how do i get the one girl for me back?

[hate-to-be-without-h]

I am in need of some one else's expertise in the area of how to win her back. we have been going out for almost a year. then some things started to go wrong for her- grandma had a stroke and her life ambition of having a full blooded raring to go stallion( horse) ended up not like that at all. i was there to give her a shoulder for it all and then a few nights later she told me that we should break up because we are suddenly too different. i reluctantly said OK and left her to be alone. days later she shows up at my house and wants to do something that night with me.

 

well one thing leads to another and i'll leave that thought there. now we are at the point where we talk everyday even if i'm working out of town or she is off doing something with her horses. she still calls me to help her with all kinds of different things and i do it without hesitation because of my feelings for her. in private she acts like we are together as a couple but not around anyone else. if i talk about moving on in my life and finding some one else to share my life with she says go ahead but it is in that tone that all us guys know about and you women know about too( it's not a go ahead tone at all). she wants to still go on the trip to Mexico with me but can not see any kind of future after that.

 

am i just being dense and not seeing what is really going on or is there still a chance that we might be able to get back and stay together??? i have no clue and am out of thoughts on this. if some one reads this and has any thing to say or advise to give please do so. i could use all the help i can get in this matter.

[Jamie31]

It sounds to me like she is a girl that wants to have her cake and eat it too. Meaning she wants you around but she wants to be able to do her own thing. She probably knows how you feel about her and since you are so willing to help her out whenever she needs it, she knows that she has you wrapped around her finger. She wants to keep you around for that stability..that "backup plan".

 

If I were you, I would just sort of ignore her for a little while. DO move on with your life, or at least pretend to. Go out and do your own thing, maybe even go on some dates and don't always be at her beckon call. Then maybe she will see that it is possible to lose you and that might get her to come back around.

 

I know it might be hard to act like you don't care, but sometimes you have to play along with the game.

 

Good Luck.

[Oxydol]

She obviously enjoys flying first class. However, as far as she is concerned, you are just the battered suitcase down in the baggage compartment.

 

Don't you want better for yourself? If so, then let this gal fly solo from now on.

[grounded]

Good grief, she lost her grandmother. This obviously brings strong emotions that she may be feeling stronger than the emotions she feels for you. That does not mean she does not love you, maybe even a lot. She can't know what she really feels for you right now until she heals from the death. That may take awhile. If she strings you a long for 4 months, that is one thing. But you have spent over a year with her. Give her 2 or 3 months if you have not already, at least. If she is still wishy washy, don't burn bridges, but respectfully remove her from your life to whatever degree you need to that will enable you to move on. It may take her 6 months or longer to get that feeling again. If she gets it back, then she can contact you. She may not have really lost it, just can't feel it right now.