Guy lacks friends/dating experience; a turnoff?

[fromlonelytogreat]

Based on my current situation, that is basically me in a nutshell. I'd love to have a great social life, but I don't at the moment.

 

Do the girls here find that to be a turnoff?

[Suiyobi]

I'm no girl but I'll tell you that it definitely helps to have friends and dating experience. As to whether it's a turnoff or not, I think most girls will agree that it is, although you'll always find a few that don't really care. But just to be "on the safe side", I suggest you start going out there and make friends. You don't have to be Mr. Popular, but at least have a few buddies to keep you company every now and then. And maybe they'll be able to give you dating tips along the way.

[fromlonelytogreat]

No one else?

[george35]

So why don't you have any friends?

[superd]

I say, whatever works for you. If you missed out on the first gf thing in the past, where you just stick mostly to each other for as long as the relationship lasts, then maybe it is a good thing for you. In this way your guy friends don't call you "whipped", or say that "friends should always come before woman" (which is bull****) or just generally feel hurt and betrayed by you sticking to the girl like glue.

[Likes]

I believe it's a issue of personality, not what you have.

 

I think it's like this: It's a turn-off if you're the sort of guy who doesn't make friends, rather than someone who doesn't have many friends.

 

Dating is not really all that hard. It's only perceived that way from an outside perspective, until you're actually dating, it's pretty easy. If lacking experience is related to difficulty.

 

Currently right now I don't have many friends due to contact. Although I am dating and doing great.

[fromlonelytogreat]

I believe it's a issue of personality, not what you have.

 

I think it's like this: It's a turn-off if you're the sort of guy who doesn't make friends, rather than someone who doesn't have many friends.

 

Dating is not really all that hard. It's only perceived that way from an outside perspective, until you're actually dating, it's pretty easy. If lacking experience is related to difficulty.

 

Currently right now I don't have many friends due to contact. Although I am dating and doing great.

 

I currently have two friends; both of which are not very social people. I generally catch up with either of them for coffee or a meal. I am fine with that; however, I wish to go out a lot more and be more social and they simply aren't those kinds of people.

 

I guess I don't actively make new friends because I don't meet enough new people.

[Likes]

You have to start somewhere. Whether or not you have one or one-million friends, get out there. Date, make friends, live life.

[CandyGirlXO]

For me it would depend on the guy. My EX for example was like you, he didn't have many friends and he didn't have much dating experience.

 

Here is where the problem was. He was socially ackward and didn't want to put in any effort into getting to know my friends at all. He also IMO was pretty much relationship retarded is what I used to tell him. Easy things that most people would know that to me would be common sense he just didn't understand. Little things like opening up a ladies door (not all the time, but every now and then) Also not always getting your way and doing EXACTLY only what you want to do. That caused a lot of problems.

 

Because of his lack of experience he didn't know how to compromise at all, and it got pretty annoying. Also he wasn't romantic at all, no flowers every now and then, no cards, no cuddling. I had to basically tell him EXACTLY want I wanted and needed from him at all times.

 

That is one of the main reasons why I left.

[fromlonelytogreat]

For me it would depend on the guy. My EX for example was like you, he didn't have many friends and he didn't have much dating experience.

 

Here is where the problem was. He was socially ackward and didn't want to put in any effort into getting to know my friends at all. He also IMO was pretty much relationship retarded is what I used to tell him. Easy things that most people would know that to me would be common sense he just didn't understand. Little things like opening up a ladies door (not all the time, but every now and then) Also not always getting your way and doing EXACTLY only what you want to do. That caused a lot of problems.

 

Because of his lack of experience he didn't know how to compromise at all, and it got pretty annoying. Also he wasn't romantic at all, no flowers every now and then, no cards, no cuddling. I had to basically tell him EXACTLY want I wanted and needed from him at all times.

 

That is one of the main reasons why I left.

 

I am the exact opposite of your last BF! I know how to treat a woman, but I won't let her walk all-over me either.

[vesper16]

Here is where the problem was. He was socially ackward and didn't want to put in any effort into getting to know my friends at all. He also IMO was pretty much relationship retarded is what I used to tell him. Easy things that most people would know that to me would be common sense he just didn't understand. Little things like opening up a ladies door (not all the time, but every now and then) Also not always getting your way and doing EXACTLY only what you want to do. That caused a lot of problems.

 

Heh. This sounds a bit like me, or, more accurately, the way I used to be. I even earned the nickname 'awkward puppy' from my friends because of it (well, that was one of the reasons)! I think having female friends has helped, I tend to be quite observant and am good at picking up on the sort of things that girls look for/want/need that you mentioned.

 

Some people just mature at different rates, I think it (the social awkwardness) is something you grow out of as you get older (I'm 25 now and while I still am socially awkward in comparison to my friends it's become less of a stumbling block than it used to be).

[Disillusioned]

Well, then I guess women should run from me like I was the devil. I've had some dating experience, but the woman had a party personality and she and I were worlds apart. It's not that I don't get on well at social functions; I don't get on well with people who haven't tried to accomplish something with their lives (I wrote and published a sci-fi novel). Usually I end up being the odd person out because I never went to college... but I also don't do drugs and I haven't had a drink since 1996.

 

Then there's my circumstances... I grew up caring for older relatives who are all gone now. I learned to cook, sew, and keep house (not just mow the lawn and take out the trash) when I was a teenager, and I thought that's the way people lived.

 

Now I find that even though I live alone in a 3-bedroom house in an expensive part of town, my independence is just as much a turnoff to women as having a house full of older family members. Sometimes I've been so frustrated, I felt like buying one of those dolls like in that movie, Lars and the Real Girl... but if I did that, I'd be put into the booby hatch. So, here I am...