piperlemon Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Anyone got any advice? Why does my girlfriend of 4 years, break up with me 3 weeks ago, tell me she needs to move out and have her own space to Find Herself, experience life on her own, no boyfriend.... yet, she still tries to hold my hand every now and then, motions for me to lay down on the couch with her and watch tv and wants to sleep in our bed with me and snuggle. Is she confused? I want to ask her why, if she's leaving, does she still act like she wants me....but i'm afraid if i ask, all the affection will stop and she'll just leave. She says she still loves me, but she wont kiss me. Someone please help me Understand!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 She is just being selfish, that's all. It's much easier for her to let herself down slowly than it is for her to leave you cold turkey. It also helps her ease her guilt if she lets you down gradually. But you can bet every penny in your bank account that once she finds somebody else, all that lovey dovey stuff will be over and you won't see her again. Don't buy in this charade. It happens all the time. Many females don't like to step off of one rock until the other foot is firmly planted on the next. Oh, yeah, she may be confused. But she's not so confused that she didn't break up with you. What she's doing now is cruel...to you! I hope you're not sucker enough to buy into it. Link to post Share on other sites
Al Posted August 18, 2003 Share Posted August 18, 2003 Tony is right, she is just using you and making herself feel better. My live in boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me b/c he "wanted to make sure I was The One." Well it took me a week to find a place and move all my stuff out of his house. During that week, he was extra nice to me and tried acting like we were still together. It just made things worse and more confusing. You have to be strong and if she wants to break up, then I wouldn't try to talk her out of it but I wouldn't let her have all the advantages of what a relationship was like with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author piperlemon Posted August 18, 2003 Author Share Posted August 18, 2003 Yeah, maybe you're right. She keeps asking if i hate her, everyday. I keep saying no, but that I Just want her to be happy. Do you think she wants both? to be free but to be with me as well? OR Is she just showing me affection because she feels bad? I mean we have been together a long time, she was 20 when we met...hasn't lived life w/o me for 4 years and doesn't party at all, i wonder if she just wants to have a wild phase and get stuff out of her system. But you guys are right, I feel like an Idiot for buying into any of the affection, if it's just because she feels bad. She says she's sorry and doesn't want to hurt me, but she hasn't changed her mind to stay in 3 almost 4 weeks now. I don't think she will. Link to post Share on other sites
SpEiZ Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 They are probably right in what they say to you. You should never continue to sleep with your ex-girlfriend, it will only hurt one of you.(probably you) In my case, my ex was having sex with me AND the new guy. But she's just crazy We started out together again....baaad mistake Don't do it.! Link to post Share on other sites
Author piperlemon Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 Oh man guys, You guys are making me feel like a dummy. But you guys are probably right. If I ask her what she's doing or when she's leaving or what she's made her mind up about, she says She Doesn't Know. If i ask her what she wants, she says she doesn't know what she wants. I'm The stupid one here ................. right?????????????? Am I being strung along?? Is she showing me affection because she feel bad? OR because she is truly doesn't want to lose me and is torn about being with me or leaving? Either way, If she did make up her mind about coming back to me, Should I take her back? or will all this stuff happen all over again? Link to post Share on other sites
SpEiZ Posted August 25, 2003 Share Posted August 25, 2003 Hehe, your'e not the idiot here. (or maybe you are, but it's not your fault) Sex between ex's is pretty common, happens all the time. But you gotta be careful... I'ts often hard to let go, but sometimes it has to be done, in order to come clean with yourself. Don't take her back, it will probably never work out, it rarely does! Forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author piperlemon Posted August 25, 2003 Author Share Posted August 25, 2003 Okay maybe i didn't explain myself very well.....We Are Not Having Sex. We Haven't in 6 months. We just sleep in the same bed. Link to post Share on other sites
SpEiZ Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Originally posted by piperlemon Okay maybe i didn't explain myself very well.....We Are Not Having Sex. We Haven't in 6 months. We just sleep in the same bed. About time you move out then, dude You must be very horny hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 It's really simple - You probably have something that she can't get enough of!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mattdad Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 Time to reevaluate your paradigms. You sleep with her but don't do anything. well all I can ask is WIIFY? What's in it for you? I tried that exact same thing for a time, and darned if my feelings for her kept getting in the way. I guess I just couldn't shut off my feelings for her. Actually thought about going ahead and MAKING her have sex, but since I'm not a rapist that idea went out the window too. So, with few options left I made the cut to begin the next stage of my life. Perhaps it is time for you to let that selfish, manipulative, and using person free to abuse someone else BESIDES YOU!! Best of luck... Link to post Share on other sites
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