Unrequited Love - Feel like I've been kicked

[SilkLeaves]

Yeah, I never wanted to have to post a thread with 'Unrequited Love' in it but here I am. It'll probably be my last thread on this subject too. Today, amongst the ignoring me, snide comments and walking off without me, he told me that I should 'just get over it' - 'it' being how I feel about him, and how I have felt for 2 years. I would have expected myself to bounce back, as it's happened repeatedly in the past, but I just felt deflated. I invested all of my emotions in this. I'm going through quite a lonely time atm and this just seemed like the icing on the cake. I don't have any other male friends that I'm interested in, and I just keep seeing guys and girls together and I want to cry. I hate the idea of having to meet someone new, getting to know them, like them, get them to like me, because I've done that so many times before and I put all my emotions into it and then it never works out right.

 

I really just feel as though I have been kicked in the stomach repeatedly. Does anyone have any advice as to what to do to make myself feel better?

[Ronni_W]

(((hugs))) That sucks, Silk.

In terms of how to feel better...I gotta admit that your sig made me smile. On second thought, though, perhaps a half- or full day at the spa...or something else that will be equally pleasing to your senses, and bring relaxation & rejuvenation?

Sorry he ended up treating you like that.

[Habibti]

Yes..this should make you feel better..

 

The guy took your heart and feelings and carelessly said "get over it". It should feel better that you see the light and you aren't going to enter into relationship withsome who is such a complete..BONEHEAD.

[OpenBook]

I hate the idea of having to meet someone new, getting to know them, like them, get them to like me, because I've done that so many times before and I put all my emotions into it and then it never works out right.

 

Screw it then! I'm serious. Adjust your attitude. If it's not working out with anyone, then quit trying! Concentrate on other things. You do have other interests in your life, don't you? If not, then - get some!! Art, writing, sports, volunteering, gardening, etc.etc.etc. There's about a bazillion other things to do besides worrying about a mere man!

 

(HINT: A woman who's passionately concentrating on other things and couldn't care less about what the guys around her are doing and thinking - is a POWERFUL aphrodisiac to men!! Draws them like flies...)

 

My personal favorite recipe for making myself feel better - GO SHOPPING!! "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!" Especially shoes... for some reason, shopping for shoes really does it for me.

 

The answer lies at the mall. :bunny:

[SilkLeaves]

I didn't think this would happen so soon, but I feel like I've snapped into something today. I suddenly feel the urge to do things like get a new haircut, buy new clothes and tidy up... . I feel strangely....free. And I can now see him for the dickhead he really is. I feel like showing him that he is by no means special and I can get on with my life successfully. Well, it's either that or beat the crap out of him .

 

I really hope I can keep this attitude, but I know that other days I'll probably go back to being down. Still, I'm going to try my hardest to be all that I can be, and if I guy comes along, I'll deal with it when it happens.

 

Oh! But I do have another question - I was planning on going on a college trip to another country. He would be the only person I knew who was going. I was incredibly excited, but now, I really don't feel like going. At the same time I don't want to miss the chance of going on the trip. Should I go or not?

[Ronni_W]

Should I go or not?

Not before you get your (sexy) new haircut and buy your (sexy) new clothes!

But then...definitely...if you feel like it. I agree with you ~ if you can help it, why miss all the wonderful opportunities that are sure to be waiting for you in that new country?

 

Sending hugs and good wishes...hang on to your new attitude with all your power and desire.

[Mag]

Look at your trip like this, if you went without him in the first place and enjoy yourself. If you take a trip somewhere make the most of it, dont let anything get you down theres always a brighter side of the picture you just have to look for it.

[superd]

you want real advice?

 

Don't go on that trip, wait for the next boat to come in.

 

Secondly, remember to guard your gut next time.

[Mystique01]

Awwww....your post resonated with me because I'm going through the same thing! I'm so sorry that things didn't end up well for you and this guy friend of yours SilkLeaves. I'm just now reading the "update" of what happened on this thread. I guess my post on your previous thread was a little too late. Trust me....I've been there too (well, I didn't actually tell my guy friend that I liked him, but I'm sure he knows)

 

Anyway....I think your new attitude is FABULOUS!! Keep it up!

 

There's no sweeter revenge than success. SHOW him that you've moved on by keeping a positive attitude, maintaining your dignity, and by continuing to be the fly girl that you are! Don't let him see you sweat. Even if you feel like CRAP. It's easier said than done though. I dont' know how close you and him were, or how invested your feelings for him were, but there will be low times. Just brace for it.

 

Some days, I can feel like I'm on the top of the world. Other days...I feel like I would rather crawl up in a hole for the rest of my life. I dont' know about you, but it's SUPER hard for me because I still have to see him (and his little girl friend) every week! Sometimes the feelings are unbearable. At times it's still hard to act "normal" around him since there are still some feelings there, and he acts weird around me too at times. But I know that eventually I will get over it. You will too! Don't lose faith.

 

Right now, the best thing you can do is focus on something else. Take a break from ALL guys. Like someone else mentioned, stop trying! I had to take a good 5-month break from seeing all guys as a possible potential bf...and I'm actually trying to go until the end of this year. Starting to move on has helped me tremendously. I've also been getting to know other guys who are actually interested in me, and can actually DO something about their interest/attraction. It's a wonderful feeling. I'm not trying to go TOO fast though...I've even had to tell some guys to slow it down just a bit because I'm still healing. I don't want to jump to a rebound guy, or some guy I'm not that into just because I'm feeling hurt/lonely/desperate. No way... That's not fair to me OR him!

 

So, you may need to take a small break also.

 

As far as the trip is concerned:

Personally, I would go. I wouldn't let this guy ruin your chances at something spectacular and exciting in your life! Especially if you've already paid the money/have made arrangements. Going to another country is not something that people just do everyday. You could learn sooo much! You could meet so many new people, and make some connections! I wouldn't let this guy friend of yours stop your plans.

BUT...you know yourself better emotionally. If you dont' think you can emotionally handle it to the point where you dont' think you'll have a good time, then I would say you have to do what you have to do. But overall, I would go. I would avoid him, and make friends/hang out with other people if you're there. Make NEW friends.

 

Anyway, sorry this didn't work out for you. But like they say...when one door closes, another one opens! I think you have someone even BETTER waiting in the wings for you. Besides, you never know what can happen in the future! One of my closest girl friends always tells me that even though I'm moving on, I should stay happy, but keep my heart open to him in the future. Because, you never know what may happen. When he sees you living your life fully, having fun, maintaining a positive attitude regardless of his DISinterest...he may actually start becoming more interested in you! I'm not holding out hope anymore that my guy friend's feelings for me might change in the future, but at least it keeps me sane and keeping my dignity. I can still treat him cordially without harboring TOO much resentment. IF/when his feelings change, I can cross that bridge when it gets there. But for right now, I try hard not to worry about it. I'm going to focus on ME. I suggest you do the same too!

 

Whew! Sorry, I did not mean for this post to be so long! I just had to offer some encouragement because I'm going through the same thing! If you ever need to PM me, feel free!

 

Keep us posted!