Perspective?

[Kasan]

I am wondering if you are starting to get impatient with how long it's taking for your marriage to feel good.....ie, for the both of you to realize that the marriage is viable.

 

Your patience was rewarded when your wife came back to you, why are you in such a hurry now?

 

This is going to take time, as a lot of stuff still needs to be worked through.

 

You did a lot of reading when she left you, are you still reading books about when they come back?

[TrustInYourself]

I am wondering if you are starting to get impatient with how long it's taking for your marriage to feel good.....ie, for the both of you to realize that the marriage is viable.

 

Your patience was rewarded when your wife came back to you, why are you in such a hurry now?

 

This is going to take time, as a lot of stuff still needs to be worked through.

 

You did a lot of reading when she left you, are you still reading books about when they come back?

 

Nope, I'm in the biggest rut ever. I'm complacent. I'm tired. Also, I'm lazy and not very positive.

 

What happened!? I was really on point right after she left.

[Kasan]

What has changed? She is back!

 

Getting her to come back because she realized what she had in you was maybe the easy part of all this?

 

Now, it's the nuts and bolts of the daily grind............she knows how to push your buttons, and you know how to push hers.

 

Do you think that you had unrealistic expectations of what her coming back would entail?

 

The man you became when she was gone still needs to be the man now.......unless it was all a ploy to get her back? I don't really think it was a ploy.

 

Or, is it possible that your ego was so wounded when she left you that you can't forgive her? Are you still in love with her?

 

Have you sat down and negotiated some "terms" since she has come back?

 

I also read where you wrote that she can't be the woman that you need. So now I wonder was she ever?

[TrustInYourself]

What has changed? She is back!

 

Getting her to come back because she realized what she had in you was maybe the easy part of all this?

 

Now, it's the nuts and bolts of the daily grind............she knows how to push your buttons, and you know how to push hers.

 

Do you think that you had unrealistic expectations of what her coming back would entail?

 

The man you became when she was gone still needs to be the man now.......unless it was all a ploy to get her back? I don't really think it was a ploy.

 

Or, is it possible that your ego was so wounded when she left you that you can't forgive her? Are you still in love with her?

 

Have you sat down and negotiated some "terms" since she has come back?

 

I also read where you wrote that she can't be the woman that you need. So now I wonder was she ever?

 

I realized the same thing. I am breaking out of this rut immediately.

 

I think my ego was hurt and I'm still recovering from those wounds.

 

We've talked out terms but we have yet to put them into action. Again, my complacency.

 

I have thought about whether or not she can meet meet my needs. I think she can, but it's going to take effort on her part and a change in her attitude as well.

 

Right now, I'm going to focus on myself and return to my "free and positive" mindset I had during my separation. It served me well and I think that I'm doing myself a disfavor by being so damn lazy.

 

You're also right. In comparison the separation was easy, it was just a matter of controlling how I feel and not being concerned over my wife's feelings. Now I feel tied into her in a way that is hard to describe.

 

I made a promise to myself and I want to keep that promise.

 

This will be my last post for a bit. I want to focus completely on my marriage and myself. Thanks for the words Kasan.

 

Take care all.