She says she wants me back but there's a problem...

[9Lives]

Harsh words... but the truth is often harsh. Thanks

 

i have been thru this ...here recently...except I have not talk to my ex even though it looks like he wants conversations.

 

I think the only reason she is coming back is because the other guy is not all into her so she is playing her cards. Your the back plan if...this guy doesnt work out..that is why she still has not broken up with him. If they work out....she is not going to get back with you.

 

You asked why she would treat you like that. It is not about who you are....this is who she is. Your learning her ways. Take the rose colored glass off and look at the real deal.

 

I suggest you spend more time on you and kick her ass to the curve. She is playing you because you arent man enough to put a stop to it and she knows it. Next time she wants to hook up....tell her you got a date. f/**** her up

[wmast]

i have been thru this ...here recently...except I have not talk to my ex even though it looks like he wants conversations.

 

I think the only reason she is coming back is because the other guy is not all into her so she is playing her cards. Your the back plan if...this guy doesnt work out..that is why she still has not broken up with him. If they work out....she is not going to get back with you.

 

You asked why she would treat you like that. It is not about who you are....this is who she is. Your learning her ways. Take the rose colored glass off and look at the real deal.

 

I suggest you spend more time on you and kick her ass to the curve. She is playing you because you arent man enough to put a stop to it and she knows it. Next time she wants to hook up....tell her you got a date. f/**** her up

 

 

Yes you are correct. I realized that she was using me as a fall back plan. I'm WAY better than that. I haven't contacted her and I don't plan on contacting her ever. She took advantage of me and once you cross that, there's no coming back. This is all just a lesson to me. I'm sure I will love again but I doubt I'll have my heart in it 100% as I did with her. So to say but it's true.

[9Lives]

Yes you are correct. I realized that she was using me as a fall back plan. I'm WAY better than that. I haven't contacted her and I don't plan on contacting her ever. She took advantage of me and once you cross that, there's no coming back. This is all just a lesson to me. I'm sure I will love again but I doubt I'll have my heart in it 100% as I did with her. So to say but it's true.

 

Well good for you. We have all been thru something like this and it is kinda blinding cause you think to yourself why would someone want to treat you likethat. But people apparantely will do this kind of stuff and they are looking for the suckers in life to do it to. I have been the sucker so I get it now. She is the loser because if you treated her good and she did not appreciate it, then shame on her. Finding someone to treat you with love and respect is not easy to find. Let her take her shady ways somewhere else. She a b/tch.

I would not be mean to her but I dont think she is good enough for you anymore. Just learn from it and do you with a smile on your face.

[You'reasian]

And one last piece of advice...

 

girlfriends are either pregnant or they are not - there's no such thing as half-pregnant - if they say they are in the morning and then tell you they aren't in the evening, consider yourself lucky for getting away from this woman.

 

Good luck.

[CaliGuy]

Yes you are correct. I realized that she was using me as a fall back plan. I'm WAY better than that. I haven't contacted her and I don't plan on contacting her ever. She took advantage of me and once you cross that, there's no coming back. This is all just a lesson to me. I'm sure I will love again but I doubt I'll have my heart in it 100% as I did with her. So to say but it's true.

 

Dude if she really felt the way she says she does, she'd be with you.

 

NEVER EVER believe what a S/O says. Believe what they do. Her words do NOT match her actions. Her words speak from her head. Her actions speak from her heart.

 

She doesn't want to break up with this guy. She's using you to boost her ego! She has two guys pining over her.

 

Trust me. If she really wanted you, she'd be beating down your door and would have broken up with that other guy whether or not you took her back.

[Konfuzion]

Wow let me try to say this without sounding too harsh... How does it feel to be her bitch?

 

You need to go NC with her and even if she does leave the other guy, she will just do this all over again. Kick her to the curb.

[You'reasian]

 

So just last week she invited me to her place for dinner. We, talked, joked, etc... Once the food was ready we sat down and began eating. Maybe 3 minutes into dinner, her phone rings. She asks to be excused and goes into another room. It was her boyfriend. I was fuming. 1st off, she’s not the type to leave the dinner table for a phone call period and secondly, I feel that it was total disrespect towards me. From the other room, I could hear that she was laughing and joking with him; the call lasted about 2 minutes. When she came back I showed my frustration. She just said, “I’m with him so I can’t just ignore his call”. I asked her what ever happened to her “being on the way out, and working on breaking up with him”. She said that it’s still the case, it’s just taking longer than she expected.

