JamesM Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Sure they do, if they didn't you wouldn't be here. You would go find another web community to help affirm and confirm all the delusions you've conjured up about this guy. Your point? Just as you have started threads that others may think seem a bit unnecessary, so maybe Ariadne has one that you have your opinions about. So as I and most on LS do, ignore said thread and respond to another one. Going after someone for what they post here and deciding when said problems should be solved defeats the purpose and helpfulness of LS. I for one am not condoning delusions as much as I would like to let Ariadne know that some of us read her threads and sympathize even when we disagree with her directions in life regarding DG. Counseling only works when the person being counseled actually reaches the conclusion that is best for her. And I have found ithelpful simply to type out my thoughts as a way to reach the best conclusion. Sometimes I can do it in a short time...sometimes it takes longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 LIVE your life, find a man who can date you face to face, take you out, spoil you.. Well, now I'm more dedicated to the gurus. At least they are wise and they can't ditch me. Thanks. You have people acting like you dated this guy. You never had a relationship with him. People here know the whole truth. My post was not so much a pat on the back as it was a hug. Thanks again James. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 Gosh... James... I'm in love... You have a way with words... I totally agree with EVERYTHING you posted here.. well said.. Thanks for your support Lizzie. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Your point? Just as you have started threads that others may think seem a bit unnecessary, so maybe Ariadne has one that you have your opinions about. So as I and most on LS do, ignore said thread and respond to another one. Going after someone for what they post here and deciding when said problems should be solved defeats the purpose and helpfulness of LS. I for one am not condoning delusions as much as I would like to let Ariadne know that some of us read her threads and sympathize even when we disagree with her directions in life regarding DG. Counseling only works when the person being counseled actually reaches the conclusion that is best for her. And I have found ithelpful simply to type out my thoughts as a way to reach the best conclusion. Sometimes I can do it in a short time...sometimes it takes longer. I don't think her threads are unneccesary, I think it's ridiculous when people condone this and it's just harming her. That said, I can see that you don't even see the harm you are doing. You think you are offering empathy and kindness to someone who needs it, you seem to be very unaware that you are just going to aid in perpuating the pain she is actually in. She uses others here to keep the story rolling on for her and you are falling for it hook, line, and sinker. You are like the friend who gives the coke fiend in rehab some coke when you see how hard they withdrawls are. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 DING DING DING....now we REALLY have a winner! So you are under the impression that she needs to post about DG writing on LS as another poster for what reason ? Maybe DG didn't want to be tied to that login ID.. He obviously wasn't posting to her or about her so he obviously wanted to remain Anonymous.. How is outting the identity of another poster ever OKAY ? I don't think she needed to post it for any other reason that she needed some attention and she needed the added Drama that it would create in her life.. As far as ignoring a post as Lizzie suggests.. well that isn't what Ariadne wants now.. is it ? If she wanted to be ignored then she wouldn't be posting about it. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I don't think her threads are unneccesary, I think it's ridiculous when people condone this and it's just harming her. That said, I can see that you don't even see the harm you are doing. You think you are offering empathy and kindness to someone who needs it, you seem to be very unaware that you are just going to aid in perpuating the pain she is actually in. She uses others here to keep the story rolling on for her and you are falling for it hook, line, and sinker. You are like the friend who gives the coke fiend in rehab some coke when you see how hard they withdrawls are. Well said, and true, too. We're all enablers. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Well, now I'm more dedicated to the gurus. At least they are wise and they can't ditch me. Thanks. What, exactly, defines "guru" in your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 What, exactly, defines "guru" in your mind? Oh, the so called "enlightened masters" or sages. I find it a lot of fun to read their writings and to listen to them. I include all sages, even Lao Tzu. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 What, exactly, defines "guru" in your mind? (I also consider Jesus to be the ultimate guru. I find his teachings fascinating and I'm devoted to them as well). Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 (I also consider Jesus to be the ultimate guru. I find his teachings fascinating and I'm devoted to them as well). That's a given (for many at least). But you labeled DG as your guru. Isn't that kind of an insult to Jesus? And if you hold DG in that kind of regard, are you really sure your gurus (aside from Jesus) are the best advisors? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 But you labeled DG as your guru. Isn't that kind of an insult to Jesus? And if you hold DG in that kind of regard, are you really sure your gurus (aside from Jesus) are the best advisors? No, just look at the life of Jesus, he was a guru. The most amazing. When I said that about DG, is because I consider DG to be a person highly spiritual, whom I admire, and the changes that were happening in me in the long run would make me stronger, better, etc. In that sense he was a guru. As the experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 I hope DG comes back. Until then, it's good to have a few friends to keep you company. Reminiscing is cool, and everybody does it, but we all need a dream, too. This is a great thread for keeping a dream alive. Cool! Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
