marlena Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 I know some people aren't considering what you had with DG real since you had no in person relationship, but I can understand what it's like to form a "habit" that is hard to break. You get used to emailing someone. Hearing from someone. Etc. Yes, it happens all the time. Online affairs are very common and the emotions are often very deep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 You mention really enjoying nature, so why not go hiking with a group of people? Walking the beach with a group, whatever. Hey you, Long time no see you. Oh gosh, I did that group hiking thing once and never again. Those people wouldn't stop talking. It drove me so insane that I let them go as far as I could and got close to the trailer guy. But DG, what a nightmare. I agree. I don't know aria, I don't know anything anymore. Thanks for posting and good to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
e.clipse Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 hey A, i hope you are feeling better by now. i'm really sorry to hear about the stolen purse and other valuables. LA county (and surrounding counties, really) can be such **** sometimes! thankfully, you didn't have cash in your purse and the things that they took are things that can be replaced with not too much hassle. just don't forget to check your accounts to make sure they were not used! also, don't be sad. and don't listen to people who criticize you, because while they are certainly entitled to disagree with what you do, there is absolutely no need to be condescending or critical about or of your actions. by doing so, they are just putting you down, and that is neither "helpful advice" or "tough love." the truth is that you need to do what you need to do. as long as you don't hurt anyone--which you aren't--then take the moments as they come and work your way from there. i know some may say that you are hurting yourself, but i believe that if you force yourself to go against your own nature and do things because some say that is what you "should" do, that actually hurts you more. in the end, DG will either end up with you or he will not. but as long as you stay true to yourself, you will be okay because you will rest in peace knowing that a.) you were right to hang on or b.) it didn't work, but at least you know you tried. maybe it's not the most conventional way to deal with things, but dealing in this way is certainly more raw, i think, and it works for some of us. i know i did this (and still am), and it has hurt a lot, but i kind of see the light now...and i am happy in knowing that i tried as much as i could. the rest, we are yet to see. so just take each moment and each action as they come. allow yourself to feal the emotions that surge, even if others disagree. just bear through them and know that what needs to happen, will happen. hugs to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 so just take each moment and each action as they come. allow yourself to feal the emotions that surge, even if others disagree. just bear through them and know that what needs to happen, will happen. hugs to you. Aww... thank you e.clipse. Yes, I've been dealing with the moments as they come, but what do you make out of an email like the one he sent me? Sigh.... the pain. Good luck to you too with your love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 From: A Subject: Re: ? Date: Saturday, May 30, 2009 5:21 PM And how ironic... that you dumped me exactly on the day I drove to Denver, three years ago. ----- >From: DG >Subject: Re: ? >Date: Friday, May 15, 2009, 2:49 AM >Got it. >I will not respond to any further emails from you or otherwise contact you again. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Aww, that's sad hon. And I'm sorry your purse got stolen and you had to go through all that yesterday. Please, for yourself, try to let go and move on. Live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 Please, for yourself, try to let go and move on. Live your life. Thank you. I have to tell you that now I feel very turned off with this situation. So I might. Hope you are having a great day today. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Thank you. I have to tell you that now I feel very turned off with this situation. So I might. Hope you are having a great day today. Though "turned off" isn't a good feeling, I'm glad to hear you are feeling that way. Perhaps you are starting to see DG in his entirety now, and not as you wish to see him. He is just a man, after all, and has flaws like all the rest. It's very difficult to find a partner who is perfect in every single way for us. We can only hope to find someone who wants the best for us and tries to help us find it, just as we would help them find the best for them. There will be differences, but if the goodness is such that it offsets any differences, those differences are much more easily overlooked. You are a very pretty girl, and you seem very intelligent and in tune with people's emotions. I bet you would take care of a man's heart in fine fashion, if you would only give the chance for a man to have that with you. A man who wants that. I know you don't want anyone right now. I totally get that. No one would seem good enough at this point or even spark a mild interest. But I hope you continue to really look at DG in his ENTIRETY and see the reality that he is, after all, just another man. Therefore, you can let go of this fantasy that you wish him to be - for you - and begin to live fully again. I truly wish that for you. And I hope you have a wonderful blue sky day as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 3, 2009 Author Share Posted June 3, 2009 You are a very pretty girl, and you seem very intelligent and in tune with people's emotions. I bet you would take care of a man's heart in fine fashion, if you would only give the chance for a man to have that with you. A man who wants that. I truly wish that for you. And I hope you have a wonderful blue sky day as well! Aww... thank you. You seem like such a loving caring person yourself. And you've taken so much time to reply to me, I can only think that. I wish you all the best in the world! Love (And thanks to everybody else, you people rock!!!) Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 And thanks to everybody else, you people rock!!!) And so do you, A. You really do have a lot going for you. Actually, it is nice to see someone who is not afraid to stand out from the rest of the crowd. Take care and so sorry about the horrid day you had yesterday. Oh, and your son is adorable. He looks so much like you. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 Your son IS adorable, A!!! All that wild, curly hair just like his mama. So cute! You know what they say... the girls love the curls! lol Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 All that wild, curly hair just like his mama. That was the first thing I noticed, too. And a gentle face. