jrobbies Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 I was introduced to this guy, Keith, through a friend. We've hung out a few times alone, and other times in a group. Anyway, he's a funny guy, but not someone I can see myself dating. I find him kind of hard on the head, when it comes to making this point clear to him. I said, "let's just be friends" and at times he seems to accept it, but other times, he doesn't. Anyway, he wrote me an email the other day saying "my impressed levels are way down" . I figured that he wrote that b/c I was in a wedding last week, and had been busy and hadn't talked to him (or my other friends!). I read that and wanted to say something bitchy like "get a life", but didn't b/c that's not how i am. anyway, he wrote me again yesterday with this message: I just wanted to write you and say I was sorry for sending you that email I guess you just didnt get the messages and I guess i was just a typical guy in that I overreacted. Anyway I just wanted to say i was sorry because I really like you and i dont want us to not hang out, I want to see you again soon so lets do something? How should I respond to this? I want to say "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for this foolishness". Is this bitchy? Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
jackie Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 well i just got rejected by sum girl who 'JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS' and yea i reckon u shuld tell him straight up so he would not waste his time thinking about u and trying to get in. say sumthing like 'Sorry I do not like u more than a friend but yea friends are cool, if u need to get over liking me we shuld stop hanging out for a while until u really moved on' that worked in my case....... Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 He has misinterpreted the situation. He thinks there's a chance that the two of you could date. He hasn't figured out yet that such is not the case. He thinks you're a challenge he can overcome, and he's using some fairly common but rather underhanded tactics in his attempt to do so: imposing his "friendship" on you. But it's not really a friendship because he's not willing to accept what you're giving, he's determined to have more of your time and attention. You could be very forthright and call his bluff, and reply as you suggested above. Harsh but effective; although it might damage your social rapport with the guy. If he's someone you have to socialize with from time to time then you might not want to be so direct -- you could make an enemy of him. It's his own fault he hasn't figured out that you're not interested, but people don't like to accept the blame for their delusions. A better route might be to make it clear to him that he is not at the center of your radar screen, he's somewhere out on the periphery, one of many people, without making it obvious that you know he was hoping for more. You could say something like, "hey sorry if I don't always reply right away, I've got about ten different people I owe emails to at the moment, and I'm finally catching up a bit. It's hard to keep up with everyone when I'm so busy, I'm sure you know how that goes. Hope you're having a great summer and maybe I'll see you around sometime." Link to post Share on other sites
avrom87 Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Jackie wrote "It's his own fault he hasn't figured out that you're not interested, but people don't like to accept the blame for their delusions." I totally disagree with this one, because as guys we almost never know what is going on in the other sex'x mind b/c a guy's mind is like 180 degrees different from a girls mind. So if u don't want to go out with him, let him know. Otherwise he will just assume that u do and will proubably go crazy on why you'r not acting like u like him as a boyfriend! Link to post Share on other sites
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