Lishy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 So my boyfriend of 2 years is going to Las Vegas this weekend for his friend's bachelor party. Okay, so this makes me cringe. I have heard ALL kinds of stories about Vegas. It's like he is being sent out into the wild! I'll footnote by saying I trust him completely. I know he would NEVER cheat on me, and I have asked him several times "what he will be doing." He has told me over and over "I am just going to gamble." Okay, meaning strip clubs. He said he is staying at this hotel with mirrors on the walls and ceilings. Like I have said before, his freinds are extremely immature and behave like they are still in high school. All these crazy images are running through my mind. Anybody wanna offer support! Ugh, I knew this was going to happen. I think this thread would have turned out totally different if someone else had posted it. Anyway, I got lots of opinions and that was what I was after. He will miss me and I'll miss him, so it will bring us closer together. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. He can have fun getting drunk, actually when he gets hammered he usually ends up calling me and telling me how he loves me and thinks I'm so hot. He'll be thinking about me in Vegas that's for sure. You have contradicted yourself LB and THAT is why people are saying what they do. Your last post is not how you feel at all is it? You have said that because you are too scared to realise your true feelings. I am not in any way putting you down hon, I support your relationship and think you have a good guy there, and he has a good gal, but I do believe that you have underlying issues which cause you to feel so insecure. It is not just about your boyfriend cheating is it? I dont think he would cheat on you but I worry that your insecurities will cause you both problems. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I think you trust him, and this is not your worry. What you don't like is those naked women flaunting themselves at him and tempting him. You don't like it that he is putting himself in the position to be tempted. If you were standing next to him, then you would get made at these women for getting near him. And above all, do you think just a little bit that maybe him going to a strip club without you...no matter the reason...is a bit disrespectful to your relationship? Have you told him how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I wasn't coming down hard on you at all. I'm genuinely curious as to why you seem so insecure in this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver07 Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 LB, have you considered posting in the marriage and life parnerships section of LS? Not trying to run you off but I think that there is so much drama here in the Dating section that the members are highly attenuated to it. Then you come along with an "everyday worry" and everyone pounces. You might get more helpful insights in a different section of the site. Just a thought... Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 You have contradicted yourself LB and THAT is why people are saying what they do. Your last post is not how you feel at all is it? You have said that because you are too scared to realise your true feelings. Interesting point. For the ladies who are bothered by the idea of their men attending bachellor parties with strippers or business meetings at strip-clubs and similar activities: If you absolutely, 110%, beyond any doubt whatsoever, knew, with absolute certaintly, that your man had absolutely ZERO interest in the women and ZERO potential to be anything but bored by their attempts to draw his interest, would the situation still bother you, or would it just seem pathetic and comical? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 LB, have you considered posting in the marriage and life parnerships section of LS? Not trying to run you off but I think that there is so much drama here in the Dating section that the members are highly attenuated to it. Then you come along with an "everyday worry" and everyone pounces. You might get more helpful insights in a different section of the site. Just a thought... Yeah, that's true. We aren't married though? But yeah you are right, these are everyday issues and posters tend to catastrophise them into something they aren't. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 If I 110% knew that he was not going to cheat on me in any form, it would just irk me that he went bc it is so bloody expensive and the drinks are always watered down. We have better places to spend or save that money! But other than that, it wouldn't bother me if he went. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 If I 110% knew that he was not going to cheat on me in any form, it would just irk me that he went bc it is so bloody expensive and the drinks are always watered down. We have better places to spend or save that money! But other than that, it wouldn't bother me if he went. Yeah, it kind of irks me that he is going to be watching some nasty, sweaty, naked chick. I will cut him some slack though, I really don't think they plan to spend 4 straight days in a strip club. I'll let him have his fun, most likely for my bachelorette party I'll be going to a strip club so then we'll be even. Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yeah, it kind of irks me that he is going to be watching some nasty, sweaty, naked chick. I will cut him some slack though, I really don't think they plan to spend 4 straight days in a strip club. I'll let him have his fun, most likely for my bachelorette party I'll be going to a strip club so then we'll be even. This seems to me like, "I think he might be interested, or I'm afraid he might be interested, but I'm sure he wouldn't actually go so far as to do anything about it." I completely understand how that would irk you, even without feeling justified in cutting him away from the friends over it. My question was more about whether it would still irk you if you had the same certaintly that he didn't have even any interest in looking... he was just there to attend the business meeting or friend's bachellor party and couldn't give a crap about the women or their attempts to get his attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 This seems to me like, "I think he might be interested, or I'm afraid he might be interested, but I'm sure he wouldn't actually go so far as to do anything about it." I completely understand how that would irk you, even without feeling justified in cutting him away from the friends over it. My question was more about whether it would still irk you if you had the same certaintly that he didn't have even any interest in looking... he was just there to attend the business meeting or friend's bachellor party and couldn't give a crap about the women or their attempts to get his attention. Haha it's interesting because I just had a convo about strippers with him, and he said that they look gross when they are all sweaty (he is OCD when it comes to cleanliness). I don't think he is into the whole strip club scene, he probably is just going because it's his friend's bachelor party. He said he isn't into looking at strippers and I believe him, so I feel better about the situation. I guess I just don't like the idea of him getting a hard on while watching a naked girl other than his girlfriend grind on a pole. (that doesn't seem to be the case though) Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 If he wanted to cheat, I think he'd be able to do so closer to home. I think you DO trust him pretty well... I think the REAL issue is that you feel he's hanging with an immature bunch and wish that aspect of him were different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yeah, that's true. We aren't married though? But yeah you are right, these are everyday issues and posters tend to catastrophise them