have to move on, even though it is keeping me up at nights, and she is still around. It is tougher on me then anything i have done in the past, or experienced. It sucks, my best advice is to go - depart from thier company for awhile, untill that is all over with. Then try and work on building a friendship.

 

Departing company, is THE toughest thing to endure. It sucks, but in the end you will get over it, and might even look back and think you were silly. I am experiencing all these things right now. And I have to say, after 2 or 3 weeks, I still get REALLY down, but I also have my ups.

 

Be smart...It seems time won't heal, but time always heals. Its hard at times for me to take my own advice and think they way I am saying right now. I know that can happen. College just started back up for me, so that helped alot, something occupy my time. And hopefully I will be getting a new job here, 5 days a week. Meaning,.. No day is not taken up except for the weekends. I am at school at sunrise till 2:15pm, then go to work 3pm to 10pm, come home do homework and do it again.

 

I am working on bettering myself. Be the best you can be, push yourself.

 

peace and good luck.

[brunette4u]

Thanks, Sarrow.

I feel like I can really relate to you, and thanks for your advice. It's good to hear that someone else is in the same position, or at least knows how I feel. Thanks again.