ecm Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I've told you a zillion times. Most actors are narcissists and he seems to be no exception. You know this. I know you do. I guess he's getting his ego stroked somewhere else now. I didn't have time to read the entire thread...sorry. Just after reading his email, I was going to say he sounds rather narcissistic, too. Where in that email did he talk about anything besides himself?! Really? Ick. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Ariadne, I'm curious. How's the rest of your life going? Are there times when this guy isn't front & center in your head? Do you enjoy things, and feel good about your world? No judgement here, I'm just interested. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Who are you all to tell Ariadne what is "normal"? So what if she never had a relationship with him - there are many dimensions to life. Some people are dreamers and experience life mostly inwardly and others live externally and are only concerned with practical matters, work, actual relationships etc. Perhaps A's fantasy and suffering fulfills her on some level. Perhaps she is, for whatever reason not ready for an actual relationship. I believe that she will hold on to her dream as long as she needs to and discard it when it no longer serves its purpose. And believe me, none of you are enablers - A is very strong willed and her opinion is not swayed by what others say. She needs LS to vent and talk much more than she needs advice. Telling her to "move on" has obviously NOT worked 4 years ago and it's not going to work now. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Who are you all to tell Ariadne what is "normal"? So what if she never had a relationship with him - there are many dimensions to life. Some people are dreamers and experience life mostly inwardly and others live externally and are only concerned with practical matters, work, actual relationships etc. Perhaps A's fantasy and suffering fulfills her on some level. Perhaps she is, for whatever reason not ready for an actual relationship. I believe that she will hold on to her dream as long as she needs to and discard it when it no longer serves its purpose. And believe me, none of you are enablers - A is very strong willed and her opinion is not swayed by what others say. She needs LS to vent and talk much more than she needs advice. Telling her to "move on" has obviously NOT worked 4 years ago and it's not going to work now. the same right that extends to you when you respond with your own judgements on other people's threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Who are you all to tell Ariadne what is "normal"? So what if she never had a relationship with him - there are many dimensions to life. Some people are dreamers and experience life mostly inwardly and others live externally and are only concerned with practical matters, work, actual relationships etc. Perhaps A's fantasy and suffering fulfills her on some level. Perhaps she is, for whatever reason not ready for an actual relationship. I believe that she will hold on to her dream as long as she needs to and discard it when it no longer serves its purpose. And believe me, none of you are enablers - A is very strong willed and her opinion is not swayed by what others say. She needs LS to vent and talk much more than she needs advice. Telling her to "move on" has obviously NOT worked 4 years ago and it's not going to work now. I agree.. who are we to say to a complete stranger, someone we have never met in real life.. who we don't know much except for what she posts, what is normal or not about her behaviour.. From what I've read from her.. she seems to be happy... I could be wrong.. but this is the feeling I get... I don't need to be in a relationship... maybe she's like that.. maybe she just doesn't need a man in RL... a 'fantasy' could be enough ... who knows... Ariadne.. Methink you're over this guy... you just like to think and fantasize about him.. but again.. I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 Ariadne, I'm curious. How's the rest of your life going? Are there times when this guy isn't front & center in your head? Do you enjoy things, and feel good about your world? No judgement here, I'm just interested. The rest of my life is pretty much chaos. I am right now living off savings and unemployment, and I don't like my career. My son is 19 and for the past year has only been dating and playing video games. I really don't know. As far as DG being the center etc, not this time. I was just surprised to find his posts. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 A, I think it is definitely a fantasy that you have nurtured over a long period of time now. I find it despicable that DG ever got back in contact with you knowing that his response non-response patterns cause you so much distress. He knows how much you suffer from his exits in contact from your life as it is clear to all and has been told to him both by your actions and dollgirl as well. So why continue to pop in and out of your life KNOWING how much it stresses the situation? Because he likes the attention, because it is like having a plaything he can turn on and off at his will. I hate to see you played with in this manner. I hate it. I don't think you are capable of making reasonable decisions where DG is concerned, for whatever reason. I don't know if he could not respond for 10 years and you would still obsess over him. Why? Is it something to do? Is it something to distract you from a life you are not totally happy in? I wish there was a way that you could channel the energy that you devote to DG to making your life one you want to live. There are a lot of people here on the boards that care about you warts and all but I am at a loss as to actually help you. Link to post Share on other sites
SadandConfusedWA Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Yes T, the only person that is truly an enabler in this story is DG. Not only did he know how deep A's feelings for him go, but after everything he used her as a sounding board for his love problems after his fiance left him. Cruel to the max. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 The rest of my life is pretty much chaos. I am right now living off savings and unemployment, and I don't like my career. My son is 19 and for the past year has only been dating and playing video games. I really don't know. As far as DG being the center etc, not this time. I was just surprised to find his posts. I'm sorry to hear that. I've been going through some rough times myself lately, and I noticed it causes me to miss my ex a bit more. Doesn't keep me stuck in the past, just brings to mind a time when things were better all around, and he happened to be a part of that. I hope things get better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 The rest of my life is pretty much chaos. I am right now living off savings and unemployment, and I don't like my career. My son is 19 and for the past year has only been dating and playing video games. I really don't know. As far as DG being the center etc, not this time. I was just surprised to find his posts. Tell your son to get off his ass and get a damn job! How's he dating with no money? Also..you really,really need to let this sh*t go! It's insane/depressing the amount of time you've spent on this "man/relationship"..let it go already! Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I have found, in conversation with her, that in A's world, men are not to be held accountable for anything. It's up to women to work and pay for everything, lest they be accused of "begging men for money" when a woman expects the father of their child to participate financially. Thus, it's not surprising that she is raising her son to be handed everything with no expectations or responsibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 It's easy to tell somone else's kid to get off his azz and work... but when there is NO work around.. then what.. you throw the kid on the street.. and tell him to f* off and take care of his own business.... Easy to say when someone doesn't have to deal with this problem.. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I don't beleive that there's anyplace where there's absolutely no work to be had, not even a part-time gig in a burger joint. My older kids have never had any trouble finding SOMETHING. Ariadne, has your son made a reasonable effort to find a job? Link to post Share on other sites
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