WiseOne1 Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Today I Officially told my ex to take a hike. Although I don't know rather it was the right decision. But OMG I feel so good, feels like im getting my life back. Me and my ex broke up 5 months ago, she says she didnt feel the same way, and didnt love me anymore. She says I changed the way she felt about me. She took me thru hell in the relationship, she and her ex BF and her best friend. She always was choosing some ex over me, or even taking her best friends side over mines. A Month later she got a new BF, and didnt tell me about it until 3 months later, she says she didnt want to lose me as a friend. I told her about 3 times I didnt want to be friends and took acouple of days of NC eachtime. But what kept me coming back was me and her were Best Friends for 5 years before we hooked up. So I had more than a romantic attachment to her, I had a platonic attachment as well. She cried many and many times asking me to still be friends with her, 1 time for almost 3 hour str8 on the phone. Im not being her friend as a way to be mean or get revenge, its that I cant get over her while im in contact with her. Shes living her life just fine, shes happy, and im unhappy. Im broken hearted and have'nt had time to get over her, while shes all serious with her new BF. She feels its always about her, in the relationship it was that way. Im explained to her that I need to get over her and move on. And explained that no real friend would ever do the things she did to me. She apolgizes about the bad things she did like, "letting one of her ex BF ruin our relationship" But then she turns around and pisses me off, and says thing like im going to treat my new BF better than I treated you. Like thats a good thing?? We were best friends for 5 years so no wonder im so use to her, its just that the 1 year and 2 months we dated I've never been treated worse in my life. Do you think it was a good decision even though of the friend scenario? Link to post Share on other sites
nickelinadime Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Send her on a ****ing hike. Sounds like my scenario. They always end up rubbing it in your face after. Just stay away until you're stable, with a new person and are over her. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 What do you think would happen if you never saw or spoke with her again? Friends in life are really cool. Friendships begin, exist, and end, sometimes due to the friends, sometimes due to life circumstances and sometimes for no discernible reason at all. Reason, season or lifetime.... Her current behavior doesn't sound too "friendly" to me, not the least of which is her total lack of empathy for or caring about your pain. Does that sound like a friend to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 Thanks nickelinadime, I feel so good now that I gotten rid of her. _______________________________________________________ Carhill, I Don't know, I asked her if I had done the things to her, that she did to me what would she do? And she says she would talk to me maybe every couple of months, so she was saying that she wouldnt even attempt to be my friend, like I attempted to be hers. _______________________________________________________ She got very very jealous once when she though I had a new GF, she screamed at me and cursed me out. And started crying and said she loved me and wanted me back, and then when it was time to break up with her BF, she changed her mind, thats what really set me off. Link to post Share on other sites
ahhhchooo Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Her current behavior doesn't sound too "friendly" to me, not the least of which is her total lack of empathy for or caring about your pain. Does that sound like a friend to you? Too right. The way my ex acts is definitely not friendly. No empathy, no effort, nothing. I wouldn't act kindly to anyone else, really shows me how low she can go. Link to post Share on other sites
nickelinadime Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 **** her. She's not worth it. Move on. Sorry I'm so rude, I'm dealing with something very similar - very pissed at an ex I thought I had gotten rid of. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 No one can be simply friends with someone they still have romantic feelings for. That's the reality of things. So for you to walk away from her because you're not ok... That's one of the best things you have done for yourself. Besides, friends? As far as I know, you leave from a hang-out or a conversation feeling pretty good. Not depressed or sad or negative. Friends having a minor tiff aside, they don't make you feel bad. You don't want to know that she's going to treat the new BF better than she treated you. It hurts to know that you're not important to someone you consider important... There's nothing faulty with feeling that pain. As for her answer to carhill's question (he made such good points), it's an assumption. You posed a hypothetical situation, but the answer she gave you isn't concrete because it never happened. At least, from how it sounds like, it didn't happen and you were just posing one of those "If this thing happened..." scenarios. I lost my best friend in the process, too. Lawrence has a new girl and I don't want to know anything about them besides "He's dating someone else now." I hope you're feeling better. Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yes!! You did the right thing!! Don't look back! Like Carhill said friends come and go, the real ones will be there for you no matter what! Doesn't sound to me like she's a very good friend at all!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yea my B Day was September 19th, and she called and sung me happy birthday, She says she was suppose to send my gift off by ups tommorrow. Im soo happy that im rid of her, and then I have this small emotionally gap in my stomach that makes me want to hear from her. She only made matters worse by apolgizing about everything. She admitted that she broke up with me because she was scared I was going to hurt her, and she felt like she had to breakup with me first. She then pisses me off by telling me that if she had gotten a new BF, that me and her would have gotten back together and have something special. I hate her guts, I mean really. Link to post Share on other sites
Intergalactic Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 She then pisses me off by telling me that if she had gotten a new BF, that me and her would have gotten back together and have something special. I hate her guts, I mean really. that is a really really horrible thing to say and you absolutely did the right thing. she's no friend of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 She only made matters worse by apolgizing about everything. She admitted that she broke up with me because she was scared I was going to hurt her, and she felt like she had to breakup with me first. She then pisses me off by telling me that if she had gotten a new BF, that me and her would have gotten back together and have something special. Wow... talk about rubbing salt on an open wound. You hate her, Wise. I hope your feelings of hate will eventually taper off into indifference - she's not even worth such an intense feeling from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Intergalactic, You are so right, I can actually sleep now, I dont have to wake up in the morning and hear about her new bf. It really pisses you off when someone tells your that you were the perfect bf but they just ****ed over you anyway. ________________________________________________________ 0hpenelope, Yea I hate her, and I just some hope someday that I no longer remember her, I mean like really forget, I just really want to get over her. I'd day im 60% there. ________________________________________________________ She felt that it wasnt fair to her not to be friends, she always said she wanted me back but wouldnt break up with her current bf to do so. She moved on months ago, and now im just moving on now. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yes, I absolutely think you did the right thing. She was using you. You don't need that kind of mind****. Link to post Share on other sites
movingonandon Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 she always said she wanted me back but wouldnt break up with her current bf to do so. This cought my attention, because my own ex made some half-hearted attempts to "come back". i told her (without promising anythig, very ambivalent and all) that if she dumps her current bf (the one she de facto dumped me for) *right now*, I might entertain the possibility of talking to her one day in the future. She said "ok", and then didn't do it. So now there's definitely no way in hell that I would even thing of taking her sorry ass back. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I tried doing the friends crap but all she would Do is talk about somE new guy she has feelings for. I say get rid of her nc for good Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 she sounds like a soul-sucking harpy, and NOBODY needs that kind of baggage. maybe it's time to change your number, block her emails and IM's, and refuse her mail/UPS correspondence. Though that might make her try even harder to "be your friend" ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Well last time I told her I didnt want to be friends she called 3 days in a row asking me was I serious. So shes put up a really hard fight for us to be friends, I just wished she cared that much about the relationship part. I deleted all her naked pics she had sent me a couple of weeks ago, she says she still had all of my naked pics still on her phone and email, but I dont wnat anything of her left. That kinda makes me think, she swears she would have never cheated on me, nd that she had to much respect for me. But if I can talk her into sending me naked pics while she has a BF is pretty unreliable. But Well guys, I think this is the one, I don't think I will ever talk to her again in my entire life, I think this one is gonna be forever, I mean forever like when im 80 years old forever. Shes not gonna call me because of pride, and I'll be damn If i suck up my pride to call her ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 She had a small mental issue also, she suffered from deep depresion, Im also lucky I dont have to deal with her sucide attempts or such. Link to post Share on other sites
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