He is going to Vegas this weekend!!!!

[Lauriebell82]

I know I'm right. Trust me on this. I've seen it soooooo many times, but with far worse characters who would be up to no good. Your BF is just not that type.

 

Also, he's been texting you though, correct? I bet you he's even snuck off to send you those. He does care, LB.

 

Yeah, he has. Is this just a mid 20's guy thing? When those guys get together it's like nobody else in the world exists (including gfs, wives, ect.)

 

When I called him he didn't seem upset or anything he said "hey babe!" He did say his phone was going to die, but that's not surprising because he doesn't charge it until it's fully dead.

[Star Gazer]

So you're whole-heartedly against bachelor/ette parties to begin with? You don't think men should be able to bond with their friends? You think the only person he should have a special relationship with is LB? I think that POV is unreasonable, and think that you should have prefaced that in your very first post to LB in this thread to give her a better context of where you're coming from.

[Lauriebell82]

He's BONDING? Wow. Too funny! He's living with LB. THAT'S who he is supposed to be bonded with. Too late for the circle jerks. Is he a man or a boy?

 

 

I think he is somewhere in between "man and boy." A "guy" is the word I would use.

[Star Gazer]

Yeah, he has. Is this just a mid 20's guy thing? When those guys get together it's like nobody else in the world exists (including gfs, wives, ect.)

 

When I called him he didn't seem upset or anything he said "hey babe!" He did say his phone was going to die, but that's not surprising because he doesn't charge it until it's fully dead.

 

When you attend bachelorette parties, do the men exist? I hope your focus is on your girlfriends, and not on your BF.

 

When you're bonding with your girlfriends - a spa day, helping soothe a broken heart, shopping for wedding dresses, watching SATC with Chinese takeout, whatever it is... - is your focus on your BF? Again, I hope not. Otherwise you really have no life beyond him...and that's REALLY unhealthy.

[Star Gazer]

I think he is somewhere in between "man and boy." A "guy" is the word I would use.

 

Funny. I agree. I've always believed there are three categories of the male species: boys, guys, and men.

 

Your BF is definitely a "guy."

 

 

BTW - that post a few up was directed at Touche, just in case I wasn't clear.

[Lishy]

I could not disagree with Star more and if we are on the subject of considering the sources then LB, consider that Star (no disrespect meant) puts up with far more from guys then most. I would not consider not getting even ONE call acceptable but I do expect more from a relationship where you live together.

 

I do not put down every relationship, not at all! I have supported LB, I am not saying he does not care, I am just saying that maybe he is not ready for huge commitment right now (26 is too young anyway IMO) so it is not big deal. You have the rest of your lives together if you so choose.

[Lauriebell82]

Funny. I agree. I've always believed there are three categories of the male species: boys, guys, and men.

 

Your BF is definitely a "guy."

 

 

BTW - that post a few up was directed at Touche, just in case I wasn't clear.

 

Yeah, I got that. He said he'd call me "later." I'm not sure what that means, but hopefully he will. I would love to talk to him, I really miss him.

[Touche]

LB, you're right on the money. He's between a man and a boy. But trust me, you don't want to marry anything less than a MAN. Not saying he won't get there some day, but he's far from it now.

 

SG...

 

So you're whole-heartedly against bachelor/ette parties to begin with? You don't think men should be able to bond with their friends? You think the only person he should have a special relationship with is LB? I think that POV is unreasonable, and think that you should have prefaced that in your very first post to LB in this thread to give her a better context of where you're coming from.

 

To answer your questions:

 

Yes, I'm wholeheartedly against bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think they're low class and for the immature.

 

Yes, men should be able to bond with their friends...within reason.

 

No, I don't think the only person he should have a special relationship with is LB but it should be above and beyond all others. That means not CARING what his "guy" friends think when he calls her to say goodnight or check in with her.

 

As for this part:

 

I think that POV is unreasonable, and think that you should have prefaced that in your very first post to LB in this thread to give her a better context of where you're coming from

 

Are you serious with all of that? Wow.

 

Sorry, SG. We're completely on different pages here, that's for sure. And by the way, I don't owe anyone any kind of preface/disclaimer here. You're not seriously trying to tell me how/what to post are you? I sure hope not.

[djhall]

Yeah, he has. Is this just a mid 20's guy thing? When those guys get together it's like nobody else in the world exists (including gfs, wives, ect.).

