got another email from exsMM's W

[Lookingforward]

Doesn't worry me wwiu... there's nothing on my profile but my name and one contact.

 

I'm pretty sure now she hasn't brought this up with him however.

[bish]

asking why I was 'searching' her on the net and why her H is listed as a 'friend' on my profile - it's all in another thread about the first msge

 

And since her question was why you were searching her on the internet, what would your response be if you did answer her?

[bish]

Let me add...I don't think LF "owes" the wife anything at all.

 

I'm not suggesting this for any reason to support the wife.

 

I'm suggesting it because its the best way to extricate LF from the madness.

 

And it confounds me that LF refuses to take measures to get out of the situation.

 

Which is why I suspect that LF is ENJOYING this.

 

I suspect this as well. Like you said OWL, all she'd have to do is say, "I was curious, it won't happen again, I'm sorry".

 

Why wouldn't she do that like you said? Because of the OW entitlement attitude that they can mess around with anyone and feels they have no responsibility for their actions.

[Lookingforward]

And since her question was why you were searching her on the internet, what would your response be if you did answer her?

 

no, that wasn't the question it was "what are you doing searching me on the internet" different phrasing and meaning (to me anyway) entirely.

 

I don't see any need to apologise to someone for doing what thousands do every day.

[winter]

why don't you just get a new email address? problem solved!

 

she has no way to know that you actually received her email, so just let it go

[Lookingforward]

why don't you just get a new email address? problem solved!

 

she has no way to know that you actually received her email, so just let it go

 

Excuse me? Why should I get a new email address? Even if she DID know my usual one which I realise now she doesn't.

 

Of course she doesn't know as I haven't responded to any of her messages, and don't plan to now.

[winter]

Excuse me? Why should I get a new email address?

 

because it would be pro-active

 

if you sincerely don't want contact from her, then it is such an easy solution

 

or do you want to read emails from her?

[Owl]

Its become patently clear that this is ALL his wife's fault. Completely, totally, utterly.

 

LF is totally blameless in any of this.

 

LF shouldn't do anything at all...the only person who SHOULD do anything is the wife.

 

She should just shut up and go away quietly. Perhaps even divorce MM quietly and quickly so that she's completely out of the picture?

 

LF shouldn't have to do anything...has no responsibility for anything. Anything that LF does is absolutely the right thing to do.

 

Change email addresses? Block contacts?? That's preposterous...since LF didn't cause anything, and its of course in no way her fault that emails got sent, people got added to her web page...it of course is totally out of the picture to consider that she should consider taking ANY action whatsoever to resolve the situation.

 

[bish]

no, that wasn't the question it was "what are you doing searching me on the internet" different phrasing and meaning (to me anyway) entirely.

 

I don't see any need to apologise to someone for doing what thousands do every day.

 

Thanks for the dodge and non-answer

[bish]

Its become patently clear that this is ALL his wife's fault. Completely, totally, utterly.

 

LF is totally blameless in any of this.

 

LF shouldn't do anything at all...the only person who SHOULD do anything is the wife.

 

She should just shut up and go away quietly. Perhaps even divorce MM quietly and quickly so that she's completely out of the picture?

 

LF shouldn't have to do anything...has no responsibility for anything. Anything that LF does is absolutely the right thing to do.

 

Change email addresses? Block contacts?? That's preposterous...since LF didn't cause anything, and its of course in no way her fault that emails got sent, people got added to her web page...it of course is totally out of the picture to consider that she should consider taking ANY action whatsoever to resolve the situation.

 

 

Don't you just love people that don't want to take any responsibility for their role in things?

[whichwayisup]

What I really don't understand is, technically speaking LF was NOT the OW. The man was separated from his wife (wife cheated) then he met LF. They started dating, then wife came back into the picture and he CHOSE to go back home to make it work, to give his wife a second chance. He ended it, went NC with LF. Forget how long the NC was before this search was made and he added her as a friend.

 

So, a name search was made, both get an email notification that LF was searching. Hubby added LF as a friend, wife got upset and then left message on the site to LF asking why her name was on her husband's friends list. (I guess she is the only name since apparently he has just one friend.)

 

I honestly now don't see what the big deal is, on LF's behalf. It's over, you searched, she reacted twice and you've ignored her 2 messages.. What I don't understand is, WHY you just don't delete him off your friends list. I don't get why you're wanting to play a game, whether it be just to bug her or to make sure you are on his mind still.

 

Why do you hate his wife so much? The anger you have really should be directed at HIM - HE is the one who broke it off with you to go back home. HIS choice. He could have said no, and stay separated..But he didn't. SO it seems now you're making HER pay for taking him back, away from you.

 

I could be offbase here, but that's what it seems like to me.

[Owl]

I've asked that same question about WHY she's so angry with the wife...with no response back.

[whichwayisup]

Well I do recall her saying that she HATES cheaters, and since his wife cheated on him, caused him pain, that's why she hates his wife. The anger though again, should be directed at HIM since he chose to go back home and give his marriage another go.

[Lookingforward]

Its become patently clear that this is ALL his wife's fault. Completely, totally, utterly.

 

LF is totally blameless in any of this.

 

LF shouldn't do anything at all...the only person who SHOULD do anything is the wife.

 

She should just shut up and go away quietly. Perhaps even divorce MM quietly and quickly so that she's completely out of the picture?

 

LF shouldn't have to do anything...has no responsibility for anything. Anything that LF does is absolutely the right thing to do.

 

Change email addresses? Block contacts?? That's preposterous...since LF didn't cause anything, and its of course in no way her fault that emails got sent, people got added to her web page...it of course is totally out of the picture to consider that she should consider taking ANY action whatsoever to resolve the situation.

 

 

 

ROFL Owl

 

Sorry, but I really honestly see no reason at all why I should change my email and there's nothing to resolve on my end.

 

I had a right to search whomever I pleased, she had a right to contact me, I have the right to not respond.

 

And no, I don't think it's all his wife's fault fgs.

 

The whole point is, there is NC with her H and that's what counts right? Her perceptions aren't my problem to resolve.

[Lookingforward]

Well I do recall her saying that she HATES cheaters, and since his wife cheated on him, caused him pain, that's why she hates his wife. The anger though again, should be directed at HIM since he chose to go back home and give his marriage another go.

 

Trust me WWIU, I have had enough anger to go around I've had a fair share for everyone lol.

 

I don't hate HER per se, just the fact that people can cheat and lie and manipulate and still end up with what they want, go figure.

 

I realise the situation I was left in was as much his doing as hers, but she sure didn't give a damn about me at the time, so I feel the same way about her feelings now (whatever they are).

[bish]

The question still remains, why DID you feel the need to search her?

[GPFan]

Trust me WWIU, I have had enough anger to go around I've had a fair share for everyone lol.

That you are harbouring a great deal of anger is clear to everyone. Perhaps it is time to let it go as you are hurting yourself by carrying around this anger burden. Holding on to anger prevents you from truly moving on.

 

 

 

I don't hate HER per se, just the fact that people can cheat and lie and manipulate and still end up with what they want, go figure.

Sour grapes? Let it go.

 

 

 

I realise the situation I was left in was as much his doing as hers, but she sure didn't give a damn about me at the time, so I feel the same way about her feelings now (whatever they are).

What was it exactly that she did?

 

Are you the one that had an online relationship and moved to be where he is only to have him return to his marriage? Is this what they did to you?

[Lookingforward]

The question still remains, why DID you feel the need to search her?

 

and why do you keep hammering this question as though it's a crime?

[Lookingforward]

That you are harbouring a great deal of anger is clear to everyone. Perhaps it is time to let it go as you are hurting yourself by carrying around this anger burden. Holding on to anger prevents you from truly moving on.

 

 

 

Sour grapes? Let it go.

 

 

 

What was it exactly that she did?

 

Are you the one that had an online relationship and moved to be where he is only to have him return to his marriage? Is this what they did to you?

 

It's not even so much what was done,as the WAY it was done, and yes she had a hand in THAT.

 

and I'm not angry, stop putting thoughts in my posts that aren't there.

 

These threads simply started because I was nonplussed at getting msges from her that she apparently thought I was obligated to respond to, and I was seeking input on whether I should or just let sleeping dogs lie.

[whichwayisup]

But the final choice was his. If he didn't love his wife and didn't feel she was worthy of another chance, then he never would have ended things with you. You're hurting, rightfully so, but quietly getting revenge, satisfaction, whatever - By keeping him on your friends list isn't helping you. It keeps you in this, even if it is unspoken and you're in NC mode. Fact is, it's on your mind..

 

Delete him and block them both on that site.

[Owl]

It's not even so much what was done,as the WAY it was done, and yes she had a hand in THAT.

 

and I'm not angry, stop putting thoughts in my posts that aren't there.

 

These threads simply started because I was nonplussed at getting msges from her that she apparently thought I was obligated to respond to, and I was seeking input on whether I should or just let sleeping dogs lie.

 

Interesting to note that nearly everyone here BUT you seems to be picking up on anger in your posts.

 

Also interesting to note that the majority of people BUT you also seem to think that you SHOULD respond in some fashion...even if its just to block her and him.

 

Either EVERYONE else's views and perceptions are wrong...or...

[Lookingforward]

Interesting to note that nearly everyone here BUT you seems to be picking up on anger in your posts.

 

Also interesting to note that the majority of people BUT you also seem to think that you SHOULD respond in some fashion...even if its just to block her and him.

 

Either EVERYONE else's views and perceptions are wrong...or...

 

I'm not letting her actions dictate my responses - sorry - but then I've already said a LOT earlier in this thread that I had come to that conclusion.

 

But of course she's the poor betrayed W and I'm the evil OW - whatever

[Owl]

The funny thing is, LF...YOU have already pointed out that this isn't an affair.

 

They were seperated when you and him started to get together...then he left you and reconciled with her.

 

You're NOT the "evil OW".

 

From my perspective...NONE of you "did wrong". Him, her, or you.

 

That's why I don't get it.

 

No, you don't "owe" her. Nor does she "owe" you. Not as a result of any kind of affair or anything, at least.

 

What I don't get is that you STILL seem to harbor ill will for her ("why shouldn't I play games with her?")...and you refuse to even consider just answering a freaking question to resolve the issue. Instead...you WANT her to wonder and worry about what's going on.

 

You're not the "evil OW"...but you DO seem to be a very self-centered, angry person who sees no reason to take a simple measure to put an end to the situation and resolve some fears stirred up by your search.

 

What I get out of your post is "I won't do it because there's nothing in it for ME!!!!". And it seems to be one petty way to strike out at her...for SOME reason you refuse to name.

[whichwayisup]

It's not even so much what was done,as the WAY it was done, and yes she had a hand in THAT.

 

She had a hand in that - Meaning? That she wanted to reconcile with her husband and how it was handled with him ending it with you?

 

I do see that you're still hurting from that break up, that's for sure. If it wasn't a big deal you never would have posted to begin with. I just wonder if there's abit more to the story than we know, and how much he may have led you on while he was trying to work things out with his wife? Was it immediate or was he back and forth for abit, then he decided to end it with you?

[NoIDidn't]

why don't you just get a new email address? problem solved!

 

she has no way to know that you actually received her email, so just let it go

 

Sorry, but I really honestly see no reason at all why I should change my email and there's nothing to resolve on my end.

 

 

Actually you don't have to change your email address, just change the one you listed on your profile on that site.

 

Seems simple enough.

 

BTW, when is this going to die? It all seems so pointless.