Author smile711 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 jj-do you live in my counselor's head? She actually just gave me a book called "Co-dependent No More", which is about the most incredible book I have read. I see myself in so much of what it says, and though it's scary to see what I have lead myself to, it's also nice to read that there is a way out and that I am making strides in that direction. merlin-love the post! Though there is one thing I'd like to say-I'm pretty sure he must still love me-he'd be crazy not to! I'm one hell of a catch! lol! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 I think this guy still loves you.Obviously his wife is keeping him prisoner, and he is sending you a secret code? NO! He is doing what he does best, acting like a child out of the clutches of his mother and whats worse is he doesnt even care about you enough to just text you.Instead he's playing mindgames, trying to get you to 'bite' (fisherman's terms) without any committment on his part.That way it was you who started it over.I have the feeling you know this, but you are still emotionally attached to this creep and he knows it.Do yourself a favour and stop analysing it.Keep to the no contact and in six months or so the thought of him will give you a cold chill or make you feel nauseous, one or the other! NC-it's there for a reason :To get the OXYTOCIN out of your system and get rational again!! It'll get easier over time if you ignore this jerk. How is a wife (or husband) setting the boundary that "If you want to be with me, you'll never contact the OM/OW again"? constitute holding someone prisoner? Unless she's got a gun and barbed wire around the house, I'm not sure it's quite the same thing. She's setting a BOUNDARY FOR WHAT SHE'S WILLING TO ACCEPT IN HER MARRIAGE...I don't get it...what's wrong with that? She'd be stupid to ACCEPT continued contact between them while trying to work on rebuilding the marriage, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile711 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 Owl- I took it as total sarcasm on Merlin's part. I actually think that you both are saying the same thing-he isn't a prisoner and if he wanted to choose to do things, he could. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Cool...I may well have misunderstood (sometimes sarcasm is hard to catch online!), and if so...I totally apologize! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile711 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Share Posted September 25, 2008 Just an update! Today has been better. Went to the doctor's for a checkup (physical and mental!) and he gave me some medicine to help with my out of control anxiety and obsessive thoughts and behaviors related to this whole situation. I was wary of the medicine at first (I obviously have firsthand knowledge of addicts) because I was afraid of getting addicted to it. But my doctor assured me that we'll keep it at a low dose a couple weeks at a time till I don't need it anymore. I am willing to try anything to get the panic attacks and anxiety under control. I truly believe that there is no worse feeling in the world. Hopefully with the medicine and my IC, I can start to regain some control over my life again. One more thing-the doctor told me that I have to start saying "I will not let him (xMM) take one more day of my life". I have to say it every day, all the time, till I believe it. This may be the hardest assignment of all, because that means that I will have to accept the state of things and that's going to take all my courage. I am not there yet but I hope I'm on my way. Link to post Share on other sites
mytruelove Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 i just got done reading something on positive affirmations - i'm a big believer in them and am trying to practice them also. i REALLY think they work wonders. i know it helps me. take care hon - your going to be just fine(((Hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
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