He is going to Vegas this weekend!!!!

[Krajt]

The only reason I posted this was because I was kind of bored and looking for something to do. Isn't that why all of us post on here? Anyway, I'm making a bigger deal out of it as it is. I made plans with a friend of mine to have a girls night on Friday night so I'm looking forward to that. It's been awhile since I had one of those.

 

I know you all mean well, I'm not in denial that I have insecurity issues. Working on them is hard, but I'm trying. When everything is going well in our relationship, I tend to seek out some kind of issue when there really isn't one..maybe for something to analyze or solve. The problem with my profession is that I love trying to help people work out their issues. I get a rush from trying to analyze and solve problems, which is why I love my job so much. I found a book in the bookstore about insecurity that looked interesting so I think I will go buy that. I am really trying here not to create issues that aren't there. And there are none (other then my own insecurity).

 

Oh, and I asked about the shower thing. He said it's because he feels nasty with all his "stuff" all over him (don't want to get too graphic there). We came up with a little compromise, that he would just clean himself off then come and lay in bed with me for awhile, BEFORE going to shower.

 

 

I tend to blow things out of all proportion too and then I realise what an idiot I was for doing so. You're not alone on that one. We all have insecurity issues at some stage in our life. Well done on working on them, it's hard, but it's a better alternative than wallowing. I am guilty of being overly analytical too. It's the way your brain functions and is also a habit. You have to learn to break the habit and learn to enjoy the ebb and flow of a relationship. Be more impulsive and be more spontaneous; it's the greatest way to live life and get the most out of life. Humans are naturally pessimistic creatures, ergo I firmly believe that humans are in their element when they are feeling negatively about things or feeling negatively emotionally. It gives us a sense of importance and maybe we all work too hard and play too little? Life doesn't have to be a meeting in the senate all the time.

[Star Gazer]

The only reason I posted this was because I was kind of bored and looking for something to do. Isn't that why all of us post on here?

 

Uh, no. Certainly not you. You don't even post in the WC section and barely ever on other people's threads. So, I'm calling bullcrap. This is important to you.

 

People might RESPOND to threads or start threads in the WC section when they're simply bored. However, bored people do not repeatedly start threads about their relationship covering the same issues over and over again and then get irate and defensive when the responses aren't to their liking.

 

For some reason, you enjoy creating drama in your relationship.

[Lauriebell82]

Uh, no. Certainly not you. You don't even post in the WC section and barely ever on other people's threads. So, I'm calling bullcrap. This is important to you.

 

People might RESPOND to threads or start threads in the WC section when they're simply bored. However, bored people do not repeatedly start threads about their relationship covering the same issues over and over again and then get irate and defensive when the responses aren't to their liking.

 

For some reason, you enjoy creating drama in your relationship.

 

I have never been to the WC section, I should check that out. That's a good suggestion. I respond to my threads, but I certainly post on others. And of course this is important, it's my relationship.

 

I don't enjoy creating drama, I look for issues that aren't there because it's how my brain works. It's just out of habit because it's my profession. My boyfriend knows I do it as well, and he is trying to work with me. He'll say "your going into counselor mode babe."

[Lauriebell82]

I tend to blow things out of all proportion too and then I realise what an idiot I was for doing so. You're not alone on that one. We all have insecurity issues at some stage in our life. Well done on working on them, it's hard, but it's a better alternative than wallowing. I am guilty of being overly analytical too. It's the way your brain functions and is also a habit. You have to learn to break the habit and learn to enjoy the ebb and flow of a relationship. Be more impulsive and be more spontaneous; it's the greatest way to live life and get the most out of life. Humans are naturally pessimistic creatures, ergo I firmly believe that humans are in their element when they are feeling negatively about things or feeling negatively emotionally. It gives us a sense of importance and maybe we all work too hard and play too little? Life doesn't have to be a meeting in the senate all the time.

 

Thanks for the response. I have a hard time "going with the flow" I'm not a real easy going person.

 

My boyfriend gives me a little reminder when I'm getting to psycho-analytic on him.

[Krajt]

Thanks for the response. I have a hard time "going with the flow" I'm not a real easy going person.

 

My boyfriend gives me a little reminder when I'm getting to psycho-analytic on him.

 

Maybe that is something you can work on too? I'm sure your boyfriend won't take exception if you try!

