april1325 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I was needing some insight from some people who have already traveled down this path. My H admits to having an alcohol and drug addiction and wants to go to rehab, but it will be next week before he will be admitted. I am very happy he decided this. He has been a heavy user for about 18 years on and off. His addiction has already cost him so much, and I dont know how much further he will have to go before he hits his rock bottom. I am afraid if he dont get help it will be to late. I dont want to lose him. I was wondering before you go to rehab is it the norm to try to consume as much alcohol and drugs as you possibly can w/o overdosing before you are admitted? You know like the last horaah. My second question is when you are really wanting to quit you have to go to rehab for yourself and no one else or you are more than likely just to relapse? right. The reason i ask is because the past few days since he has decided to go to rehab he is always drunk and high. the other morning saw him and he told me he is doing this for me. I told him I didnt want him to do this for me. I wanted him to do it for himself. I told him we could not and will not be together as long as he continues this destructive path. I dont know if this is one of his ploys to keep me around or if he is actually serious. Link to post Share on other sites
zxcirce Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 1) That's what I did. I got as drunk as I possibly could because I knew I was headed to the hospital and I might not get another chance to do it. 2) While it's true that people with a strong desire to stop drinking are more likely to stay sober, you should keep in mind that most people who go through rehab do relapse. It's the nature of the beast. I relapsed many times in the three year period between first admitting my alcoholism and my final drink four years ago. I guess what I'm getting at is that yes, it's hard to leave the drug behind and start again. His actions in using excessively now are likely due to fear and a feeling of urgency in not wanting to "lose" that crutch. And that either way, if he relapses or not, this will be the beginning of a long and difficult path for the both of you. I wish you both luck . Link to post Share on other sites
Author april1325 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 He has admitted to having a drug problem for about a year and a half now. He has tried counseling, but he always managed to find an excuse to quit. He quits his habits for awhile on his own, but within a few weeks he is back up to his old tricks. I dont know if me not coming back really showed him that I meant what I said about us not being together because of this problem or he is really ready to give up that lifestyle by his own choice. I hope it is by his own choice and not fear of losing me. I am so sick of being yo-yoed. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 it would be more beneficial if he wanted to give it up for himself. he's probably using more because he's scared of the actually quitting - giving it up. it's scary! it's hard! besides - the more you use - the more you need. he will do work to uncover what pain he is covering up with his destructive habits... that is tough too. in the meantime - you might benefit from an al-anon meeting for some support and how to handle what he is about to tackle. they have a great program and awesome guidelines to help you stay sane. it's a lot of work to stay sober - and some days are damn tough - but it's way better than going back to the state he's currently in. for me, that would only make anything worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author april1325 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 do you know any people who have had sucess saying they are wanting to do it for someone else. I think he really does want to get help for himself and maybe he is just using me like a crutch. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 do you know any people who have had sucess saying they are wanting to do it for someone else. I think he really does want to get help for himself and maybe he is just using me like a crutch. Every addict is different to some degree so it is hard to say what will happen with your H. I agree that I don't trust someone will change when they do it for someone else...but it is also really hard to tell exactly who they are doing it for. His binge leading up to rehab makes me think that it is all a scheme he has created to temporarily stop your 'bitching' about his use. What type of drug use is it? Side note...1 1/2 years isn't that bad..he has good chances of recovery unless it is heroin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author april1325 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 He is taking pretty much anything he can get his hands on. Here is a list. Pills-oxycontin,percocet,vicoden,and many more numerous pills Marijuana and he smokes from the time he gets up until he goes to sleep alcohol-liquor,beer Herione and cocaine- not so sure, but it is a possibilty, because he has used it recently. He says the oxycontin are very similar to herione in the way it makes you feel. I am really in the dark when it comes to drugs, because I have never tried anything, and I even mean pot. Never once. I have took prescription pills but that was when i had surgery and they were prescribed. Link to post Share on other sites
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