Does anybody have anything nice to say about E-Harmony?

[Shygirl15]

Totally sucks.

 

I paid my $$$, which is a lot more than what I usually pay for other dating websites, and guess what; I'm totally incompatible with anyone!!

 

Every time I search, I get this:

 

"Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now. However, we are always automatically searching for new matches for you. Several thousand people join eHarmony each day and our matching system evaluates each one of them within 24 hours to see if they are a great match for you".

 

Charming!

 

Since I joined last Thursday, only three lousy matches were sent to me, out of which one person opened communication with me. A PLUMBER. A plumber is in a real PLUMBER.

 

I'm done.

[westernxer]

I created a profile but have not joined yet. In the past month I've been matched to over 100 women... about a dozen or so have requested further communication. I'm not sure I want to pay the fee, since I don't know what any of these women look like, and I'm not sure I would receive more matches if I did.

 

I was rejected the first time I registered, so I had to flip my answers around to sound like marriage material. Guess I was curious, especially after all the sappy commercials featuring Dr. Warren. LOL

[quankanne]

Does anybody have anything nice to say about E-Harmony?

 

"it's got a great sense of humor and is really smart?

 

kind of odd that your profile wasn't able to generate more responses ... maybe you should reconfigure some of your answers, you know be less specific and open to different possibilities in the subjects you aren't die-hard sure about. That could open up more possibilities.

 

however, if you're appalled by being matched with a plumber, the last suggestion might not be a smart one, because you really are kind of too rigid to match up?

[JamesM]

I got stuck on "what is wrong with a plumber?"

 

What occupation is most fitting to you?

 

And this plumber may own his own business. A lawyer or doctor may not. Who will end up being richer? Who will spend more time with you?

 

I say communicate with the plumber, and I doubt you will be flushing your money down the drain. On the other hand...okay, I had better not carry the plumber jokes too far!

[Shygirl15]

I'm not too rigid to match up; I have my preferences and dating a plumber does not happen to be one of them. I have matched up quite easily on other dating sites like Match and Yahoo Personal, so if anything is rigid here it's the E-Harmony matching system.

 

I really wonder if their 'matching up' is based on the details we have put in our profiles; I clearly stated my preference height would be a 6'0" plus, but all my matches are waay below that height. I also didn't put any race preferences, but only black guys have been shoved my way.. ?

[quankanne]

my girlfriend started filling out their profile apps but quit because she said it was too much work to think about some of the questions. Which leads me to believe that eHarmony is looking for compatibility based on other than physical or other superficial qualifications, because they're interested in getting people together who actually DO have a common base that translates into long-term relationships.

 

it's easy to check off boxes that say "over 6 feet, height/weight proportional and rakes in a mid-six-figure income," because those things lean toward something that is NOT what eHarmony is looking to promote. There are other sites that can offer that minimal kind of search, is my guess.

[Shygirl15]

I got stuck on "what is wrong with a plumber?"

 

What occupation is most fitting to you

Someone with a white collar job.

 

And this plumber may own his own business. A lawyer or doctor may not. Who will end up being richer? Who will spend more time with you?

It's not about money, I'm looking for a certain intellectual level, which a plumber is unlikely to have. I just need someone I can converse with at the same level.

[westernxer]

Don't list any preferences... let everything come through unfiltered and close the matches that don't suit you.

[quankanne]

I just need someone I can converse with at the same level.

 

:laugh: at the risk of sounding condescending, but without meaning to, what makes you think you'd be able to carry on a conversation with a white collar guy? Isn't it more about compatibility across the board rather than assuming that because he's a stock-broker or day-trader, he's prime material for conversation?

[JamesM]

It's not about money, I'm looking for a certain intellectual level, which a plumber is unlikely to have. I just need someone I can converse with at the same level.

 

This is actually not necessarily a connection.

 

I know of a teacher who was very intellectual. Yet he decided that he wanted to do his own business and became an electrician. Did his intelligence change? No.

 

Many, many so-called white collars (and I was one of them) are not so very intellectual Fact is...many simply went into business because they did not know of what else to do with their life.

 

And conversely, many intelligent people started their own businesses because they knew they could do it better.

 

I DO know what you mean, but I think your requirements are not what they should be.

 

So, you need a man of any race (but why are you sending me blacks?)

 

You need a white collar guy who is intelligent.

 

You want a guy over six foot.

 

And you wonder why you have few choices?

 

BTW, I am white, 5'11 1/2", whitish blue collar worker. When I was a real white collar worker, I was less intelligent than I am now...I think.

 

I do think it is important to be picky about who you date, but then it is also expected that your choices will reflect this.

[Shygirl15]

I what makes you think you'd be able to carry on a conversation with a white collar guy?

 

 

Because I always have. I have only dated this type of guys, and at this point I have no desire to explore outside this group of people. Shallow? Maybe. But it's what makes me comfortable. Shame E-Harmony cannot co-operate with me on this one.

[westernxer]

 

Because I always have. I have only dated this type of guys, and at this point I have no desire to explore outside this group of people. Shallow? Maybe. But it's what makes me comfortable. Shame E-Harmony cannot co-operate with me on this one.

 

Most of my matches were asian or latina. Thank goodness I didn't select whites only.

[Shygirl15]

This is actually not necessarily a connection.

