Why is it so difficult?

[dhj]

Hello all, this is my first post, and a rather long one, so if you can, please bear with me. I did not want to register and post, but I am in a bind currently.

 

I have numerous problems, whether it's making friends or finding a girl. In this case, I am going to discuss the latter.

 

A little bit about myself - I am almost 24 years old and an undergraduate student. I'm currently studying abroad in Australia for the time being, doing Politics here.

 

And the issue at hand: Well, I have a problem with the opposite sex. I am so ashamed to admit this, but I have never once dated in my life, nor have I kissed a girl. I wonder why that is, maybe because I'm too nice, or that I'm too ugly (I have been referred to as a "street rat" countless times by women, if that helps), but nevertheless, it is fueling my discontent currently. I've always had problems since high school, because I was pretty shy and quiet, never bothered to make the first move with a girl I would like until around my junior year. I started to open up a bit as per advice from a good mate of mine back then. But unfortunately, it ended in disaster as it failed to net me anything, even a long-lasting female friend or two. They were friends with me at first but in my senior year they all turned against me, why? I don't know to this day, 7 bloody years later. To add insult to injury, a girl whom had originally agreed to go to prom with me decided to jump ship, told me that I am too ugly to be seen with her, and ditched me for another guy that was ostensibly better looking and possibly had a better personality than me. So then I had nothing, demoralized and bitter, and acknowledging the essence that I was unwanted. Finished senior year without going to prom, nor acquiring a girlfriend or even long-lasting female friends.

 

Then college came about, and I held high hopes that college would turn me around and basically turn the tide. Unfortunately, it has not yielded me any positive results. I still encounter difficulty even nabbing the girl's interest, and while it may seem like it at first, after that it all goes downhill.

 

I don't want to bore anyone with the excessive details so I'll just fast-forward it to present.

 

I'm now in Australia, hoping that perhaps this may reverse my fortunes and net me a girl, but Christ I am still experiencing problems here. I have been far more open here than I have been in any time of my life. I have been attending parties and being social in my classes, but still to no avail. There is this girl in one of my classes that I have a crush on so I took the initiative to speak to her. I got her number and Facebooked her (I asked for her permission prior to adding because I do not like to FB stalk), but I texted and called her, but she never responds back. What's the point in giving someone your phone number if there's not going to be any use for it? Another instance is with this girl I met through Facebook since we are doing the study abroad at the same university. I talked to her a lot on AIM, FB, and even on my mobile and I thought it was going to be great because I would have a girl to talk to, even as friends (seeing how I have very few female friends), and I even called her when I was at the airport en route to Australia to notify her that I'm safe and sound. In fact, she was the second person I called after my parents to notify my status before departing the country. I come to the country, meet her, but she was not ecstatic to meet me for some odd reason. This was during a tour that she HERSELF invited me to so we could go together, but instead she flat out ignored me, and acted as if I did not even exist. I felt deceived and betrayed, because prior we were ecstatic about meeting each other, and I understood that we weren't going to "hook up" but we would hang out as friends, which I would express excitement towards. I didn't talk to her for almost 2 months, until I stumbled upon her the other day, where she did not again express excitement to see me after a while, but had the gall to ask me if I had drugs on me. Needless to say I walked away in anger because she was using me for her newfound activity.

 

So now, I'm in a bind, and I am clueless on what I should do. I hate being 24 and never being able to attract even females 4-5 years younger than me. I also hate the fact that I am not appealing enough for any female, even in another bloody country. There's so many things I wish would work on me, and it makes me envious when I see guys at uni who often have girls coming up to them, saying hi to them, and hugging them. Such a case doesn't happen to me, because of course being nice doesn't land me anything.

 

It's been plaguing me for years, and I don't think I can see any end in sight, even in another country.

 

So as the subject implies, why the bloody difficulty?

[westrock]

Do you belong to any clubs at university? If not, get involved. That's where you will meet like minded people who will see you having a good time.

[dhj]

Do you belong to any clubs at university? If not, get involved. That's where you will meet like minded people who will see you having a good time.

 

Not only have I joined clubs, but I have also been going to events where I can meet like-minded people who share similar interests.

 

But no dice.

[UbisoftAssassin]

I am in the same position at school mate just im 16 i hang around with a lot of the guys though firstly your obviously trying to get yourself out there and getting to know people which is good. It's good to be confident when chatting to girls for the first time it's also cool to keep it quiet brief and not too keep on for too long otherwise they will get bored.

 

Also give them a bit of mystery maybe some stuff about your past but don't say everything keep them thinking about your past or something might work.

 

Looks ain't everything mate and the girls who say others are ugly are usually just jealous or something for all you know the girls might think their out of your league or something XD

[Disillusioned]

If you think that situation is tough in Australia, well you should try being a single 40-yo man in Los Angeles. I am told by people from out of town that Los Angeles is the worst possible place on Earth for a man to find a date. For one, eligible bachelors are practically growing on trees in this town... two, the bar scene here is either a bunch of college kids who won't give a non-student the time of day or a bunch of old grey-haired guys who just want to get drunk, and third and most importantly, no one in this city seems like they're trying very hard.

 

You'd think singles would get tired of being lonely and getting ripped off and lied to by dating services and matchmakers, and saying "know what... why not just get together and start having our own little meetings, and if a bunch of ripoff artists don't like it, well that's their problem not ours". I can't figure out why that hasn't happened here.