Send Generation

[wierdmunky]

My family has traveled here from a different country when I was about 2, and like a lot of my friends who are also part of a second generation, I have trouble bridging that gap of communication.

 

My parents will most always look at things from a very outside perspective, which kind of puts me in a sad situation with the parents, if I don't fit into their mold of things then I'm usually automatically labeled as 'outcast'.

 

There is obvious tension in the air always at home with my dad, I don't know exactly what he thinks because no matter what I ask he really doesn't let a lot of information out, unless its about something scientific or work related. He always looks disappointed. Sometimes I wonder why because If I were out of the house with my own kids and family I would absolutely love our little home.

 

I've been more than once yelled at at the fact that I've done things going against our culture. I still don't understand. He continually asks me the same questions over and over again. "Are you in school yet?" or "Do you know how to understand tagalog?" <--- every time some Filipino show comes on and now he's got my mom saying it. I answer the same thing every time too. Yes, you keep asking me that.

 

It's almost like they don't listen. I don't even know how many times I've tried to explain to them that I do know it, and translated it for them from the tv. Maybe we just don't know eachother, but it's getting hard to be myself at home and standing up for my own self and beliefs without feeling the tension, or feel like I'm hurting their feelings, but I'm definitely not abandoning where I came from at all. It is a huge part of who I am, I mean hello I look asian, and I'm still curious about where I came home and learn more about it.

 

But I don't feel like I should change who I am and what I like and don't like just to keep their minds at ease. I do the best to ease it otherwise. I'm not overly loud and obnoxious either. I guess I mean to say that it's wearing on my own spirit and how I feel about being a second generation from a different country, and how I act in general. I'm torn between myself, I know that if I probably were more successful, that they would probably be less judging but they would still judge, and I would just be even more angry that they would still find fault in things and not be happy.

 

I know not all 2ndG parents are like that. Any one have similar issues??