 

She is showing you how she treats her boyfriends. Grow a pair and break up.

 

At that time, I was very angry and told her I didn’t appreciate being played with and having my time wasted. She began crying saying that she wasn’t wasting my time and that she really wants a relationship with me, she just needs time to get out of her other relationship. I finished dinner then told her I had to go.

 

Never get involved with a woman who is currently in a relationship or still hasn't recovered from a divorce (or sig other). She needs alot more time to sort things out - really. I think her blatant behavior should be enough to convince you to go NC and look elsewhere...

[wmast]

She is showing you how she treats her boyfriends. Grow a pair and break up.

 

 

 

Never get involved with a woman who is currently in a relationship or still hasn't recovered from a divorce (or sig other). She needs alot more time to sort things out - really. I think her blatant behavior should be enough to convince you to go NC and look elsewhere...

 

 

I understand exactly what you're saying bro. But please realize that she was MY fiance then she left me and came back. I wasn't trying to get involved with her again. It was HER saying that she realized that she made a mistake leaving me and she wanted a 2nd chance. I said ok we can try again. BUT she delayed in leaving the other guy. So I've been NC ever since

[Simplycaroline]

I understand exactly what you're saying bro. But please realize that she was MY fiance then she left me and came back. I wasn't trying to get involved with her again. It was HER saying that she realized that she made a mistake leaving me and she wanted a 2nd chance. I said ok we can try again. BUT she delayed in leaving the other guy. So I've been NC ever since

 

None of this matters really or it shouldn't. The cold hard facts are that she was not and is not as sincere with her intentions are you are. She is one of those many flawed human beings that is arrogant enough to feel just fine with dangling you on a line. You want to know why she does it? Because she knows that she can. Because she knows that you will endulge her and this other guy probably won't play her game.

 

I know that you must have loved her dearly but you need to love and respect yourself so much more. If you have moved on, now that you have gotten your glimps keep on moving love. There is not much more to see and it will only result in more heart ache for you and an ego boost for her.

[wmast]

Ok. So I get a phone call from her but I didn't answer (I'm sticking to my no contact). She leaves a crying voicemail saying, "I thought you said you'd always love me, now you won't even talk to me, please call me". I just don't get it... I gave her the chance, she didnt take it, she stayed with the other guy, now she wants to talk to me? Just makes no sense... I don't get it. Part of me wants to call back but the other part of me wants this to just be over already! Any thoughts/ advice? Whenever she pops back into my life all she does is cause me pain. But I truly love her and I wish this situation between us never took place. It's like a bad addiction.

[Surfer Girl]

She has a bad addiction to him too... It may not be that easy for her to just cut it off and she is procrastinating.... Tough Love... you are doing the right thing... She may want you when she doesn't have you... and then want him when she doesn't have him... It could be a long process.... She can't have it both ways...

[Al_Bundy]

This is classic. You're her fallback guy

 

Exactly. So don't be there when she falls and let her ass hit the floor.

[BackonTrack]

I've seen this before.

I feel sorry for you, your ex girl friend is severly messed up in her mind.

Don't believe anything she is telling you, she will tell you anything just to get what she wants. She is psychologically damaged. She doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want to loose you. Now she's loosing you and she's sad, at the same time, she was only hanging out with you and coming over to for dinner because she hasn't reach that level of emotional connection that she has with you, with the other guy, but once she does, TRUST ME, TRUST ME, she's going to start acting really crazy and tell you to **** off.

 

Don't let her tears fool you, she knows EXACTLY what she's doing, don't fall for her games, trust me man, she's no good. Forget everything she tells you, don't for a second think she's in pain or in trouble, she KNOWS EXACTLY what she's doing. Best to go NC and forget about her, this women is not a good pick for a wife and if you would of married her, somewhere down the road she would of did this to you. She is showing you her TRUE COLORS, be happy you did not marry her and get stuck with her.

 

Can you imagine if she would of pulled this **** in 5 years when you were married and probably with kids? Do you know how messed up in the brain you would of been? Be happy this happen now prior to you geting married. Count your stars you did not end up with a women like her.

 

I've been through this, I have been through this, do not believe anything she tells you. If you do well, good luck to you. You'll be back here in another few years, this time it could be worst, probably when your married and have kids.

[BackonTrack]

So lets get this straight.

