I talk alot in person and on the internet but I just can't talk over the phone!

[CerpinTaxt]

Alright man, here's the situation: I met this girl that I really like, she says she likes me too. We talk all the time over the internet and stuff but like I call her or she calls me and like I don't say much over the phone. I talk alot in person and on the internet but I just can't talk over the phone! I need help, why is this? It's not just with her, it's with everyone I know. I try to talk over the phone but I can't, I don't know why, I need help man. I'm not normally shy or boring it's just that over the phone I'm very quiet and I don't say much at all. I need help, please help.

[Tony T]

You may be a perfectionist of sorts. The telephone provides direct voice to ear communication so defects of voice, thought, sentence structure, etc., are easily detected. Pauses of silence can be deadly. Your phobia may be based on a fear that some imperfections may be detected by the other party. Not being real smooth a good thing. Nobody wants much to do with somebody who is perfect.

 

If you're afraid you may run out of things to talk about, make a nice outline of topics prior to placing the call. Then you can work off the outline and make your conversation flow well in exchange with the party you're talking to. It may take a little time but you can work through this pretty easily. Once you get confidence on the telephone, you will be very comfortable on it....millions are already.

[CerpinTaxt]

Well that's kind of the problem, I can't think of any topics. My mind is just blank and I don't say anything except for "yeah", "oh", "okay", "what's up?", and stuff like that. She told me to think about things to talk about and then call her but I can't think of anything. When I do say something I start asking alot of questions like I'm interrogating her. So what kind of things can I say without asking too many questions, and which will start conversation? I really don't know, please help, again.

[Patty]

When I first met my bf,I was kind of like you.I didnt know what to say when we were together or on the phone.I think after awhile it will come natural as you get to know her.If not start practicing with a mirror and write down things you would like to talk about.And just rehearse every now and then what you want to say before talking to her on the phone.I think its natural to feel that way cause you barely know her.Just start practicing before you talk to her.And after awhile it will be so easy and you wont even have to think of what to say to her.

 

Patty