pps36 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 There is this girl who's not even 20, says she's madly in love with me. calls me and cries and cries, emails me, texts me, sends flowers, etc etc, even when I/ve told her, I/m 37, very happily married, lovely wife, kids and am not interested in having any relationship outside my marriage, and that too with a girl almost half my age. It started a few months back when she called me to fix a meeting with her manager (she works part time in that company). Initially her talk was normal, she visited me in the office with her manager, a couple of times. After that, she continued to call, but now it was more personal stuff like If was was married (I told her YES), my family, my wife, kids etc. etc., Asked me if I liked her and would like to go out with her for a movie or something like that. Which I politely refused and told her, someone her age would be a better option for her. I have told my wife about her but she just laughed it off. Says she/ll (the girl) will get over it. What I want is that this girl should get some help so that she can get over this. AND I WANT HER TO STOP CONTACTING ME. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 This has happened to me (before I was married). Usually ignoring them will eventually get them to stop. However if it's beyond that point then you will have to tell her if she doesn't, then she will be getting charged with harassment. And why would you be getting involved with her work? Do you work at the same company? Link to post Share on other sites
blair08 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 She sounds unstable. If you really want a 20 year old to stop contacting you, I'm sure you'll find a way. Sorry your wife laughed at you about it. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 My guess is that you nicely brushed her off without a true rejection. Girls like that need a little more clear handling. Just be strait forward bordering on rude with her and then she will understand. Tell her to leave you alone, remind her that she is just a child to you and you would never disrespect your wife that way and if she continues to disrespect your marriage like this then you will be forced to take action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pps36 Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 She works for another company who do business with us. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 contact your human resources director and tell him/her that this has a potential for turning into a nasty situation because this little miss doesn't comprehend personal boundaries and you're not interested in anything other than a healthy professional relationship. If need be, contact HER HR person and let them know they've got an unhinged worker (esp. if she keeps stalking you). Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 It's probably just some crush. Hopefully she will get the message soon that you're not interested. If you have the texts and emails she has sent or she is still sending them, show them to your wife since she doesn't take this seriously. Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
GrnEyedGemini Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 contact your human resources director and tell him/her that this has a potential for turning into a nasty situation because this little miss doesn't comprehend personal boundaries and you're not interested in anything other than a healthy professional relationship. If need be, contact HER HR person and let them know they've got an unhinged worker (esp. if she keeps stalking you). I agree with this approach. Or, if she doesn't stop....harrassment charges and restraining order! Careful...she could be a real nut job! Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyandfrustrated Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Would your wife be willing to take her call next time the girl phones you? I had a guy (friend of an ex) who called me continuously--really sick guy--when he had his other hand otherwise occupied, ya know? Hanging up on him, threatening harrasment charges, etc. didn't work, but one day my husband was standing by so I gave the phone to him. Never heard from the wacky whacker again. Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 calls me and cries and cries, emails me, texts me, sends flowers You will need to ignore all her emails, texts, and calls. Do not engage her at all in any form of communication other than business related communicaiton. If you have to talk to her on the phone, keep it strictly business. If she mentions anything personal, tell her you have to go and end the conversation quickly. If you can avoid having to deal with her completely, then do that. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Start ignoring her, don't answer her calls, emails, whatever. If she shows up at your workplace, ask her to leave. She has a crush on you, but the more you tell her off, the more she will come after you, she may think you're playing a game with her. Don't be nice to her, be harsher and if that doesn't work, speak to her immediate boss, let them know she's harrassing you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 contact your human resources director and tell him/her that this has a potential for turning into a nasty situation because this little miss doesn't comprehend personal boundaries and you're not interested in anything other than a healthy professional relationship. If need be, contact HER HR person and let them know they've got an unhinged worker (esp. if she keeps stalking you). Very easy in this day and age for her, once she's hurt and rejected, to allege that you've done or said something inappropriate. That's why the advice to document it with your company is sound... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author pps36 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 Dear friends, Being tough, rude, works very well when you have someone your age. If she was 30 something, I would have done that. Its the easy part. Here I am dealing with a kid. I dont want her to end as a nervous wreck, even before she really matures. What really bothers me, and the main reason I/m on this forum, is that what future on this earth, does she see in this relationship. Why someone would do this??. I have kids, who will in a few years be in the same age group as her. You know what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
westrock Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Being tough, rude, works very well when you have someone your age. If she was 30 something, I would have done that. Its the easy part. Here I am dealing with a kid. I dont want her to end as a nervous wreck, even before she really matures. You can be tough without having to be rude. What really bothers me, and the main reason I/m on this forum, is that what future on this earth, does she see in this relationship. Why someone would do this??. You never know what her motivation is to do this. Besides, it doesn't really matter what she sees -- she's likely not mature enough to see the potential problems she is already causing. Link to post Share on other sites
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