Maybe, but I know plenty of men who do variations of this without the temptations of Vegas. I don't have any interest in hunting, but I know quite a few men who go "hunting" a couple times a year so they can spend a week with just the guys somewhere and no phones, no cell phones, no contact... nothing but the guys. I'm pretty sure at least half of them don't really care about "hunting" anything more than empty beer cans.

[Lishy]

LB, answer me this ... Would he be happy if you did that to him? Went to vegas with the girls who he knows are a bad influence on you and he knows you are going to strip shows and to act like a fool for a few days and all you do is send the odd text?

 

It is un-acceptable and you know it babe

[Lauriebell82]

LB, answer me this ... Would he be happy if you did that to him? Went to vegas with the girls who he knows are a bad influence on you and he knows you are going to strip shows and to act like a fool for a few days and all you do is send the odd text?

 

It is un-acceptable and you know it babe

 

I don't what he would think. He'd probably be shocked because he knows damn well I would call him from Vegas.

[Lishy]

I don't what he would think. He'd probably be shocked because he knows damn well I would call him from Vegas.

 

Of course you would LB, and why? Because it is RESPECT! Even if you had 10 girls telling you not to and ribbing you, you would still call him!

 

You know I support you and I really do but this is not acceptable under any circumstance!

 

After this I would label him in the boy catagory at present, he has much growing up to do!

 

You need to give him a taste of his own medicine!

[Touche]

Gotta agree with Lishy on this one.

 

See here's the thing: Of COURSE he'd expect you to call, LB. We teach people how to treat us.

 

Right?

 

So he already has certain expectations from you. And he'd have a problem if you didn't meet those expectations.

 

That's not true the other way around though is it?

[Storyrider]

Take this with a grain of salt, because it is just my gut reaction, but, after reading many of your threads, LB, I really feel that your boyfriend is just not ready to live with someone.

 

He seems very young for his age and immature, and I don't see him being ready to get married for several years.

 

This, combined with your tendency to work yourself up with worry over small things, has got the wrong dynamic going between you.

[Lauriebell82]

I just talked to his friend who came back tonight from Vegas. He was telling me that it was hard for them to make phone calls because you can't use your cell phones in the casino. He said that he was only able to call his gf once when he went back up to the room for something.

 

Storyrider, I think you are right though, he's still immature and won't be ready for marriage for awhile. If he isn't ready to live with someone, then why did he suggest moving in together?

[lonelyandfrustrated]

I just talked to his friend who came back tonight from Vegas. He was telling me that it was hard for them to make phone calls because you can't use your cell phones in the casino. He said that he was only able to call his gf once when he went back up to the room for something.

 

Storyrider, I think you are right though, he's still immature and won't be ready for marriage for awhile. If he isn't ready to live with someone, then why did he suggest moving in together?

 

1. That's a load of bull. There's plenty of places in a casino where you can use a phone, it's just frowned upon at the tables.

 

2. Cake. And eating it.

 

I don't think you should ditch your guy because he went to Vegas with his buds. But I do think you should expect respect and contact.

[Storyrider]

Storyrider, I think you are right though, he's still immature and won't be ready for marriage for awhile. If he isn't ready to live with someone, then why did he suggest moving in together?

 

Well, he probably has mixed feelings about it. I'm sure he genuinely loves you and wants to be with you, but he just didn't realize he wasn't ready. I lived with someone when I was 22 and he was 21, and it was a disaster. It felt more like playing house than a real relationship.

 

I know you are both older than that, but your situation seems similar.

[Touche]

I lived with a couple of boyfriends before I was 30. I was not ready for marriage and nor were they. It was just an arrangement we had.

 

Some live-in boyfriends just think of you as a roommate with benefits, so to speak. Some see it as a little more and some see it as a precursor to marriage.

 

Since we're talking about the boy/guy/man thing...there are also different degrees of "living together."

 

My opinion? Your "guy" is also in the middle as far as living arrangements. He's in between roommate with benefits and precursor to marriage.

 

Been there, done that. So SG can say what she wants. But the fact is that some of us are more than a decade and almost two decades older than she is. We know how this goes down.

 

I never got married to the "in between" guys. If anyone else ever has, please come forward.

 

I've also never married a man who was of a mind to have a "bachelor party" .

 

LS, is about all perspectives and all ages and experiences. Is it not?

 

I'm just giving you mine.

 

I'd like to add that you're way, way more mature than I was at your age. Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind, LB.

 

I mean I'm just throwing that out there. You're different though. But you're with a typical guy that age...one who also most likely isn't ready for that kind of commitment.

