He is going to Vegas this weekend!!!!

[Legend]

Actually they planned this trip last summer. It's not like we live a few hours from Vegas, he has to fly across country to get there. They have had their rooms booked for like 6 months also.

 

This actually isn't the first time I've discussed the trip with him. He knows I worry about strip clubs, so he tried to ease my anxieties. It may just be hitting home now because he is going on Friday!

 

Also, James, I would NEVER expect him to cancel the trip..he already paid for it and planned it for like a year. He is a groomsman as well, so his friend really wants him there. He would be very disappointed if my boyfriend just skipped out on the trip.

LB, you seem to come off like the girlfriend everyone would hate...

[Krajt]

I don't think the issue is really about girls night/guys night out. I think it has to do with when one gender gets a night out, they want to make it a sexual one with members of the opposite sex.

 

I wonder when her boyfriend will return the favor by also acting matures and understanding. I await the return of her kindness.

 

 

You're advice is not very helpful either. You are more worried about the man getting his fun with the strippers then you are about the worries of the OP.

 

Of course he won't. He will be with nearly naked other women disrespecting his relationship.

 

Why? Because I think a man that tells his gf he has no interest at all in seeing other naked women when he is going on a bachelor trip to vegas to see strippers is feeding her a line? Yeah, okay. You rather attack me then discuss the good points I brought up.

 

What are your views on works of art? Would you have a problem with a man sitting down on a stool sketching naked women? I guess you would be as he might stick his paint brush somewhere you might take exception too.

 

What business is it for yours whether or not he shows acts of kindness towards her? Seriously get your own relationship and stop being just a bitter misandrist. I'm sure Laurie's boyfriend treats her well.

 

Her worries are unfounded, he has said he wants to be with her and has given her his word, now if that is not good enough for her, then maybe she needs to be out of a relationship and on her own to solve whatever insecurity issues she has. If my girlfriend asked me if she could go to a male strip club with her mates, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It might have something to do with me not being uptight and being secure enough to know it is me she is with and it is me she wants to be with.

 

Disprespecting his relationship. Please, you spin more lines than a Political spinster, I bet he phones her when he is in Las Vegas.

 

Your views are unhealthy, your hatred of men is very noticeable, you really should learn the art of subtlety.

[Federica]

I will issue this as a fair and final warning: Open and critical discussion about other members, is actively discouraged.

If anyone has issues regarding matters of this nature, please do one (or a combination) of three things:

 

Discuss them in PMs with each other.

Discuss them in PMs with that member.

Approach forum Admin with your concerns, should they warrant serious consideration.

Otherwise, please keep remarks of a critical and personal nature out of public view.

 

Thank you.

[Jersey Shortie]

Frankly I'd be happy to see good points instead of the man-hating garbage you currently post.

 

Maybe you can explain to me what is "man-hating" about my comments?

 

 

What are your views on works of art? Would you have a problem with a man sitting down on a stool sketching naked women? I guess you would be as he might stick his paint brush somewhere you might take exception too.

 

How is painting a naked women and going to a strip club the same activity? Are men really going to strip clubs to admire women in the same way they go to admire art? In a completey benign non-sexual way?

 

 

What business is it for yours whether or not he shows acts of kindness towards her? Seriously get your own relationship and stop being just a bitter misandrist. I'm sure Laurie's boyfriend treats her well.

 

Yes. Men who visit strippers AND have relatonships are treating their women very well.

 

Her worries are unfounded, he has said he wants to be with her and has given her his word, now if that is not good enough for her, then maybe she needs to be out of a relationship and on her own to solve whatever insecurity issues she has. If my girlfriend asked me if she could go to a male strip club with her mates, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It might have something to do with me not being uptight and being secure enough to know it is me she is with and it is me she wants to be with.

 

Would you feel the same way about her being the stripper? Say she just wanted to go and strip as a lark every so often. My point here is that we all have our personal boundries. I am not uptight and insecure because I find strip clubs completely disrespectful to a relationship. And I don't hate men because I think this either, which seems to be your only basis for saying what you will.

 

Disprespecting his relationship. Please, you spin more lines than a Political spinster, I bet he phones her when he is in Las Vegas.

 

Is that before or after he slipped a dollar in a thong?

 

Your views are unhealthy, your hatred of men is very noticeable, you really should learn the art of subtlety.

 

I hate men because I disagree with the idea of strippesr for men ni relationships? Errrr okay, that makes no sense.

[porter218]

He's gone to Las Vegas to have fun with friends and what is wrong with him going to strip clubs? Sure, they are seedy, but it's not like he will have the chance to cheat as it's virtually impossible to cheat in a strip club and you have to ask yourself, why would he travel a long distance to cheat when it is easier to cheat on you back in your state? Ok, I suppose the "don't dump on your doorstep comes to mind", but if a man or woman cheats and is smart, they won't get caught.

