beedub Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 ok well this is a long story and its tough for me to tell because theres a lot of hurt and depression thats gone along with it and i just dont have the guts to tell anyone i know face to face about it. It all started last year around april and my friend told me about a great girl he was talking to on the internet and over the phone. My friend had told me he was not with his gf anymore and if i could talk to this girl to say what a great guy he was. Well i found out that my friend was still with his gf and i was pissed off that he was lying to me about it. He was lying to me and using me to help him cheat on his gf. Anyways this girl wanted to keep talking to me to find out more about this guy and I started to develop some guilt over what i Knew about my so called friend and i ended up telling her that she should leave him alone because he had a gf. She was very hurt as she had strong feelings for him and she would call me and cry about how can a guy do this blah blah blah. well after a while we developed very strong feelings and could talk all day and night and had very similar interests. We kept our relationship a secret from my friend who has an explosive temper and when he found out he tried anything he could to get some dirt on me and even recorded a conversation he had with me to try and milk something out of me. I caught him out and told him that what he did was so low. he became obsessed with trying to get her back but was still lying about his gf. I soon had to leave the country for college reasons and she thought about just letting it go with us because it would be too hard if i was in another country. we decided to stay with it as i would be back soon enough. anyways while i was away this guy kept at it the whole time and basically got her to think that i would be cheating on her with cheerleaders etc etc as footballers get all the chicks on campus..which wasnt the case i basically gave up my social life and much sleep to make sure i kept in touch with her. anyways it turns out that because i wasnt there and he was there for for emotionall etc etc that she developed the feelings for him again and without officially ending it with me hooked back up with him. she has a hard time telling the truth to the other person as she is scared of the hurt it causes. i know this is sounding bad. i still wanted to be with her and she said things would be clearer once i get home. I got home and she refused to see me every time we organised a meeting. she lives in the next state. her excuses nearly always had to do with the other guy. he ended up moving to her state but claimed it was for other reasons than to be near her. they ended up hanging out and she assured me that they were just friends and i am just a jealous fellow. ok one night they ended up basically doing everything but sex and she cried and cried saying it just happened in the moment and it was because she hadnt been with someoen for so long. ok i forgave her again. reoccuring theme here folks. the next time i organised to see her after everything seeming great she stands me up again and tells me shes been seeing him and basically having sex like there was no tomorrow..this really hurt and for a long time ive been quite depressed. i keep coming back for more and they broke up just after she told me that and now she says she wants to be with me and could never love him the way she loves me. im trying really hard to work this out and maybe i shouldnt forgive her this last time ..how many chances do u give the person u love? is love making me a blind loser? i honestly really want to be with her and move to her state but she is still scared of how the other guy will react whom now is my enemy forever and she still thinks she has every right to hang out with him and that if i dont get over him our relationship will never work. please give me some advice ppl. i am ready to pack my bags and be with her or to tell her that ive tried my heart out and she keeps letting me down . and this other guy has nothing on me which really has me confused..i guess i dont understand girls basically. i dont know if it will help u understand the situation better or not but she suffers from post traumatic stress disorder and feels suicidal and hopeless...i dont want to leave her when she says she needs me ..but i get no sleep and just need her to make a decision about us and what she wants..if i ask her about stuff she says i never want a normal conversation and i always have to analyse and disect everything..help me pleeeeeeeease..need help bad..thanks guys for reading this novel.hehe.. take care Link to post Share on other sites
Virgogirl Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Dude, She owes you nothing. Youve never met the girl. You have nothing to forgive her for because shes not your girlfriend. You need to do something else other than talk to her. It sounds like shes is just bad energy for you and you are just sucking it al in. Get a hobby do something for yourself. Let this go and be a happy guy! Take care ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author beedub Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 well we say we love eachother...she said we were bf and gf...she lied to me a whole bunch..we are also like best friends ofcourse i have something to forgive her for. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Wake up and smell the coffee... She cheated on you with your friend, lied to you, and after she had her fill of him all of a sudden she wants YOU back? Can't you see she is using BOTH of you? When the going got tough and you were at college, she boinked your friend! That's not love!! How can you love someone you never met? Love is a feeling that engulfs your whole being. It's not just talking to someone. It's feeling the softness of their skin or the fresh scent of their hair... It's the way the person looks at you or tickles you to make you laugh... Sure, you can develop feelings for someone you've never met, based on conversations alone, but that isn't LOVE. It takes being in that person's presence to develop true love. How do you know you'd even be attracted to her if you've never met her? I would say, move on and find someone who you've actually met to find happiness. This chick is manipulating you both. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyMeToJupiter Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 She cheated on you with your friend or was this a different guy? In my opinion, trust is the key to long distance relationships. As long as she doesn't have trust in you, there's no hope for the both of you. It doesn't matter how she was convinced or who convinced her that you would end up cheating. Yeah, she was vulnerable and you say she suffers from this post trauma stress disorder, but that doesn't give her the right to do what she did. SHe should have put herself in your shoes first so she'd know how much it would hurt. She got lonely and sad, and she found happiness in another man's arms. I say, get on with your life, because she is obviously showing you that you're not the only guy who has a piece of her heart. Link to post Share on other sites
chaotic Posted September 3, 2003 Share Posted September 3, 2003 dude, if she cheated on you, and you are not perfectly fine with forgiving her for it, then u need let her go. she doesnt deserve you love, or even your time. once a girl cheats, you have to take everything she says with a grain of salt. think about the relationship, as if you were listening to your friend was explaining his situation to you. woulnt you tell him to get over her and move on? chaotic Link to post Share on other sites
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