[Jersey Shortie]

Maybe he can work on not goign to strip clubs.

[JamesM]

Maybe he can work on not going to strip clubs.

 

 

Yea, I did have a question about that.

 

If it is such a big deal to you, then why is he going?

 

I know that when I was dating and my GF did not want me going to a bachelor party with a stripper, then I would not have dreamed of going.

 

It is not a question of you trusting him. It is a question of him respecting your wishes. It is a question of him putting someone else's wishes ahead of yours.

 

Where is his priority?

[Krajt]

Yea, I did have a question about that.

 

If it is such a big deal to you, then why is he going?

 

I know that when I was dating and my GF did not want me going to a bachelor party with a stripper, then I would not have dreamed of going.

 

It is not a question of you trusting him. It is a question of him respecting your wishes. It is a question of him putting someone else's wishes ahead of yours.

 

Where is his priority?

 

The general ethos of this is noble, but it's not always practical! It's not selfish to look after your wants and needs at times you know. It's a bachelor party he is attending, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't go or decided to be a bore and distanced himself away from his friends in a different state? There would be no point of him going.

[Lauriebell82]

Yea, I did have a question about that.

 

If it is such a big deal to you, then why is he going?

 

I know that when I was dating and my GF did not want me going to a bachelor party with a stripper, then I would not have dreamed of going.

 

It is not a question of you trusting him. It is a question of him respecting your wishes. It is a question of him putting someone else's wishes ahead of yours.

 

Where is his priority?

 

Well, I didn't tell him that I didn't want him to go to the strip club. I voiced my concern about it and he told me that he is going to indulge his friend but does not really even care for them. It is a bachelor party, so I wouldn't expect him to just not go to Vegas, or to stay in the hotel while his buddies went to the strip club.

 

I see what you are saying though, and he was very understanding about my concerns and sweetly told me I have nothing to worry about and that I am the only naked woman he is interested in looking at.

[Krajt]

 

I see what you are saying though, and he was very understanding about my concerns and sweetly told me I have nothing to worry about and that I am the only naked woman he is interested in looking at.

 

You have nothing to worry about.

[JamesM]

Well, I didn't tell him that I didn't want him to go to the strip club. I voiced my concern about it and he told me that he is going to indulge his friend but does not really even care for them. It is a bachelor party, so I wouldn't expect him to just not go to Vegas, or to stay in the hotel while his buddies went to the strip club.

 

And yet he is putting THEIR indulgences over YOUR concerns? Hmm.

 

He could simply tell them that he would rather spend the weekend with you instead of them and other naked women.

 

I see what you are saying though, and he was very understanding about my concerns and sweetly told me I have nothing to worry about and that I am the only naked woman he is interested in looking at.

 

"Thanks for telling me, but I am still going." Quite understanding.

 

So he will not be looking at or be in the room with any naked women?

 

Because if he is, then he can say that he only wants to have sex with you and no one else...yet he does it anyway.

 

Just my 2c.

[Krajt]

Laurie, he is with you, that says it all. Don't listen to other people who are trying to cast your mind with doubts. He has given you his word and his word should mean more to you than a bunch of strangers on the an internet forum who are having their own relationship/life problems.

[JamesM]

Laurie, he is with you, that says it all. Don't listen to other people who are trying to cast your mind with doubts. He has given you his word and his word should mean more to you than a bunch of strangers on the an internet forum who are having their own relationship/life problems.

 

First of all, she has her own doubts...whether justifiable or not.

 

Second, read the plenty of stories on the Infidelity Board, and tell me that they did not think the same thing prior to their partner's affair.

 

Third, you are right. Should she be listening or even asking us about her relationship when we are only hearing her concerns?

 

I think the concerns she has are valid. If she is comfortable with him attending a strip club with his friends, then this should be enough. The trust should be there.

 

And then two questions arise...if she is comfortable, why is she posting this? And if he knows her concerns, then why is he going? If her concerns were relayed in a manner that said..."Go ahead but please be careful," then he is okay. But if her concerns were.."I would rather you did not go," then I have questions.

[climbergirl]

And yet he is putting THEIR indulgences over YOUR concerns? Hmm.

 

He could simply tell them that he would rather spend the weekend with you instead of them and other naked women.