 

You wanted to Marry her? Do right by her and live happy right?

BUT

She left YOU??

And then immediately started having sex with another dude?

 

But realized it wasn't the same, so she came to hang out with her old "Friend" YOU to catch up n talk huh?

 

So you told her to leave the dude.

 

Her actions bascially told you NO, but she told you what you wanted to hear huh? (She still needs you for emmotional support and familirty while she slowly replaces you with this new dude whois ****ing her brains out)

 

So she wants to chit-chat and hang out with you

Then she goes home and lets some other dude **** her to death?

Then comes and eat dinner with you like everything is cool and fine?

 

Oh yeah, the reason U don't get it, is because she doesn't get it, she's confused, she's so confused, she's confusing the **** out of you.

 

Just now, her brain is really messed up, best to go NC, let her mind settle, going to take a while, maybe 2-3 months. By then she'll probably be addicted to this new guy and definately won't leave him unless he does something to **** it up.

 

She made her bed, She choose HIM. Just keep walking. She's no good

[wmast]

Thanks for your insight. This was the punch in the gut I needed. The thing is, she said that the guy treats her bad and that she wanted to leave him so badly- but she never did. I see things much more clearly now. In the beginning I stuck around while she was out having her fun with the new guy. I thought that being her friend would show her that I'm the 'better guy'. Obviously that never works so I went NC. When I went NC it drove her crazy. She was desperately trying to get ahold of me any way she could but I never responded. Then when I finally started talking to her again she would tell me that she wanted things to go back to normal and how sorry she was and how she'd leave the guy. So since I was back in her life she felt like everything was peachy so she got her cake and ate it too. But now that I'm NC again, she's doing the same thing all over again. I'll stay NC and as bad as I want to call her to see what she wants, even IF she said she wanted me back- how could I believe her? We already went through that process and she didn't take advantage of the second chance... Oh well. It really hurts because hearing her voice on the voicemail made me melt all over again but at the same time, if I allow her to keep this game up, I'll never heal. I've heard from her sister that she's on a downward spiral at work, at school, etc and I wish I could be there for her like I use to, but I can no longer do it. I can't continue to allow myself to be her crutch while she continues to hurt me.

Thanks for all of the responses!

[BackonTrack]

Hey man don't worry. Those feelings will go away and then you will truely realize the type of person your so called ex-fiance really is. U should be happy this happen now instead of in the future when your lifes were more interwine.

 

Right now your girl is having mental problems.

 

Its her fault, she should of atleast detached herself emotionally from you first before going head strong into the new guy. Now look what she's done, she messed up her own mind by allowing the next man inside her. She had a perfectly good thing and she threw it away for some temporary fun and instant gratification.

 

She made her own bed. She knew what she was doing. She probably subconsciously counted on you being there while she sured up this relationship. "I'll have XX just incase this doesn't work out, he loves me, he won't leave me no matter what"

 

Thats how she's thinking. You just threw a big phat wrench in her plans by going NC. Now your standing up for yourself.

 

 

Oh my god, her even taking the call while she was with you is a TOTAL SIGN OF DIS-RESPECT.

 

That girl is no good, I've seen this before.

 

AS SOON as her feelings is repiciated by this new jerk-off, she ditch you in a heart beat. Trust me on that. You won't get no more calls, no more nothing.

[SRV]

[i find her guily in 4 counts of deceiving, 2 counts of lying and sentence her to NC. Lol

 

:laugh: Is there a LS HALL OF QUOTES, this just stole all the thunder.:laugh:

[SRV]

Ok. So I get a phone call from her but I didn't answer (I'm sticking to my no contact). She leaves a crying voicemail saying, "I thought you said you'd always love me, now you won't even talk to me, please call me". I just don't get it... I gave her the chance, she didnt take it, she stayed with the other guy, now she wants to talk to me? Just makes no sense... I don't get it. Part of me wants to call back but the other part of me wants this to just be over already! Any thoughts/ advice? Whenever she pops back into my life all she does is cause me pain. But I truly love her and I wish this situation between us never took place. It's like a bad addiction.

 

 

I think this is the rule of thumb especially when it comes to us guys. I never go back. In her case with the procastination and all, therein lies your answer, take the blinders off. From her vm to you, if she too loved you, she would never have left in the first place. Life is too short to be unhappy, and if she causes you that much pain, do you want to revisit this over and over whilst other opportunities are passing you by?