 

.

I absolutely must comment on this. I know for a fact that this statement is untrue in many different ways. My ex worked at a strip club and her other ex worked at one as well and they would constantly tell me about how some girls at some(not all) clubs would give BJs and sometimes have sex with the clients in the club. They would simply pay the bouncers who watches the videos of the VIP to 'look the other way'. They both told me that dayshift at about 1/3 of the strip clubs was more like a brothel...and this is not just where I live but all over. And this isn't including the many men who can talk the girls into leaving the club with them. My H is one of those guys...he took a girl from the strip club back to his hotel while on a business trip. I really don't know why men still try to perpetuate this lie that these things don't happen:rolleyes:.

 

Anyway, LB I can't quite understand why it is that you write sometimes that you 'know' your Bf's friends can't influence your BF at all, but then go back to say later that you are worried that his friends will influence him to live the single life. It is like you are too quick to jump to his defence that you don't even allow for any advice to get through and are even confusing yourself. I don't even want to give any advice on this because I know you will pass right by it and come straight to his defence.

[JamesM]

Okay, back on topic.

 

LB, I do understand your predicament. If this trip is done and scheduled, then your feelings are yours to deal with. Personally, I can say without a doubt that I never would have planned such a trip if I had a GF or a wife without knowing for sure what her opinions were. And if I knew that she had some questions abut me sitting in a room of naked women, then I think I would have said, "This party may be good for the single guys, but for me...well, I need to think of my future, and my future is my GF."

 

For those guys who think this is too controlling, I disagree. When we are in a LT relationship, then our goal is to make the other person's feelings and concerns our own. And we must realize that there will be things that we cannot do, and there will be things that she cannot do. When love reigns in our hearts, then sacrifice becomes a desire not a burden.

 

Having said that, it sounds to me as if you gave consent to him for whatever reason. Then now is the time to forget about what could happen and think of what you truly know will happen. Again, if I was your BF and knew of these feelings, then I would be sure that I had my cell phone on at all times so that if you so desired you could reach me. This extra reassurance is a way to alleviate your fears that something may happen in secret which is out of your control.

 

I disagree that this is nothing to worry about. Any time a man is faced with the temptation of another woman while he is committed, then this brings up the possibility of cheating.

 

Sorry. While a stripper is very impersonal and she is doing it for the money, this does not eliminate her doing additional things for more money.

 

The phrase "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" is said for a reason.

 

So, what is decided is decided. He should do whatever he can to show you that there is no worry. And you should realize that in your heart...even if you have a small doubt about his trust (and I am sure that reading the many situations on LS regarding men and strip clubs does not help! ) you do know that he has no intentions of cheating on you.

 

I fully expect to hear back from you with news that he had a great time, but he did nothing to damage your relationship.

[JamesM]

I absolutely must comment on this. I know for a fact that this statement is untrue in many different ways.

 

I don't even want to give any advice on this because I know you will pass right by it and come straight to his defence.

 

I agree.

 

It is a protected area. Either men are ignorant of the fact, or they are protective of the fact.

 

Not all men can get strippers to "go the extra mile," but the ones that do are not interested in losing that privilege.

[Krajt]

How is painting a naked women and going to a strip club the same activity? Are men really going to strip clubs to admire women in the same way they go to admire art? In a completey benign non-sexual way?

 

I don't know, ask men who go to strip clubs. I went to one and it wasn't my scene.

 

 

Yes. Men who visit strippers AND have relatonships are treating their women very well.

 

How many relationships do you know of where the man visits strip club? I think you are being a stereotypical.

 

 

Would you feel the same way about her being the stripper? Say she just wanted to go and strip as a lark every so often. My point here is that we all have our personal boundries. I am not uptight and insecure because I find strip clubs completely disrespectful to a relationship. And I don't hate men because I think this either, which seems to be your only basis for saying what you will.

 

Her going to a strip club and her being a stripper are two completely separate issues, nice Republican spin though, do you work for John McCain?

 

Is that before or after he slipped a dollar in a thong?

 

Ask him, not me, I'm not going a strip club, he is!

 

 

 

I hate men because I disagree with the idea of strippesr for men ni relationships? Errrr okay, that makes no sense.

 

No, having read some other posts you are posts you come across as a misandrist. If you are not, then maybe you should think about your netiquette.

[Lishy]

My ex went to a strip club with his brother and his brother went down on a stripper right there infront of everyone and he was married!

 

It def does happen but it doesnt mean it WILL happen

 

I think LB should trust her bf as it makes no odds, nothing she says would make him do it or not make him do it!

[Krajt]

I agree.

 

It is a protected area. Either men are ignorant of the fact, or they are protective of the fact.

