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Knowing the end of a relationship is near...the best way to end it?


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Change is difficult I am not a kid but a grown woman with 3 girls.

I co habituate with a man who I have known nearly 8 years. We have been in like, in love, indifferent, introspective, and irritable. Right now my heart is numb and I am trying to figure out how I got here.

 

We started in love. We like the same things; did a lot together; raised the children together. He was nuts for me, thought I was the most beautiful person on the planet and so glad I was meant for him. One of my fondest memories is of him talking to me about his crazy younger days. I was in a bit of a haze, in the hospital emergency room waiting for a doctor. There he sat telling story after story. I loved that. I loved that guy.

 

Now we barely speak. There is nothing of interest to share. I want "that guy" and I cannot get him back. I sound like a bitch, he sounds like an ass and we are not making any headway but we are transitioning.

 

We spent too much time stagnant and now we are in rapid water. There seems to be only one ending and I somehow want to control it.

Can we plan a break up? Transition him out of our lives. He is resisting. He wants to make it work/ he thinks he can fix himself this time.

 

I believe he will stay the course, but the course leads to the fall.

 

So anyway I joined this group so that I had someone to talk to

Z[font=century gothic][/font]

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  • 4 weeks later...

i'm not sure if this is relevant anymore - but how is it going? did you guys end it cleanly?

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About a week ago I discovered my man was using the computer to communicate with women, erotic chat and such.

 

I am not sure how I feel, confused, hurt, unable to move.

Its like someone just told me I was worthless. I feel used.

 

He apologized and said he wanted to stay with me.

Promised lots of new adjustments.

 

 

I cannot speak with him about it because I really (for once) don't know what to say.

 

 

Am I numb? Have I lost something?

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I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

And of course you've lost something. This is the man who used to make you feel special, singled out--even if your relationship isn't what it used to be. And now you find out he's flirting and playing around with someone else.

 

Can you get some therapy together? Even if you end up separating, this could help you both achieve some clarity.

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