 

 

 

"Thanks for telling me, but I am still going." Quite understanding.

 

So he will not be looking at or be in the room with any naked women?

 

Because if he is, then he can say that he only wants to have sex with you and no one else...yet he does it anyway.

 

Just my 2c.

 

In all fairness, I think the appropriate time to voice concern was well before the weekend of the bachelor party. I think it is unreasonable for LB to throw this concern at him just before the event and expect him to cancel now. And as an addendum-I know she hasn't done that, but he has made a committment to his friends...one that she has known about for quite some time.

[Lauriebell82]

In all fairness, I think the appropriate time to voice concern was well before the weekend of the bachelor party. I think it is unreasonable for LB to throw this concern at him just before the event and expect him to cancel now. And as an addendum-I know she hasn't done that, but he has made a committment to his friends...one that she has known about for quite some time.

 

Actually they planned this trip last summer. It's not like we live a few hours from Vegas, he has to fly across country to get there. They have had their rooms booked for like 6 months also.

 

This actually isn't the first time I've discussed the trip with him. He knows I worry about strip clubs, so he tried to ease my anxieties. It may just be hitting home now because he is going on Friday!

 

Also, James, I would NEVER expect him to cancel the trip..he already paid for it and planned it for like a year. He is a groomsman as well, so his friend really wants him there. He would be very disappointed if my boyfriend just skipped out on the trip.

[Jersey Shortie]

The general ethos of this is noble, but it's not always practical! It's not selfish to look after your wants and needs at times you know. It's a bachelor party he is attending, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't go or decided to be a bore and distanced himself away from his friends in a different state? There would be no point of him going.

 

What kind of boyfriend is he to put himself into a sexual situation with other women where he will be quite a distance away from his own girlfriend? I don't see the logic in the respect you have for his male friendships but no the respect for his girlfriend.

 

 

Laurie, he is with you, that says it all. Don't listen to other people who are trying to cast your mind with doubts. He has given you his word and his word should mean more to you than a bunch of strangers on the an internet forum who are having their own relationship/life problems

 

Relationships require a heck of alot more then just physically being with someone. The fact that he is with her, does not at all *say it all*.

 

 

 

I see what you are saying though, and he was very understanding about my concerns and sweetly told me I have nothing to worry about and that I am the only naked woman he is interested in looking at.

 

Come on. You honestly believe that? He is a guy. You are not the only woman he is interested in seeing naked. He is feeding you lines and trying to sooth you while he gets to go off and have a grand old time without really considering the nature of how you feel about something.

 

I do not understand why men have relatoinships if these kind of things are ultimately what is important to them..guy weekends with the boys going to see strippers and porn seems to rule over anything a real life gf is thinking a feeling. The message: women are unimportant to even their own men and should not expect respect.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

LB,

 

I hope that you will make a concerted effort to have the most wonderful "GNO" ever. Treat yourself, and go over the top to make it special. If I were you (with a whole free weekend to myself) I would have booked some rooms at the resort with the best spa in town, spent a day enjoying spa treatments, a wonderful dinner then an evening of dancing and acting silly with my girlfriends.

 

Please concentrate on enjoying yourself. Lizzie actually posted something the other day that made the most sense I've ever read in one of her posts. I can't quote it exactly, but basically she sad that the most powerful aphrodisiac is a woman who is completely excited and focused on her own life.

 

I'm wishing you the most incredibly adventerous GNO ever, go get crazy, let your hair down and enjoy yourself!

[Krajt]

Some women are behave in such a bitter and damaged manner that they have developed a serious case of misandry and every single guy is painted with the same brush. Laurie and her boyfriend have discussed this, she might not like the idea of him (her boyfriend) going to a strip club, but she accepts that this is part of their bachelor package and it has taken a lot of heart for her to behave in such a mature and understanding manner.

 

I honestly believe there are some seriously angry misandrist women on here who are determined to have an adverse effect on someone else's relationship through the offering of ridiculous and unhelpful advice because they haven't gotten over how one ma, or severl men have treated them.

 

I agree with the person who said have the best GNO ever! Go for it and enjoy it. Believe me, I doubt your boyfriend will be thinking about you every second of the time he spends in Las Vegas and I am sure he wants you to have a good time.