 

I know of a teacher who was very intellectual. Yet he decided that he wanted to do his own business and became an electrician. Did his intelligence change? No.

 

Many, many so-called white collars (and I was one of them) are not so very intellectual Fact is...many simply went into business because they did not know of what else to do with their life.

 

And conversely, many intelligent people started their own businesses because they knew they could do it better.

 

I DO know what you mean, but I think your requirements are not what they should be.

 

So, you need a man of any race (but why are you sending me blacks?)

 

You need a white collar guy who is intelligent.

 

You want a guy over six foot.

 

And you wonder why you have few choices?

 

BTW, I am white, 5'11 1/2", whitish blue collar worker. When I was a real white collar worker, I was less intelligent than I am now...I think.

 

I do think it is important to be picky about who you date, but then it is also expected that your choices will reflect this.

 

My statement was a general observation and I agree that there maybe some few exceptions either way; white collar guys who are not exactly smart and blue collar like yourself and the teacher who happens to be very intelligent. However I'm not willing to take that risk with this plumber only to confirm my previous doubts on his low intellectual level. I also may not feel exactly comfortable introducing my boyfriend as a plumber to my circle of friends. Yeah, I know. Shallow.

 

I have met online and even dated many intelligent white collar, six-feet plus guys, so it's not like I'm looking for the impossible here. I believe there are plenty of them on E-Harmony as well, and that they should just let us search for our own matches the way other dating sites do, instead of matching us up based on whatever criteria they use.

[westernxer]

I believe there are plenty of them on E-Harmony as well, and that they should just let us search for our own matches the way other dating sites do, instead of matching us up based on whatever criteria they use.

 

You haven't heard of E-Harmony's 37 levels of compatibility? Love is right at your doorstep. LOL

[Shygirl15]

Most of my matches were asian or latina. Thank goodness I didn't select whites only.

 

I didn't even have any race preference selected, it's a wonder why they decided to shove my way black guys only.

[Jilly Bean]

I joined a month or so ago.

 

I regularly get 7 matches a day.

 

So far - NO ONE has interested me in the slightest (besides one guy who rejected me - lol).

 

Yes, I imagine the men on there are looking for relationships, but IMO, they have been total bottom feeders. I would say 90% of the men I have been matched with are very unattractive and overweight, or, tiny (like under 5'10") and petite. Most are not of my ilk at all. Which annoys me, as then why complete all those questions if they will just match you with someone incompatible?

 

Ive gone through correspondence stages with a few, but I have no accepted anyone's invitation for a date yet.

 

I paid only $20 for three months, so not a big investment and I will just be riding it out.

 

But so far - NOTHING.

 

I will say, however, when I was on this site years ago when I lived in Boston, the quality of men was much better. Location seems to have a lot to do with it.

 

Overall, I think match is probably the best one out there.

[westernxer]

I didn't even have any race preference selected, it's a wonder why they decided to shove my way black guys only.

 

That is strange... maybe not much in your region on that site.

 

Yes, I imagine the men on there are looking for relationships, but IMO, they have been total bottom feeders... Which annoys me, as then why complete all those questions if they will just match you with someone incompatible?

 

That's why I'm afraid to pay, but I may at some point, in order to see what my 100+ matches look like.

[westernxer]

Some reviews here (a ton, in fact, most of them look bad)...

 

http://www.edatereview.com/011012displayreviews.aspx

[Jilly Bean]

That's why I'm afraid to pay, but I may at some point, in order to see what my 100+ matches look like.

 

LOL.

 

Well, as a member, you get to see photos when the match is sent to you.

 

But I will say that what they do, that is pretty slimey, is still send you matches of people that aren't even paying members. So, you THINK you're getting all this action, but its useless.

 

Eh, like I said - it was $20 for 3 months. If I meet one cool out of it, it will have been worth it.

[westernxer]

Eh, like I said - it was $20 for 3 months. If I meet one cool out of it, it will have been worth it.

 

Yeah, $20 for three months is painless. That's three days worth of Starbucks. LOL

[rod_in_gtown]

I didn't even have any race preference selected, it's a wonder why they decided to shove my way black guys only.

 

Maybe because all the 6'+ non-black guys want to date caucasian blondes? Maybe you don't have a preference but maybe your dating pool on E-Harmony does.

 

BTW, I did E-Harmony when I got divorced 3 years ago and I hated it.

[Shygirl15]

Wow. I paid about $60 to use for one month. I wonder how that could be?

[rod_in_gtown]

I will say, however, when I was on this site years ago when I lived in Boston, the quality of men was much better. Location seems to have a lot to do with it.

 

This may be Shygirl's problem. DC has an enormous black population.

[Jilly Bean]

This may be Shygirl's problem. DC has an enormous black population.

 

You can select the race of your matches...

[Star Gazer]

I've had two great relationships come out of eHarmony. One ended because I moved away, and with the other the spark fizzled...but we were SO compatible in every other way!

 

IME, the guys on eH are much more relationship-oriented than other sites. You're also matched on personality and long-term goals rather than checking a box for a certain height and eye color, ya know? Only problem is, like 95% of them will not be your physical type....AT ALL. It just takes a LOT of patience. But if you find someone you're attracted to, the *click* is pretty damn awesome.