Barrier with the opposite sex

[the_analyser]

I will try to be brief but it is a long story:

I am 21 years old college student and I just don't understand why I have never had any success with women in my life, not even "as friends".

 

 

 

 

High-school years: I was interested but I went to an all-boy boarding school and have very little opportunity to meet girls.

 

College Years: I have tried to approach ATTRACTIVE women in several scenarios but it never leads anywhere.

 

Classroom Scenario: I discretely seat close to a decent looking girl and whenever there is an opportunity I try to strike a conversation by saying things like "what do you think about the exam?" or "do you have a pen?". But more often than not I get a cold response. For example: last week I was seating between two girls and I needed some handouts that I missed from the previous lecture: I asked both girls if they got the nandouts and they both gave me a cold reply: "No I dont" and turn away.

 

PARTY/ CLUB Scenario: This is one of my favorites. So I have a few drinks, I loosen up and there are a lot of girls in the floor.

My typical pickup lines: How is your day?, Hi Im (myName) how are you?.

Then when I start talkng they always ask me where I am from because of my accent.

Anyways at the end they ALWAYS do 3 things: (1)They say they got to go. (which is a lie) (2) They say they have a bf. (3) They refuse to give me their numbers.

When I get a number and call in the next few days, I always get slap in the face.

SIMPLE: THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED.

 

Other Scenarios: I try to talk to women in bus stops and student-organization events. Occasionally I randomly ask a girl if I can join her if she is sitting by herself in the cafeteria. Although they act friendly, they dont express interest in seeing me again.

I have started to add random girls that I dont know to my Facebook account. When I see them online I try to chat with them but a lot of them dont even reply (I guess when they look at my Facebook pictures they get turn off very easily). One girl I managed to meet her in person, she invited me to her place just to hang out at the pool with her roomates. I was nice and friendly. When I called her the next week to see if she wanted to meet for lunch she said: "I cant, I dont think my bf would like that".

 

I dont have a lot of male friends and the few I have, are not in the kind of network where I could potentially be introduced to some girl.

 

BIGGEST OBSTACLE: I know saying this probably doesn't reflect a very strong character for a 21 year old, but I believe that it is all about my looks and HEIGHT. I am 5'5 and skinny and my face is anything but pretty. This isn't just about self-esteem, I simply know it.

Every time I walk around campus or just any place in public, it pisses me off to see that if a nice looking girl is walking with a guy, the guy is by all means better looking than I (even if he isn't the boyfriend, nice looking girls don't seem to even be friends with physically unattractive guys OR SHORTIES like me).

 

What I want: (1) Lose my virginity (NOT SO MUCH for the physical pleasure, but to stop feeling like a repulsive creature that no one finds sexy.

(2) Have women that are attractive (above average but not supper-pretty) interested on me, even if just as friends. I know I can be a cool person to hang out, it just a matter of them taking the time to get to know me.

 

What about ugly girls?

 

I dont have a problem being their friend if they approach me (AND TRUST ME, THEY DONT), but I wouldnt consider one of them for a serious relationship until I first experience something with one that is attractive or above average.

 

This situation is affecting my motivation in other aspects of my life. I have a though class schedule and I also work part time. Thinking about this problem I have with the opposite sex, distracts me and takes some of the energy I need to do other stuff. I have periods where I think that this issue is never going to be resolved and this

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

the.analyzer

[Suiyobi]

You can't do anything about your height but what you can do is improve your overall physical appearance. Start working out so you'll have a toned body figure rather than skinny. (Don't go overboard with the exercising though, you don't want to be muscular and short at the same time.) Also, you may want to change how you dress. Now I'm not saying go out there and start looking metrosexual, or gay even, but what I am saying is attempt to look clean and at least have a bit of fashion sense. Of course, it's okay to dress up grungy every now and then if that's your character.

 

As for the girls, I think there's just something you're not doing or saying that's keeping them interested in you for a long time. Unfortunately, I (nor anyone) will ever know where you're going "wrong". The only thing I can suggest is to pay a little more attention to what the girl might say as far as topics are concerned and see if you can expound on that. Throw in a joke here and there. Maintain good posture and give her a genuine smile. It's quite possible that you're just not giving off the right vibes even if you think you are.

 

I know you aren't desperate but you're borderline... Especially after reading the part that you're not so much into losing your virginity for sexual pleasure but rather for validating yourself that you're not repulsive. That's dangerous thinking there, dude. Relax, nature has a strange way of having things fall into place, so just take your time with seeking relationships and take every moment as an experience to learn from.