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 That was the first thing I noticed, too. And a gentle face. Yes, a very sweet face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 Oh, and your son is adorable. He looks so much like you. Your son IS adorable, A!!! All that wild, curly hair just like his mama. So cute! You know what they say... the girls love the curls! lol You guys are too kind. I didn't want to bring up this thread again, but thank you. (Oh, and he cut his hair short it was getting huge) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 Hi guys, Well, it's been almost three months since I last heard from Denver guy. I'm devastated. And the worst part is that I've discovered (thanks to Touche), that this whole thing has been a misunderstanding... Even though I felt relieved that it was at first, I've only been feeling worse as days go by. First I wanted to apologize for taking my wrath on the forum. I know I've been bashing people left and right, but it's only a result of how miserable I've been. And of course it doesn't help the fact that I lost my job a month ago or so. So that adds up. If you remember, this whole mess happened when after writing with DG almost daily for a few months, I wanted to talk to him on the phone and made a call to his house to which he didn't answer. The last time I talked to him was on March 06. He had already gotten together with the dollgirl, and I didn't know anything about it. That week that he was with her I spent the whole week crying for no reason. He kept asking me why, and I didn't know, so I told him it was because it was raining since that makes me kind of sad, and at the end of the week, I got sick with a fever. That was the first time I'd gotten sick in years, so he called me and we talked for an hour. That was the last time I talked to him. Well, back to the present.. After he didn't answer the phone, I sent him an email asking him why. He didn't respond to that, so I sent him "this" stupid email: > Oh yeah.... > You are a ZERO. > Remember? > A NOTHING. > Never ever ever ever forget that. > Because I'll never even talk to you. Of course I was talking about myself and putting words in his mouth. But after talking to Touche one day, I forwarded that email to her and she said: ----- Well, can you blame him? You called him a zero! I would have thought he would have loved you for that though. Oh well... Well does he understand how you meant that? Maybe he thought you were calling him a zero. See you didn't explain it properly. The email made it look like you were calling HIM a zero..not yourself. ----- And that's when I realized that he must have thought I was talking about him. This has really crushed me... What a stupid thing! And now it makes sense that he has responded with this: ---- Got it. I will not respond to any further emails from you or otherwise contact you again. ---- I guess I deserve it for idiot. But he is not taking his words back, and I've only gotten more and more depressed. And this situation of unemployment doesn't help. It doesn't help to be sitting at home all day, just thinking. Today I signed up for a volunteer organization to help in retirement houses and I'd love to do that. But then, I also feel guilty for not looking for a job instead. Either way, something will fall apart. I've been writing to him of course, trying to explain to no avail. I even called his house a couple times, something I never do, but since he said he won't contact me, reading my emails doesn't help. At least if I call him he can answer the phone and not be the one to contact me. I stop writing to him for several days till I give in (and I don't even know if he is reading them at this point). I truly believe he is "the one" and I don't know how to give that up. I don't even know what to do anymore, I can't grieve.. I'm just stuck. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'm curious as to why you are posting this ?.. Are you asking for advice ? ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'm curious as to why you are posting this ?.. Are you asking for advice ? ... No, I don't need advice. Maybe to vent, maybe for commiseration. I don't even know. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Oh well.. since you don't need any advice I'll just move on.. Nice talking to you Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 I lost my job and my fiance last year. It sucks, but you go on, because you owe that to yourself. You choose to move through it, even when you don't think you can. I get that you feel to the depth of your soul that he is "the one." I've been there too. But if that were true, you would be together, or at least on the same page. And I understand the spiritual connection, if that's what you're feeling, but honestly, I don't know any belief system that would interpret what you're experiencing as "meant to be together forever." Meant to learn and grow, maybe. But sometimes misinterpreting the reason we happened to cross paths with someone causes all kinds of heartache, and it sounds like maybe that's where you are right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 I lost my job and my fiance last year. It sucks, but you go on, because you owe that to yourself. You choose to move through it, even when you don't think you can. Sorry about that. I guess my problem with this is that we never had a chance. If I had gotten together with him, be in a relationship, be engaged, and have it fall apart.. I suppose that then I would understand. Ok, we did this, it didn't work. But no, not even that. Thanks for responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 Now that I remember... The last time I talked to him, he didn't tell me that he had gotten together with the dollgirl. So the one of the first things I asked him was: Me: Are we going to see each other again? DG: I think so... Don't you think so? Me: I don't know. DG: I think so. Me: How are we going to do that? DG: We'll figure it out. Of course, we never saw each other again. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 A, I never thought I'd see this thread alive again. I am just wondering have you dated anyone else since your last post? You know you are a strong woman, yet when it comes to DG, he makes the worst come out of you. I don't want to sugar coat anything, but you really really have to stop seeing DG as " the one". For your sake, I'm more than certain if you give others a chance, you might find love from someone who's more than willing to reciprocate. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 I am just wondering have you dated anyone else since your last post? No, I haven't had a date in 2.5 years. Men died for me when I met DG. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 No, I haven't had a date in 2.5 years. Men died for me when I met DG. Oh A, you gave away almost 3 years of your life to a man who wouldn't even write you back. Why wouldn't you want to change your outlook on things and the direction you're going in your life? I'm pretty sure your son must be worried about you. I know I would if I see my own mother get hurt by a man. Maybe you haven't given up on men completely, merely only because you're unable to see any other men because of DG. He's the personification of someone who is selfish ( marrying another girl is evidence enough). Please, please, give yourself another chance to see that there's more to life than DG. Don't let him or his letters run your life. There are more significant things than words that are merely written to please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted August 10, 2009 Author Share Posted August 10, 2009 there's more to life than DG. Don't let him or his letters run your life. There are more significant things than words that are merely written to please. Yes. He for me is more than that. He is true love. Link to post Share on other sites
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