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I don't know what to do about my husband who has been pretending that we are broke for more than 5 years. I am always dressed in a shambles as well as the children and I was able to get my hands on his secret savings account bank book where he has apparently stashed all of his dough for years. He's stockpiling cash all the while we are starving. Why the hell is he doing this? I see deposits 5 grand at a time and these are times that we had to get rid of our car just to pay the mortgage. I don't understand it since he loved that cartoo! I'm so angry im going to blow my lid!

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lonelyandfrustrated
Why the hell is he doing this?

 

What did he say when you asked him?

 

I don't have a clue why he would do this. My questions are: how did you become so uninvolved in the family finances to not know this? Are you a reckless shopper and he needs to keep money stashed for emergency because if he didn't, you'd spend it? Does he earn enough to deposit five grand at a time, or does he have an extra source of income that you're not privy to? Does he gamble?

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i ran up credit cards almost 10 years ago, hardly something reckless enough or financially crippling to register this type of behavior with him. my kids have holes in their shoes and need hair cuts, i mean we really look dumpy sometimes and im afraid he's just going to save enough to leave us one day. this is way too bizarre that im going to make sure that this is his account because we almost were going to lose our house 1 year ago and he didnt come to the rescue at all. is it possible he has a fake bank book, but then why??? i know his mother used to help him out sometimes with finances, but not anywhere near like this. the most she would help out at a time was 50 bucks. im fearful that he is in over his head if this is something illegal.

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lonelyandfrustrated

Okay, slow down...you're not even sure that this is a real bank book, or that the account is his?

 

You need more information before speculating about what is going on with him. Take a breath, ask some questions, and watch body language as much as listen to his words. Write down the bank info and account number and stash it somewhere safe if you need it in the future...no matter how well he's hiding it, you're still entitled to half. :)

 

But for now, assume that he's being as honest as he's always been. Okay?

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also find out who's name(s) are on the account and where the statements go.

 

sometimes if it's a hidden account the statements are held at the branch and the customer picks them up there.

 

can you think of why he would have the extra cash as opposed to what he tells you is earned?

 

why do you not know how much he should be earning and how long have you been married?

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This all just sounds crazy...How much is in that account if you don't mind me asking?? And what makes you think that it might be illegal??

 

Does he spend a lot of time away from you when he is off from work??

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