FWB and Neighbour

[julkat]

I'm 42, separated for over a year. My FWB is 48, living apart for about 8 months but only legally separated from his wife for about 2 months. He was my ex-husband's childhood friend. Over the past year my ex no longer bothers with him, nor he with my ex (my ex is an addict).

 

He has been such a good friend to me, and me to him. We would have called ourselves best friends in the past year. However, we hooked up about 4 weeks ago after months of sexual innuendos. Our discussions have centered around a sexual relationship, with the understanding that he and his wife are still evaluating whether they have anything to return to. In addition, he had another FWB across the road from him for a bit, but she returned to her ex-husband prior to me and him hooking up.

 

I don't really have a dilemna, but I find myself in unfamiliar territory.

 

Last night he made me dinner, we went for a very intimate walk in the dark, through a park and along a beach, holding hands and stopping to kiss occasionally. We returned to his place and had a wonderful night together. It's a most amazing relationship and we are extremely compatible and happy when we spend time together. He's the most thoughtful, giving and companionate man I've ever met.

 

He knows I have another male friend (platonic) who I spend a lot of time with. I know he has other important relationships in his life (ex-wife main one).

 

I feel like what we're doing has the potential to leave others hurt.

 

His wife, who I know well, wouldn't be very happy about it. She knows he and I are friends, but I've known her for 20 years (not well). I worry that he's not making the effort he otherwise would because his need for companionship are satisfied elsewhere. My ex's parents, brother and aunt all live on the same road as me and my FWB, and again wouldn't be very happy about it ( we leave each other's places in the dark so no one see us). I'm sure my ex would flip if he knew too. As would my other male friend, who doesn't know that I'm doing the dance with my friend/neighbour.

 

I realize we've woven a tangled web. But our relationship is giving each of us so many good things and neither of us wants to quit. We've being very private. We have agreed that each of us has the right to tell the other we need to stop at any time. But it's getting a bit odd for me because, last night, I realized that I'm would only settle for a man with so many of the same attributes as he has, and I'm worried I might also be one of the people who end up hurt. At this point I'm certainly not in love with him, but I can't believe the compatibility.

 

Any thoughts?