 

Be open to the fact that this guy might just be Mr. Right Now...and not Mr. Right.

[Touche]

1. That's a load of bull. There's plenty of places in a casino where you can use a phone, it's just frowned upon at the tables.

 

2. Cake. And eating it.

 

I don't think you should ditch your guy because he went to Vegas with his buds. But I do think you should expect respect and contact.

 

I must say that that was very well put.

[sb129]

Yeah, I know I was a little suprised that he didn't call at all. I don't know why he cares what his friends think so much. I think part of the reason why he can't/won't commit is because he can't cut the cord from his friends.

 

OK, well I am coming into this thread very late, so apologies.

I don't think your BF should be expected to cut the cord from his friends. Sometimes things come up that you may not be 100% cool with, but you have to just suck them in and deal with them. Bachelor parties are one of those things- if your guy has friends, then chances are he will be going to a few in his lifetime.

 

I am not the greatest fan of bachelor(ette) parties etc, however my BFF had hers this weekend, and we all got together to play Wii and we went bowling and other stuff, then we went for dinner drinks and dancing and it was great to see my friends and catch up with them, as I hadn't seen a few of them for over a year. Nobody was interested in talking to other men because we had so much to say to eachother!

 

I didn't call wonderboy all day, and he was cool with that.

 

LB - consider the sources. As much as I love Touche (), she rarely if ever has anything good to say about anyone's relationship. (It's true!!!!) Lishy is the same way. T.

 

With respect, both Touche and Lishy have said lots of nice stuff about my R with WB.

[Lucky_One]

Yes, that's true; you can use your cell anywhere in a casino (or in a hotel lobby or walking down the street or in a cab) except when sitting at a table. You just get them to hold your spot and they put a chip in your spot, and you leave the table to take or make a call or to go to the restroom or to go to the ATM for yet another withdrawal.

 

I am somewhere between Stargazer and Touche. I would expect a call or so, but I wouldn't expect much more than that. And the older you are, the more you would expect. My BF and I aren't living together, and we make it a point to speak every morning and every evening if we are apart, but we are in our 30's; we would have a sort of pattern set up for contact before one of us took a trip anyway.

 

Don't know if he is ready for marriage or not, but his remarks as you relate them here seem to indicate that you want it now and he does not.

[sb129]

Yes, that's true; you can use your cell anywhere in a casino (or in a hotel lobby or walking down the street or in a cab) except when sitting at a table. You just get them to hold your spot and they put a chip in your spot, and you leave the table to take or make a call or to go to the restroom or to go to the ATM for yet another withdrawal.

 

 

Don't know how many people out there are into casinos and all that, but when you are playing a hot deck in blackjack, the ONLY thing that would get you away from the table is if you were about to pee your pants. Its very exciting!

Being inside a casino is weird, its like another world- you lose your normal sense of time and reality, and they are designed to enhance that so you spend as much time and money in there as possible.

 

I am somewhere between Stargazer and Touche. I would expect a call or so, but I wouldn't expect much more than that.

 

Same here.

[Touche]

I know I'm off-topic LB, sorry. But thanks, SB. People want to see what they want to see. It serves their purposes I guess.

 

You've been one of the stellar examples of what a good and healthy relationship looks like. I LOVE when I can spot that and point that out. Love it.

 

The nature of LS and being the kind of forum it is, doesn't afford me that many opportunities, I'm sad to say.

 

But that doesn't mean I'm a negative person. NOT at all. Anyone who truly knows me would agree. That's just the nature of this forum. We just don't have that many opportunities to say "LOOK! THIS is what a really healthy and good relationship looks like, people!"

 

 

And when I spotted one (yours) I shouted it from the rooftops.

 

It's clear many don't understand who or what I'm about.

 

It's ok, though. This is not about me.

 

And I do think LB has always known that I'm really on her side. Anyone who would go back and read all my posts to her would know that.

[lonelyandfrustrated]

Being inside a casino is weird, its like another world- you lose your normal sense of time and reality, and they are designed to enhance that so you spend as much time and money in there as possible.

 

 

I'll agree with that! There is no time in a casino...it's bright and noisy and you could enter at 6pm to play a few slots and next thing you know, it's 5am. Plus, there's the free drinks.

[Star Gazer]

Yes, I'm wholeheartedly against bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think they're low class and for the immature.

 

I will attend them, throw them, and have one of my own someday. Therefore, I'm low class and immature.

 

Cool!