[IrishCarBomb]

Come on. You honestly believe that? He is a guy. You are not the only woman he is interested in seeing naked. He is feeding you lines and trying to sooth you while he gets to go off and have a grand old time without really considering the nature of how you feel about something.

 

The message: women are unimportant to even their own men and should not expect respect.

 

Seriously... seek professional help.

[djhall]

I'm wishing you the most incredibly adventerous GNO ever, go get crazy, let your hair down and enjoy yourself!

Maybe you and some friends should hire a couple of hunky male strippers, scatter alcohol bottles and womens' clothes around the living room, mess up your hair and makeup, and take pictures of you sitting on the mostly naked stripper's lap, him shaking it in your face, etc. When he gets home from Vegas and asks how your weekend was, you can tell him you and the girls had great time without the guys, you threw a party at your house, and after a few drinks figured the guys shouldn't have all the fun. "In fact, Jane had her digital camera with her. I think she emailed me some pictures... oh, yeah, here they are."

[Krajt]

Seriously... seek professional help.

 

I was also thinking this. Nice user name BTW, the last time I had a ICB, it blew my protractor off.

[amymarieca]

I have something I want the women in here to ponder. Do we accept men going to strip clubs because we really don't care, or because we know that if we don't we are considered an "uncool" girlfriend or a bitch? Are we really just making excuses for men like women always seem to do?

 

I'm not into playing games or anything, but I wonder what the OP's boyfriend would say if she planned a night just like the one he is going to. I'm pretty sure he'd have some issues with that. Most people would be a bit nervous.

 

I don't really blame the OP for not liking him going to Vegas, and I can't blame her for being a bit distrusting (even though she says she trusts him). Think of how many men cheat on their wives/girlfriends and no one ever finds out. No wonder most women think that their partner would never do anything to hurt them- half the time they don't even realize it is happening.

 

I trusted my last boyfriend with all my heart, and he still cheated on me. People do stupid **** sometimes. Even the most loyal person can screw up a relationship.

[Trialbyfire]

amymarieca, my ex-H cheated on me but that doesn't change my outlook on Vegas, strip bars or relationships. You either trust them or you don't. If you don't, just walk away because you're going to kill the relationship through distrust/drama, whether they're innocent or guilty. If you're married, get real evidence before walking away, so you don't get screwed legally and financially.

 

As for either Vegas or strip bars, neither bother me. As long as the guy isn't addicted to either gambling or strip clubs, let the guys have their fun without ruining their weekend or night with angst. Who cares about the cool factor or seeming like a bitch.

 

As for the men I've been in relationships with, they never cared, or showed they cared, about little things like a girls' night or weekend out.

[Jersey Shortie]

As for the men I've been in relationships with, they never cared, or showed they cared, about little things like a girls' night or weekend out.

 

I don't think the issue is really about girls night/guys night out. I think it has to do with when one gender gets a night out, they want to make it a sexual one with members of the opposite sex.

 

 

"... but she accepts that this is part of their bachelor package and it has taken a lot of heart for her to behave in such a mature and understanding manner."

 

I wonder when her boyfriend will return the favor by also acting matures and understanding. I await the return of her kindness.

 

I honestly believe there are some seriously angry misandrist women on here who are determined to have an adverse effect on someone else's relationship through the offering of ridiculous and unhelpful advice because they haven't gotten over how one ma, or severl men have treated them.

 

You're advice is not very helpful either. You are more worried about the man getting his fun with the strippers then you are about the worries of the OP.

 

 

 

I agree with the person who said have the best GNO ever! Go for it and enjoy it. Believe me, I doubt your boyfriend will be thinking about you every second of the time he spends in Las Vegas and I am sure he wants you to have a good time.

 

Of course he won't. He will be with nearly naked other women disrespecting his relationship.

 

 

Seriously... seek professional help.

 

Why? Because I think a man that tells his gf he has no interest at all in seeing other naked women when he is going on a bachelor trip to vegas to see strippers is feeding her a line? Yeah, okay. You rather attack me then discuss the good points I brought up.

[IrishCarBomb]

You rather attack me then discuss the good points I brought up.

 

The views you post are unhealthy and going to make you miserable (if they don't already). I honestly think you should seek help.

 

I would happily discuss your good points when you make them. Frankly I'd be happy to see good points instead of the man-hating garbage you currently post.