 

Not all men can get strippers to "go the extra mile," but the ones that do are not interested in losing that privilege.

 

There's strict rules where I live with regards to what can be done in a strip club and sexual activities with the women are prohibited. Any touching of women that is deemed inappropriate is met with hositility and that person(s) are 'escorted safely' off the premises by the bouncers.

[Jersey Shortie]

I really don't know why men still try to perpetuate this lie that these things don't happen.

 

 

I dont get it either. We know men like women. We know men like naked women. We know there is a certain amount of sexuality going on at a strip club. It's not something that is innocent when you have an elemant that is meant to cause men being attracted to women. And then men wonder why we question such a situation? You *should* trust your partner. but your partner needs to follow through and show that he is trust worthy by his actions as well. It's not a one way street. Both partners either do things that add to the trust or take away from it.

 

JamesM, I think you have given wonderful advice and I truly wish more men thought like you.

 

No, having read some other posts you are posts you come across as a misandrist. If you are not, then maybe you should think about your netiquette.

 

Perhaps you are a misoginist? Due to your netiquette and all. What facts are you basing your opinion on that I hate men? The fact that I think strip clubs are out of the question? And porn is disrespectful?

[JamesM]

There's strict rules where I live with regards to what can be done in a strip club and sexual activities with the women are prohibited. Any touching of women that is deemed inappropriate is met with hositility and that person(s) are 'escorted safely' off the premises by the bouncers.

 

There are strict rules where I live as well, but different areas have different rules.

 

And rules are meant to be broken.

 

And I know for a fact, that they are.

[porter218]

There's strict rules where I live with regards to what can be done in a strip club and sexual activities with the women are prohibited. Any touching of women that is deemed inappropriate is met with hositility and that person(s) are 'escorted safely' off the premises by the bouncers.

We have the same 'strict' rules where I live. Doesn't stop it from happening. Depends on the club and their relationship with the police....It isn't like it is completely public knowledge that these things happen but if you know someone who strips or one of the men who have received the 'perks' then you are privy to the knowledge. This is a nationwide thing, not a local thing. The girls I know that strip have done it across the US and they said it was all the same.

 

I am not saying this stuff to scare you LB because your bf probably will not go that far. Really you should start standing up for how you feel more with him. It seems like whenever there is an issue that arises in your R that you just back down and let him have his way every time...then try to explain to us that it never bothered you in the first place. Almost like it is your bf posting and not you.

[Jersey Shortie]

Her going to a strip club and her being a stripper are two completely separate issues, nice Republican spin though, do you work for John McCain?

 

Why? Your ideas on why you think strip clubs are okay is that he is coming home to her and that she should trust her. If a man trusts his woman, and she is coming home to him, whats the big deal? If the man isn't doing anything wrong by watching a stripper while he is in a relationship. How is a woman doing anythign wrong by stripping whhile in a relationship?

[Krajt]

 

 

 

Perhaps you are a misoginist? Due to your netiquette and all. What facts are you basing your opinion on that I hate men? The fact that I think strip clubs are out of the question? And porn is disrespectful?

 

Ha! I was waiting for that comment. No, I like and respect my girlfriend too much to be misogynistic. Do I care about other women, barring friends, and immediate family? No, not particularly! Does that make me a misogynist? I suppose so!

 

You spelt misogynist wrong btw!

 

There are strict rules where I live as well, but different areas have different rules.

 

And rules are meant to be broken.

 

And I know for a fact, that they are.

 

Clearly, human beings are naturally amoral in pretty much every aspect of their life. Would I go to a strip club at a bachelor party? Yes, because it's a bachelor party? Would I grope over the women who are there? No, because I have self control, too many women stereotype men based on a spectrum of algae and it's deeply unfair. Would I look at the women and say "man these women are hot?". Yeah, most probably, I didn't realise it was cheating to look and not touch, in which case if it is then I've cheated on my girlfriend a few hundred times throughout the duration of the relationship.

 

I don't make it my aim to go to a strip club, I have minimal interest in sitting around in a dim lit room watching women swirling around on poles. I can understand why bachelor parties groups go to strip clubs and many of men who go there, I doubt cheat. A small minority of men who have done so have given narrow-minded women the chance to stereotype.

 

If Laurie's boyfriend cheats on her, then I hope she finds out and ditches him and finds a man who has self control, but to stereotype every person who goes into a strip club as being misogynistic, unfaithful and sleazy is very harsh.

[Krajt]

Why? Your ideas on why you think strip clubs are okay is that he is coming home to her and that she should trust her. If a man trusts his woman, and she is coming home to him, whats the big deal? If the man isn't doing anything wrong by watching a stripper while he is in a relationship. How is a woman doing anythign wrong by stripping whhile in a relationship?

 

How is it the same? Her watching another person stripping is not the same as her stripping off for other people and yes she can strip if she wants to, not that she will do, she's not like that. But if she does, she can, but she won't have me as her boyfriend anymore. She won't go to a strip club anyway, she's not that way inclined, but I have left the door open to her. Why? Simple, because to me it is not something I am worried about and if she cheats on me, yeah, I'll be crushed (if I find out) and then I'll move onto the next chapter of my life.

 

Are you a relation of Mary Whitehouse?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

How is it the same? Her watching another person stripping is not the same as her stripping off for other people

 

I completely disagree with this. If ones SO can enjoy watching other women strip then how is any different for other men to enjoy watching her strip. Its the men who are the visual creatures and the women who enjoy that type of attention. I would certainly rather my H strip in front of other women than watch other women stip infront of him. SO to me it is equal and fair IF that is how he chooses to act in the relationship.

[JamesM]

Her watching another person stripping is not the same as her stripping off for other people and yes she can strip if she wants to, not that she will do, she's not like that. But if she does, she can, but she won't have me as her boyfriend anymore.

 

You are completely right.

 

He chooses to pay a stripper to undress as a way to get a sexual thrill. She strips as a way to make money, and it gives her no sexual thrill.

 

Which is worse?

 

And why would you care if your woman stripped for other men?

 

Perhaps it is because you know what goes on the mind...and pants...of other men?

 

Case closed. The effects of strippers on committed men is not good for the relationship.

 

If you would not let your woman strip yet you feel that it is okay to watch strippers, then you have a double standard that betrays the actual reason that men like strippers.

[serialgf]

I will issue this as a fair and final warning: Open and critical discussion about other members, is actively discouraged.

If anyone has issues regarding matters of this nature, please do one (or a combination) of three things:

 

Discuss them in PMs with each other.

Discuss them in PMs with that member.

Approach forum Admin with your concerns, should they warrant serious consideration.

Otherwise, please keep remarks of a critical and personal nature out of public view.

 

Thank you.

 

Federica:

I have a question for you as a moderator (unrelated to this thread) and you don't have private messaging enabled so I have to ask here:

 

are you allowed to use that picture of audrey hepburn as your avatar? i am asking because i wasn't sure if there was a rule at loveshack that you can only use photos that you have legal rights to, as there are with other social networking sites and forums....

 

just wondering for my own use too...

thanks

[Krajt]

You are completely right.

 

He chooses to pay a stripper to undress as a way to get a sexual thrill. She strips as a way to make money, and it gives her no sexual thrill.

 

Which is worse?

 

And why would you care if your woman stripped for other men?

 

Perhaps it is because you know what goes on the mind...and pants...of other men?

 

Case closed. The effects of strippers on committed men is not good for the relationship.

 

If you would not let your woman strip yet you feel that it is okay to watch strippers, then you have a double standard that betrays the actual reason that men like strippers.

 

Absolutely not, watching the activity and part taking in the activity are two separate issues.

[JamesM]

Absolutely not, watching the activity and part taking in the activity are two separate issues.

 

Yes, they are. But the motivation behind each tells the true story.

 

Is a stripper cheating on her husband/boyfriend? Is a husband/ boyfriend cheating on his wife/girlfriend?

 

The answer is either yes or no in both cases. And if one is okay, then the other is okay.

[Krajt]

It's black and white, James! It really isn't.

[Lauriebell82]

There's strict rules where I live with regards to what can be done in a strip club and sexual activities with the women are prohibited. Any touching of women that is deemed inappropriate is met with hositility and that person(s) are 'escorted safely' off the premises by the bouncers.

 

Yeah, and randomly hooking up with some stranger (or stripper) is NOT something my boyfriend would do anyway, even if it wasn't restricted. He's not a man to go for a "one night only" hookup. He likes "clean girls" and would probably be too afraid she would have a disease or something.

[Krajt]

Yeah, and randomly hooking up with some stranger (or stripper) is NOT something my boyfriend would do anyway, even if it wasn't restricted. He's not a man to go for a "one night only" hookup. He likes "clean girls" and would probably be too afraid she would have a disease or something.

 

Well then you have nothing to worry about and I am like that too. I don't mind watching porn, but I wouldn't want to be a pornstar. I posted a post somewhere that I am not sure if you read, it went somewhere along the lines of not posting because you have idle thumbs, you could have saved yourself a headache from all the reading.

[Lauriebell82]

Well then you have nothing to worry about and I am like that too. I don't mind watching porn, but I wouldn't want to be a pornstar. I posted a post somewhere that I am not sure if you read, it went somewhere along the lines of not posting because you have idle thumbs, you could have saved yourself a headache from all the reading.

 

Yeah, this has been a very interesting thread, I must say.