into something they aren't. Your "everyday issues" aren't mundane things like leaving wet towels on the floor or forgetting to pick up milk on the way home. Your every single day issues involve some pretty serious concerns: TRUST and INSECURITY. That's something worth really delving into. Interesting point. For the ladies who are bothered by the idea of their men attending bachellor parties with strippers or business meetings at strip-clubs and similar activities: If you absolutely, 110%, beyond any doubt whatsoever, knew, with absolute certaintly, that your man had absolutely ZERO interest in the women and ZERO potential to be anything but bored by their attempts to draw his interest, would the situation still bother you, or would it just seem pathetic and comical? If I 110% knew that he was not going to cheat on me in any form, it would just irk me that he went bc it is so bloody expensive and the drinks are always watered down. We have better places to spend or save that money! But other than that, it wouldn't bother me if he went. I feel the same way. I've never ever had a problem with a BF going to a strip club other than the cost! Yeah, it kind of irks me that he is going to be watching some nasty, sweaty, naked chick. I will cut him some slack though, I really don't think they plan to spend 4 straight days in a strip club. I'll let him have his fun, most likely for my bachelorette party I'll be going to a strip club so then we'll be even. (1) Most of the strippers in Vegas are anything but nasty and sweaty. They're Maxim, FHM, Stuff, and Playboy come to life. (2) You'll LET him have his fun? Does he need your permission? (3) You'll be even? Is that a mature attitude to have? Or is it vindictive? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 If he wanted to cheat, I think he'd be able to do so closer to home. I think you DO trust him pretty well... I think the REAL issue is that you feel he's hanging with an immature bunch and wish that aspect of him were different. Yeah, he wouldn't have to go all the way to Vegas to cheat. The thing is, he acts more immature when he is around them too. It's like they "rub off" or something. His friends honestly live like they are still in high school too, most of them are single (with the exception of his friend getting married, and another friend in a relationship) and they all live at home and sponge off their parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Haha it's interesting because I just had a convo about strippers with him, and he said that they look gross when they are all sweaty (he is OCD when it comes to cleanliness). Weird. I've never seen or heard of a sweaty stripper. How does this work for your sex life? Do you not sweat at all when the two of you are having sex? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 (he is OCD when it comes to cleanliness). Then he isn't going to let a stripper sit her sweaty ass and p*ssy on him, is he! Let alone touch her. If anything, he'll just enjoy the view from afar. No big deal. It is what it is, and if you make more of this, then it will become a bigger issue. You trust him, so trust him. You have NO control over what his friends do, so unless you tell him no he can't go, you have to just have faith that he isn't going to do anything stupid that he'll regret later. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 The thing is, he acts more immature when he is around them too. It's like they "rub off" or something. His friends honestly live like they are still in high school too, most of them are single (with the exception of his friend getting married, and another friend in a relationship) and they all live at home and sponge off their parents. Do you like ANY of his friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 My question was more about whether it would still irk you if you had the same certaintly that he didn't have even any interest in looking... he was just there to attend the business meeting or friend's bachellor party and couldn't give a crap about the women or their attempts to get his attention. How many guys are seriously like that though? Not many I wuold say. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I have asked him several times "what he will be doing." He has told me over and over "I am just going to gamble." Yeah, it kind of irks me that he is going to be watching some nasty, sweaty, naked chick. Why do you assume he lies to you? Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 How many guys are seriously like that though? Not many I wuold say. Not that you're biased or anything... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 Weird. I've never seen or heard of a sweaty stripper. How does this work for your sex life? Do you not sweat at all when the two of you are having sex? Yeah, he goes to take a shower immediately afterward lol. Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 How many guys are seriously like that though? Not many I wuold say. Probably not. I just wanted to clarify the true source of the bad feelings, is it the thought of strippers in general that gets women upset, or the thought that their man might actually be intersted in and aroused by said strippers, even if he doesn't do anything about it, that causes the upset feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
djhall Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Then he isn't going to let a stripper sit her sweaty ass and p*ssy on him, is he! Let alone touch her. If anything, he'll just enjoy the view from afar. Heh... My personal feelings about strip clubs are mixed. I make no apologies for being a great admirer of the famale body, and I enjoy appreciating the beauty of naked women within reason, but there is just some stuff I cannot be comfortable doing in public with a woman I don't know! And some of the men... dear god, is he looking for her fallopian tubes? Do you need a flashlight to shine in there? I think she just knocked his contact out with a nipple! Yikes... that isn't sexy, thats just embarassing. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Yeah, he goes to take a shower immediately afterward lol. That doesn't sound very fun. Mildly insulting, if anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 LB, I cannot understand why you started this thread! What did you want to gain? Did you just want us to say it will all be ok? If so then I am pretty sure it will all be ok and he wont cheat on you, you dont need to be in Vegas to cheat I will reiterate that your insecurities will still remain. Until you open up and deal with them you will risk losing a great relationship! I really dont want to see that LB I am sorry of you did not want to hear that and again I do not mean to be mean at all, I like you alot! Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 So my boyfriend of 2 years is going to Las Vegas this weekend for his friend's bachelor party. Okay, so this makes me cringe. I have heard ALL kinds of stories about Vegas. It's like he is being sent out into the wild! I'll footnote by saying I trust him completely. I know he would NEVER cheat on me, and I have asked him several times "what he will be doing." He has told me over and over "I am just going to gamble." Okay, meaning strip clubs. He said he is staying at this hotel with mirrors on the walls and ceilings. Like I have said before, his freinds are extremely immature and behave like they are still in high school. All these crazy images are running through my mind. Anybody wanna offer support! Wish I could. But what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. And seeing how he wanted to put you our of your own apartment for friends that didn't even appreciate the fact that you let them have free roam of it for a whole weekend already doesn't sound real good. have you considered finding someone that likes to party less and disrespect you less? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts