Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I am 64?

[Jamie31]

This is an issue in todays society. What to do with the elderly? Do we take care of them the way they took care of us in the past? Do we just forget them because they are no longer helpful to society? Do they deserve the same rights as younger people, or do they have more rights?

[HokeyReligions]

Do they deserve the same rights as younger people, or do they have more rights?

What rights are you talking about?

 

How do you want to be treated when you are a senior citizen? This has been an issue in almost every society.

 

How do you determine if "they" are no longer helpful to society? Perhaps as a society we should tap into their knowlege and experience to better ourselves? My own experiences may be a source of information for those younger than me. Perhaps not advice, but for those open to listen my experience may provide a frame of reference someone has not thought about yet. That's what I get from our senior citizens. I learned as much through the wisdom of my elders about keeping my marriage together and accepting my own personal challenges, as I did through counseling when hubby & I had problems. My husband sits for hours and talks to WWII vets and we always thank all vets for their service, because the stories they tell and the experiences they had make us appreciate our own lives so much more.

 

Your post is puzzling to me. I know you don't mean to - but you make it sound like once a person becomes elderly, they aren't really people anymore and they don't have the same feelings they had when they were younger.

 

Perhaps I'm a bit touchy on this because I'm on the AARP mailing lists, but I can tell you that no matter how old a person is, no matter what their health, people still need dreams, hopes, and something to look forward to and be a part of in order to live. People can feel mushy and romantic and silly at any age. Even when they are gruff and brusque.

 

I think we all should have a say in what we do and where we go as we age. I think children of elderly or handicapped parents should contribute to their parents care for the rest of their parents lives. And please don't shout a bunch of "what-ifs" at me. I know there are always exceptions. I can't stand my FIL - he's a worthless drunk, and mean. But if I have to, I will make sure he receives proper care as he ages, and visit him just so he has some new amunition to complain about for a while. Because no matter how much I can't stand him, without him I would not be married to my husband.

 

My mother is closer to death every day. She lives in a room in my house. She is in so much pain that she can't move much. She can feed herself and often get to the bathroom on her own. When she can't I clean her up. I bring her movies to keep her entertained, and books on tape. I go into her room and watch TV with her, or just talk. I learn something new everyday it seems. Sometimes mom is so out-of-it because of all the drugs she takes, that we will just sit quietly and when something she says doesn't make sense I ask her about it. She is challenged to come out from the fog of her meds and think about what she really wants to say. It's frustrating for her sometimes, but she has told me that she feels so much better when she is challenged or has something active to focus on rather than always passive like the TV.

 

I have no one other than my husband and he is older and in worse health than I am. If I get to a point where I can no longer live alone I will have no choice but to go to a nursing home and sit and wait to die alone. I've thought about this and it scares me. Will anyone visit me? No, probably not since I will have no family. Maybe some of these church groups will visit. I hope some bring dogs like I do when I visit nursing homes.

 

I don't see society changing - for the most part we forget about them since they are no longer productive. They don't generate any revenue that can be taxed. I try so hard to make sure my mom and her contemporaries know that I don't think of them as a burden, but as a joy. Money is money, but people are priceless.

 

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.

[moimeme]

Do we just forget them because they are no longer helpful to society

 

Apparently, 'helpful to society' equates with ability to generate cash. I think we better institute a 'usefulness' test to give people. Lazy blobs who spend their time on the Internet instead of working, for instance, should probably be shot.

 

While we're at it, if we're going to judge people by the amount of money they cost us or the money they do not contribute, we might as well put old people on icebergs once they get sick, right? We don't want to spend money on hospitals for the mentally unwell - we let them die on streets so why not do that with old people, too. We don't want to let any pennies go to helping the homeless so let's just widen the pool of the people we consider 'throwaways' to include the aging as well as the infirm. After all, money is so much more important than humans. Nothing benefits 'society' more than money. Not love, not values, not compassion. Just money.

[quankanne]

I wonder if Jamie's question isn't partly based upon what "society" tells us is acceptable. If you're young, you're in; if you look hot, even better. In one of the other posts, someone mentioned Jennifer Lopez's "ghetto butt" -- I realize that by today's standards, and in this country, she's found lacking because of her sizeable posterior, but in Hispanic culture, it's not problem, because women are supposed to LOOK like women, curves and all, not like some wormy elf who looks like she needs to be fed around the clock. But I digress ...

 

One of the frequent questions I get from people who find out that I write for a church paper is "don't you think the Pope should retire? He's kind of old to be doing that job." Just because the guy can barely keep his head up, or his hands from shaking, or even be able to finish a homily doesn't mean he doesn't have anything to contribute to society. From what I understand, his brain is still razor-sharp, but because people are accustomed to being told that getting old (or having the audacity to show yourself when you're old) is unacceptable, they say he needs to go. And I think they're wrong.

 

With age comes the kind of wisdom that helps make the world a better place; who better to share that than our seniors? They've survived the kinds of experiences we're going through, and then some! And if that presence of mind is gone, we still have something to learn -- it's called compassion, which makes our hearts grow two sizes larger.

 

As for elder rights, I think if we could just be able to assure our seniors that we can provide them low-cost medications and living arrangements so that they don't have to decide each month if it's going to be the grocery bill, medication or utilities they have to pay, that'd be okay by them.

 

hokey, if you're planning to retire in your area, you might want to look into doing pet therapy at a local nursing home. My dad would take the family poodle to the place my granny was at, and the little old ladies went crazy over her. Of course, she was a little lady herself, well-behaved, so the staff didn't mind ...

[HokeyReligions]

Run Logan, Run!

[HokeyReligions]

I have done that in the past with some of my dogs - go into nursing homes and visit. Everyone loved it. Since my mom moved in she requires so much of my time at night and on the weekends that I just have not been able to get back to a nursing home as often as I would like. Also, my #1 daughter-dog who loved everyone passed away a month after my mom moved in, and my #2 son-dog who would go to visit got sick and he died in 2002, and the two "old farts" that were my adopted family have also passed on.

[quankanne]

someone had her miniature schnauzer at the nursing home last time I went to visit my mom there, and that dog was so well behaved. I'm glad that people volunteer their time like that, because I've seen little old folks open up when there's a pet at the nursing home.

 

I hope that you're able to do that again, hokey.